Bros b4 Hoes!!!!!!!!

Well boys and girls, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today a straight soulja with the streets mapped on the back of his hands and wisdom in his mind from 1,000 different lands has fallen. No wounds, no attack of any kind, he just gave in to the little bitch buried within himself. The saddest part of it all is the reason behind his descent isnt even worth me typing the letters you read at this very moment. You may ask why, you may even ponder the endless possibilites, but dont, Nikia to the J is here to reassure you that the slightest bit of time you spend even in a half thought over these bitch ass notions isnt worth the brain power, and ya boy aint gonna let ya burn even one calorie over it, or her, or, that hoe ass bitch ass stupid ass vengeful ass, cock suckin ass idiot of a hoe fo sho. Ya see this soulja is just like a brother from another, so one could for go the classic approach of just telling so and so, "hey check yourself," in this case this fucker knows that the waters in which he treads are laden with the most treacherous of dangers. To top it all off sportsfans, he views all others views as threats to his inflated ego. All the way around, i just need to stay as drunk as possible in order to avoid mass murder or genocide or whatever. In the smallest way this could be ya boys fault, its not everyday you give one of your best homeboys a pass on being a shit bag ass pussy that cant even holla at a braod like a grown ass man is supposed to. All alone is all we are in the end sportsfans, so why chase those who cant even begin to accompany us through what is truly the hardest journey in life???? For now that's all I gotta say about that, ya'll hold it down, keep ya friends close and ya enemies closer.

That funky shit

1.) Pussy
2.) Califoria King sized beds
3.) Secret Coat Pockets (for the steel)
4.) MMA )
5.) Full Teng Katanas 6.) Glock 9's
7.) Gangstas
8.) Gangsta shit
9.) Chrome (not just for ya ride fool)
10.) The Dew
11.) Beers (to each his own)
12.) Ricky Bobby
13.) The dirty dirty
14.) Wireless Internet
15.) Woodgrain steering wheel
16.) Switchblades
17.) Tall Chicks
18.) 75in reach
19.) Digital Cameras
20.) That guy who died that did the cool voice overs
21.) Newport shorts in the box.
22.) HOODIES!!!!!!!!
23.) slip on shoes
24.) matching mis-match socks
25.) Grilled-still mooing steak.
26.) Jew jokes
27.) The Bernie Mac show
28.) Regole
29.) Wallet Chains
30.) Music, period
31.) Grappling hooks
32.) Glenville GA

a hault on the hate

Greetings to all yall up out there in the blogosphere, its time once again to spread the word like peanut butter on bread! (no jelly) First, mad props to the man Kimbo Slice, ya see, im a huge fan of hand to hand combat, even more so, i likes a good fight, even more so than that, is mixed martial arts. No as some of you may already know, kimbo has been handing out ass whoopins for a good minute in people's back yards, some douche named sean gannon says, "hey that guy is standing on his feet the whole time, he has no skill." But kimbo never claimed to be an MMA fighter, or to be an octogon bound prodigy. So, gannon challenges kimbo, kimbo being a street fighter lives by a different code completely, he has all his powers in his hands, not his knees, or his legs, gannon however sees this as kimbos weakness and stops throwing hands and tries to kick kimbo around and call himself the winner. All of a sudden Dana White with his suedo-intellect thinks he's got a new fighter to exploit and make millions off of. Kimbo walks into the world of the UFC with this target on him, (some, like me will call it the hate glare) everyone has the atitude that kimbo's galavanting around talking shit and getting knee deep in shit when all that has really come to pass is dana white's greed overwhelming his basic ability to make the right decisions. Now don't get me wrong, i hate see a cool ass nigga get his ass handed to him on live t.v. But the shitty thing is, this man never even asked to be part of any of the shit he's wrapped up in, kimbo saw a chance to handle his biz, and support his 6 kids, dana white only saw dollar signs. I mean how stupid can this fucker be, "hey kimbo you don't need no training to fight in the UFC just get in there and do what you do." Yeah right. If you watch Kimbos leg work and stature the man's a brick shit house with canned hams for fists. Fuck Dana White. Fuck Brok Lesnars bitch ass too. This prick got beat by Frank Fuckin Mir with a toe clench. ( It was sweet) But again i digress. All you hatin ass slow-mo non fighting ass hoes with your articles and your pre-conceived notions as to how the fuck it goes down with martial arts and boxing can all suck my dick and ride a fuel tanker right into a live volcano. Kimbo may not be the best in the UFC, but he's still the best on the street. The man has the skill and the potential, maybe Dana should can get a sumo wrestler and throw him in the octogon and make millions all over again. Point being, the man's gotta way of keeping niggas down and on the ground, if kimbo ends champ, it'll definetly be off of his own hard work and stamina. Not some douche with greed for bloodtype. All in all thats almost all i gotta say about that shit. Ya'll keep the heat, the cold's on the way. Nikia to the J out.

