Sweet Sweet Fuzz

Last night at about 3:15 am i got a call from the lady. All the cats had escaped through the kitchen window. Luckily otis and felix were quickly found however poor fuzzy is still on the lamb. normally fuzzy wouldnt even want to go outside. her fatness demands food to frequently to run off in such a fashion. especially now that we have the nice big house. when i get outta here i am going back to check out the old house just in case. they always say look where you just moved from when you lose a pet after moving. i just dont think fuzzy is smart enough to get back. if anything someone said in there "oooh-its-a-kitty-cat" voice here kitty kitty and i am sure fuzzy ran right up for some loving. if that is what happened those folks better hope i dont find out or else. or else what you say? well ill fuck them up big time. poop on the porch. pee in the gas tank. ill toilet paper there house in used toilet paper. i will shave there heads in the dark and dye there skin black if they are white. if black i will bleach them but it is my experience thus far in my life that black folks dont really like cats to much. but if so i will bleach them and dye there palms and the soles of their feet. i they be jewish i will break their jew noses and steal their jew gold. if it is the irish i will drink all their whiskey and then pull a braveheart on them. thats where you lock them in the building and burn it down like in braveheart. if they are italian i will degrease their hair and let loose cock-a-roaches (thats how al pacino says it) in their italian restaurants. if they are asian i will take their mothers out for a nice romantic meal and evening and then never call them again after i say i will. if they are fat guys ill sew their assholes shut and it they are skinny i will just break them like toothpicks. i will burn down their houses and bugger anyone who survives. then i will steal their cars pimp them out and then blow them up. i will take all the rope from their collective homes and make whips out of them. this whips will be named the whips of vengeance and fuzzy. with these whips i will hunt down there families and give each immediate member(mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers) 40 lashes. with the tears of these i will find the secondary families(cousins and aunts and uncles) and drown them in the tears of their bastard families. when i run out i will tie them to the ground and steal a steam roller. they will be tied in a line with feet near the heads and heads near the feet so if they were standing they would be on each others shoulders. then i would crank up my roller and start with the first persons feet. that when by the time i get up to their heads their insides will be like the toothpaste in the toothpaste tube and it will explode out onto the next person before they get the roll to. let that be a lesson to all those of you with dark thoughts in your brains about my kitties. i assure you it is in your best interest to just feed them and then bring them back unharmed. plus it will save me lots of time from hunting you and your kinfolk down. but dont think, even for a minute, that i will hesitate to erase you and yours. just like arnold did in eraser. or was he protecting them? either way watch your asses. until fuzzy comes back or i get back to work tomorrow night yall keep on chillin like you dont like killin and rappin cause you made it out of the trappin