What if?

good day gang. as my amigo nikia pointed out it has been a hot minute since we have been on the old bliggity blog. this has caused me much pain to be away for so long. so with out further ado i bring you to the topic of this evening. What if i had won the lottery. $372 million. well let me lay it on ya, first i wouldn't quit my job. i would however take and easier position with less pay and only work 2 days a week. you gotta have things to do when you arent spending your millions. next i would do all the regular stuff. buy a house. next would be a car for me and the lady. then i would give $500,000 to all my friends, and even some people i dont know, just because. next i would buy a building out here where i work and a whole shit load of dynamite or TNT. then i would blow it up. what could be cooler than that? also i would buy an nfl team. doesnt really matter which one, i just think that would be cool. well i guess i ran out of steam there a little after the excitement of the blowing up so on to some things i have noticed. firstly, there is a smurfs movie coming out in 2010. is that crazy? i think so. will i be eager to see it? yes, i hate to say it i will. as soon as it comes out on netflix at least. Labor Day is coming up and its going to be a very busy weekend for us in the hotel biz. what exactly does that mean you say? basically ever dumb ass with a phone will call the hotel. and then ask the dumbest question ever. and not only that but they will either have a shitty accent or talk slower than molasses. and you cant tell them to hurry their dumbasses up and get to the fucking point because thats what we get paid not to do. but anyhow if you are one of the many jack asses planning on headed anywhere for any holiday, from all of us in the hotel industry- fuck you, stay at home.

Let the record state

Well, here we are once again ladies and ladies men, long overdue for a good installment of the blog you love so much you cant fuckin stand it. It seems that i have been blocked here at the hiltony hilton from bloggin, but some one has left there guard down today, so i had to get it cracka-lackin at the front desk before i get the nasty websense page again. Its been a good minute since the last entry on my behalf, because as the gun man himself said, we gets paid to blog, and where else but the hilton is the hour granted to you with a guaranteed amount attached to it. But let us not dilly dally in the nonsense that plagues all those who dare beseach employment at the hiltony hilton and get into focus. If you havent seen district nine yet, you gotta get on that asap, for those of you who know how nikia likes to kick it old skool, the granada has been upgraded and i still have only 3 things left until it is complete. My rims should look something like this. One of the coolest things ever, is the awesome find i made at the beach on sunday. My nigga shawn just got some leave time after being in the field for a good minute, so we slide into the crib for some of that budweiser, when it apparently becomes morning, we head to the beach in our sleepy stupor to chill hard like ice. We walk slap hands and make future plans and my niggas gotta be on his way, but with out my foot getting cut open on the most awesome shell EVER! If you havent rocked that rainbow six vegas two, you gotta jump on that without blinkin. You gotta see casino too. That movie will make you appreciate baseball bats like never before, i also learned that if you bury a motherfucker while he's still breathing, people will pretty much clear out on your behalf. For now i got work and more work. Ya'll keep killin it, and i aint talking bout the game.

The Ballsy Facts

Ladies and ladies me, at long last nikia to the J has returned to the beloved blog of choice. I had alot going on in a small space of time, but all thats in the past. The dust has settled and my mind has cleared and here we sit ready for the unveiling of the past. So lets us start with the tux, an adventure in itself that i didnt even end up wearing! (Dats dat nigga shit 4 yas) My dear cousin eric got hitched and asked me to be the best man, and nikia like yeast, had to rise to the ocasion. But not without some serious fuckin drinkin and krunk madness the likes of which have never been seen in the little town colquitt ga. The groomsmen had to wear all black suits so all the trying shit on and picking up shoes lead to nothing more than a bunch of wasted time. We got to drink 1500.oo worth of booze at the reception, so I built a pyramid on the table out of my empties. (the same table where the bride and groom sat) Me and my other cousins hung out tough like motherfuckers, we rode dirt roads burning it down and sipping almost all night. I got my mom, my aunt, 2 uncles, (who hadn't been in a bar in like 11 years) SHITFACED! It was the stuff dreams were made of. The next day was almost as good, grillin and chillin, then of course the throw back shit from the wedding, ranging from kahlua to bailys, no henny though. (those fuckers) I made back to the seaport just in time to work 13 fuckin hours on my birthday. The height of all irony is that i've always managed to dodge work or school on my day of days but the one time i dont it tries to rape the shit outta me. Karma is a bitch. For right now fellow scrapians, I gotta see a man about a room. Ya'll get cha roll on, and i aint talkin deodorant.

A Tribute to "The MAN" Al Borland aka Richard Karn

Hello and welcome once again to another version of the scrappy theater. today we are here to pay homage to a great man. his name is al borland. you my have seen him on such shows as home improvement which i usually call tool time. we all remember al as a lovable flannel wearing fat man whose mother was apparently massive and bearded as well. at least if you listen to tim taylor. what many of you may not know is that he was also the host of family feud back when the i was in college and we loved it. we would chill out big time before dinner while watching the feud then we would go to dinner and the horribly shitty food didnt look quite so bad. so hears to you al. and he also has a blog. well i hoped you learned something and if you didnt it ok as long as you are following the blog. if you arent following very unpleasant things may very well happen to you and your extended family. so watch out.

A quick thought or two

Well gang i know it has been a long time and yall are yearning for some good stuff from the sandford. well i have a little taste of that good stuff for you right now. i have moved to a new time at the job (8am til 4pm) which forces me to be around the big boss all day however i get to sleep in more and still get out early. all in all its good. except for the lack of blog time. today my playstation will finally come back in the mail and i hope against hope that they fixed it otherwise me and the tobes aka mans best friend might just have to get down and dirty on some computer kids. hopefully not though. also our beloved denver nuggets lost to the lakers. damn kobe and the lakers. GO NUGGETS!! whoo whoo!! well thats a little quickie for you. hope it was as good for you as it was for me. until next time slow your roll and if the cops try to stop you for jay walking give him the bird. that ought to teach them

The shit a G is made of....

Vice Versa:(This song heres called god damn vice versa its like Picture everything you thought was good was really bad everything bad was really good, what if heaven was on earth nigga the whole world versevice versa this shit here god damn goin on get you a phat ass blunt of that dro smoke that shit its all vice versa look up in the air nigga we rich nigga its vice verse i know all you real nigga gunna feel this shit)
What if heaven was hell and vice versa
If I told ya go to hell would ya tell I cursed ya
I reimburse ya with the truth so ya know my faith
and pray I die im that nigga that they love to hate
i wanna make you use your mind
god has sent the sign and when you listen to these rhymes nigga take your time
again I ask heaven was hell an vice versa
would ya start doin evil in order ta nurture
the spirit man do you understand there's a war thats ragin on
an the devils got some ammo too dont get me wrong
but I put my trust off in the Lord
its too corrupt know that god dont help me blow em up
I gives a fuck
heaven was hell and vice versa
I have no fear I dun witnessed to much hell right here
lend me your ear be cause the beer we had to pour
for all my niggas hit the devil with 44
payback nigga
my nigga keep me from tryin to enter
battle alone and the deal with all this wickedness
I smoke a zone
know im grown but im still a baby
its vice versa so i guess ill beg Satan to save me
God im confused, confused of all these motherfuckers
makin me sick
The Virgin Mary may not fuck nobody
but she suck dick
with a click of nasty concubine its vice versa so she prolly do the whole nine
that nasty ho
I don't know where imma go this christmas
It's Satans birth
imma try to smoke a pound of weed
to ease the hurt
While jesus equiped with angels and devils equip with glocs
for god so loved the earth that he blessed a thug with rocks
Wont stop until they feel me
Protect me devil I think the Lord is tryin to kill me
It's vice versa
Heaven is the low while this doja keep me high
an see the lord almighty nigga im ready to die
my reply for any questions asked the devil made me do it
whose the devil may I ask its so polluted uprooted from all this stupid shit
see me cremated my adaption to the climate
so glad I made it elated that they gun go to heaven
but do they know heaven may not be the place to go
again I ask heaven was hell an vice versa
the devils demons id be damned if ill let god hurt ya Follow me.

If this was vice versa
I be an angel cuz I'm a devil
A down south Georgia rebel
A whole nother fuckin level
reminiscing on all the good and the bad that I did
bussin caps an splitting wigs
an servin nigs
an talkin shit
this is vice versa no fuckin commercial
heaven or hell where do we go
when we die
eternal fire
or the streets of gold
only God knows
vice versa

D-n-R

Ahh ladies and gentlemen, how goes the daily grind? Today I have the most profound pearl of wisdom to bestow upon you fine folks. But first, hopefully you guys enjoyed El Cinco de Mayo like a real nigga should. Mine consisted of gin and juice, and the ever enjoyable company of my little sister and last but not least my penca ass penca friends. We had "rojas" and caldo de pollo for our hangovers and of course, we had to have some of those negras. But all thats in the past today we gotta lay in down the way its laid down in the dirty dirty. Today's lesson in is drinking and riding. All you need is a good CD, pomegranate crunk juice, and of course that Patron, but let me not forget that you should only D-n-R at grandma's where it aint cool to be drinking so you gotta ride to drink and she live on them clay dirt roads where its all good and the police dont be riding through to checkup on a nigga who just be chillin and minding his biz. (Whoa) Other than that my good buddies, its time to get on with the rest of the days task that are still at hand. The best is yet to come ya'll, and in the famous words of my comrade the gun man himself, be easy on the peasy, and keep ya prints off the scene.

The Tramp Stamp vs. The Flavor Saver

you gotta love it

and the results are in: having the flavor saver makes you a much bigger douchebag than having the tramp stamp. until next time watch you self and shake it fast

Chilaquiles

Hey you guys gotta try this classic mexican dish, its a breakfast deal so if you wake up with a hang over or just need some energy grub that'll "stick yo your ribs" like my grandma use to say.
You will need:
1.) One whole roma tomatoe
2.) One whole jalepeno
3.) Half of an onion
4.) Corn rotillas ( el milagro are the best ones, all chill no fill)
5.) Queso Fresco
6.) Rooster Bullets (eggs damn you)

First, you're gonna have to dice up the tomatoe, pepper, and onion, the chunkier you leave them the more you will taste them in your eggs.

Next, heat your frying pan with some butter or oil, and add the onion and pepper first with a pinch of garlic salt. When you get the overwhelming smell of onion and pepper add your eggs and tomatoes. While all the fry magic is going down, use a griddle or some type of flat skillet to heat your tortillas up 3 to 4 at the time. You want them slightly dark and soft enough to roll or fold over. As your tortillas are heating and you take them off the pan, crumble the queso fresco into the middle and add your scrambled treasure. Fold in half and get down with the get down.

I've been eating chilaquiles since i was like 5 ot 6 yrs.old. If u are worried about the spiciness, you can de-seed the jalepeno so that it doesn't burn at all. The tortillas don't have to be el milagro there just my favorite kind in the whole world. Another cool thing to do is fry a tortilla and then drop an egg on it once you flip for the last time, its called "huevos rancheros" sound pretty fuckin familiar? Its all poor food we eat to keep the wheels turning without breaking the bank. Ya'll be careful in the street, they always watching.

hit'em high

Well hello once again scrapians, its the man with the plan but not from pakistan. Today ladies and ladies men has been just another day at the salt mines. The best is yet to come as me and my one and only have got to get some eats and get down with the get down. The next thing that i must let you guys in on if you didn't know already, is that the man himself Jim Carrey is fuckin canadian! I mean what are the fuckin odds? The mask, ace ventura, truman! All backed by the man himself. Who wouldve thunk it? Then of course you have ol Billy bob Thornton who gets booed out of canada because he said "its all potatoes and no gravy." Now he's banned from the whole counrty, but get this shit, he was on tour with his band. His band? I didn't even know that fucker could play an instrument. The fucked up part about it is that he said it to a Dj on the radio because the cocksucker wasn't even doing the original bit about the music tour, all he wanted to do was beef with ol Billy bob about his movie career. (Ain't that bout a bitch) Anyway todays entry short as it may be, is still packed with all the essential nutrients that u need from the blogosphere. And of course, watch out for those bitch ass niggas.

El espanol

Hola, que tal? Como estan cabrones? Soy yo tu padre de otra madre, llevando me la a la calmada, y esperando mi comida porque tengo un chingo de hambre. Mi suprivisor esta buscando una chinga vien merisida, con su mamada de que no puede dejar me ir a fumar un cigaro. (segun que esta muy ocupado) Cuando llego a mi canton voy a cojer a mi vieja como si fuera el fin del mundo. Ya me hablo y me dijo que esta muy cachonda y ya tenemos 3 dias SIN cojer! Te majinas eso? Estar casado y no cojer al dia? Son mamadas! Y el telefono del descitorio no para de timbrar. Hasta en mis pesadillas escucho esa pinche cosa de la chingada. Y cada vez que lo contesto tengo que dicir "Muchas gracias por llamar al la Hilton de savannah DeSoto, como lo peudemos servirle?" Ya me enfado de la misma chingadera. Extrano mucho a los dias por de bajo del sol, sudado y soliado. Manos secos y quebrados de trabajaso. Y mi padre, dando me animo para seguirle y ganar me esa feria para mis billes que nunca paran de aumentarse. Mis mejores amigo del mundo, los a conocido en el campo, y en las bodegas donde los mas cabrones y chigones son los unicos que pueden aguantar esa forma de trabajo. Eso dias son unos de las cosas mas refinas en mi vida. Mi character fuerte como el luz y calor del sol, mi cuerpo maduro y acostumbrado como el arbol en la tierra. Nada en este mundo me a dado lo que mi padre y el trabajo de hombre me a dado. Hasta la proxima compitas.

Water Donkeys

The blog is totally awesome and we all know that. otherwise we wouldnt be doing it and yall wouldnt be reading it. We have made a whole year headed towards 2 with full steam running. where do we go next you may ask? well that answer is as simple as it is complex. the blog will go with us where ever we go. if we move to different cities we will have a dual-citizenship blog. if we get now cars the blog will come with us in our new vehicles and you will know because we will tell you. the blog will go with all of you as you head out into the day knowing just how cool those two cats in savannah are. you tell the people where you are that there are two kick ass dudes kickin it down here and we are doing in quite a manner. not too fancy a manner mind you just a good dude type manner. like how elvis would have done it. or micheal jackson when he was still the prince of pop and not the duke of weirdness. just look at those rabbit ears. i will say however that despite the fact that i dont like dancing all to much i would very much like to reenact the thriller video. at least once before i die at least. another thing i really want to do is fight in a little model city. like godzilla kinda. those arent too crazy right? and they are definitely doable. all i need is a bunch of makeup and some one who is willing to let me destroy their slowly crafted very intricate city. well gang like forrest gump says that all i have to say about that so until next time watch your back and see ya later alligator.

The Panhandle

Alright fellow bloggeteers, a little ten day lapse, but nikia's back in it to win it. Me and the wifey went to the over populated and extremely fun none the less sunshine state. For the first time i got to gamble in a real live casino. Slot machines baccarat tables, blackjack, the whole nine yards. The casino was at the Hardrock cafe and casino hotel. We ate at a restaurant that 7 restaurants inside it. There was a mongolian grill, an italian joint, a sushi tavern with a whole lot of that tasty homemade wasabi, a steak house, a fresh seafood restaurant, a mexican eatery (with the real deal holyfield), and of course and american restaurant. You get to sit and the far edges of this massive room and all the restaurants are in a half circle almost 30 feet away. They had some skyy screwdrivers for the free, and glasses of quality champagne. The casino was off the chain, there was nothing but hot attendants in there "uniforms" and motherfuckers smoking the place up to talk to. The machines are fuckin wall to wall homies. We played the lucky sevens and the ball roller. The sevens are just the classic spin and get 3 in a row. The ball roller was this cool one with a row of seven numbers and you can change them at any time, the balls roll across the screen with a number on each of them, for every number you match you get your bet back, my uncle who was there with us won like 400.00 bucks. I'm no gamblin man by any means so i just spent a good dub and rolled on in the car. The funnest shit was the bear. My grandmother in law (?) was having bear troubles the whole time we were there. They ate her trash and tore down her fence and fucked the neighbors yard up all the way around. Luckily we didn't have any run ins on a personal level. (no thank you). I did get some ice threads and my wifey astounded me with a new chain. Being as sharp as a tack that she is, she even got me my favorite , kind, a nice silver herring bone. (NICE*) Anyhow, keep ya knife in ya pocket and if you got a car lock it. Nikia J out.

Dual Action Cleanse

Well folks here we are again to talk about another ridiculous thing which shouldnt exist. yes its the dual action cleanse. for when you need to cleanse your colon and detoxify your life. its like that movie the road to wellsville where everyone does enemas all the time. its totally crazy. i know i for one dont want hot ass water being squirted up my ass. generally stuff comes out of it not goes up it. its just the wrong order. plus i think my colon is doing good. it still works that seems like a pretty good sign to me. when i used to do the night auditing thing at the shitty ass promenade i watched that infomercial for probably 30 minutes on day just for lack of better stuff on tv. and i know for a fact that the dual action guy is totally crazy. i challenge you to listen to what he says and see if it sounds right to you. plus he ruined a good name, someone else could have used that name. like one of those pert plus shampoos. you know, with the shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle. thats dual action and it cleanses. or those new soap things for the dish washer with two colors of liquid on top of the whiteness, thats double cleaning action. but anyhow i must be getting back to the business. until next time dont step on a crack or it will break your mothers back.

The Long Awaited Return

Alright gang im back. sorry it took so long but i have been real busy with life and all that kind of good stuff. so lets fill you in on some of the stuff. first off felix had kittens. 4 to be exact. they are already about 3 weeks old. we have two black and two tuxedo. they are already starting to run about the house with glee. toby loves them alot. he licks them all over. and they seem to like it. at work things have been starting to pick up so i am not able to keep up with my cnn as well. although i do know all about the octomom. isnt that jsut sad? what a dumb ass lady. she wanted a big family, and she got one. now she says it was a mistake. she should have realized that earlier, like with her 6 other kids 3 of which are all messed up and need medical stuff. anyhow up hers. we almost had snow here in savannah. it would have been cool. but we didnt get it, just a bunch of really cold really shitty weather. but now it is starting to warm up and by the end of the week it ought to be back into the 70's. that means summer is almost here and it will be beach time. so i need to get toby some ropes so as he can pull my cooler around for me. it will be very spiffy and i think he will enjoy helping. toby isnt selfish. mr jones got me a super sweet b-day present. thank you sir. also some really sweet x-mas gifts. we have yet to get ours for him and his lady but when the money is right the gifts will be plentiful. plentiful indeed. we may even have to find ourselves a tiny tim to say "and god bless us everyone". we will be accepting applications for the role in our comments area. please feel free to apply more than once. well gang i suppose thats enough for now. and never fear i shant be away from scrappys for so long ever again. until next time be easy on your peasy and dont become japanesy.

Everyday its Nikia's way

This blog ladies and gentlemen will be short sweet and to the point. Vengeance hath once again cast its warm smile upon the nigga you know as Nikia Jonez. This sort of thing only happens every once in a while, but PLEASE know this, I once heard somewhere that vengeance is not a straight line, or a curve, but a massacre of points intersecting and intertwining into once aother until he that is true to his aim stands alone and undefeated. With that, i must depart and deal with the shit storm. (And i aint talking umbrellas) Ya'll change you air filters regularly. Nikia J out.......

Manslaughter

Ok cadettes, i got news so i'm gonna tell it: I think that i'm on ferdinand's hit list. Like i walk in my house and he bails, so i go on about my nightly routine, a little beer, cigarette you know. Then i look and see that he has laced my indeed tasty newport with cyanide. At first i don't really think that much about it and proceed to take a fresh square out of my pack. When i go to open the microwave after heating up some of the lady's very tasty homemade lasagne, i see this wire sticking out of the side of our microwave and realize it was running to the light switch and was gonna zap me the second that i touched it. I starting adding 2 and 2 but the answer wasn't 4. I looked around and wondered if some crafty dirty ass ninja was trying to take a nigga out, but there was no way they would've slipped passed me like that. Mind still racing i began to think maybe i was just losing my fuckin cool and that maybe i should just go to bed. Then i saw the syringe, then the cat-nip. I knew immediatley what the fuck was going down in china town. I walked into the room and the whole gang was there, holiday, furio, kramer, but no ferdinand. I turn back towards the living room and found him "sleeping" in my chair. He gave me the crazy eye and simply began to go on about his business. I finally had to say something to his bitch ass, and all i said was nice try. I chilled for awhile longer and went to bed. When i woke up my vision was blurred and i was a little short of breath and there was the smell of plastic everywhere. All at once when i went to yawn my vision went super blurry and my breath seem to fill the room, i reached up to rub the sleep out of my eyes and get my mind right and what should i find but a plastic bag over my head. I had enough, i got up and found ferdinand sharpening his claws with a steel bastard file. He gave me the look, as did i, so i locked him in the closet and waited for his dt's to stop long enough to tell him he was gonna have to try a little harder to knock a nigga off the block that what he was. He just grinned his shit eating fox grin and went on about his business. So you heard it here first sports fans, if i happen to just go M.I.A. go the southside andfind that orange cool-aid motherfucker and give him the what's what. This has been a public service announcement paid for by dem niggas inc. ya'll stay fly, and floss on the reggie. N.j. out

You know you ghetto

(By Bishop Lamont)
U know u ghetto (don't be ashamed )
U ghettoU ghetto ( don't be ashamed )
U ghetto
U know
u ghetto
U know u ghetto when you got rats and roaches
With the fan in the window, front door wide open
U know u ghetto when u say "Ain't & Finna"
Change the channel with some pliers, got a hanger for a antenna
U know u ghetto eating chicken everyday
With color weave in your hair and you tricking for a pay
Gold teeth in your mouth
Out talking loud
And the car that you drive cost more than your house
U know u ghetto when your job is illegal
Live in the projects with furniture like rich people
U know u ghetto when you cook with lard
Only credit that you got is your food stamp card
U know u ghetto when you own section 8
Hair do's everyday, but you pay your bills late
Understand this song, get your jam on
And yo grandma whip you with whatever she get her hands on
U know u ghetto ( look at the way you walk)U ghetto ( c'mon, listen to how you talk)U ghetto ( look at the clothes you wear)U ghetto ( haa, look at that style of hair)U know u ghetto[Bishop]
U know u ghetto picking boogers and you flick 'em
And eat with your hands stead of washing 'em, you lick 'em
You don't know your daddy
And your hair nappy
People catch the Holy Ghost in church getting happy
U know u ghetto call the crib your house
Be at funerals screaming, fighting, then fall out
U know u ghetto selling clothes that you stole
And when you go out it's like a fashion show
U know u ghetto with a name like Shaniqua, Pookie, Red, and Peanut putting codes in your beeper
When you hear stuff, helicopter, city busSiren, trains, shots, straight out of the ice cream truck[chorus]
U know u ghetto only shop when there's a sale
Late everywhere you go with an excuse to tell
U know u ghetto when you pee outside
Catch bronchitis, get full and sleep tight
U know u ghetto when y'all stealing cable
Cussing and DJin on underground radio
Saying Yo' Mama jokes
Fighting on talk shows
Mattress against the wall
Ain't no frame, it's on the floor
U know u ghetto with dreads, plaits, and braidsWeave, colorful nails, afros, wraps, and waves
U ghetto, wont pay back money that you borrow
And wearing an outfit you gon' return tomorrow
U know u ghetto betting on a number
Using words like "Uhh-huh", "Naw", and "Uhh-uhh"
Stead of "Mom" you say "Ma", stead of "Dad" you say "Da"
You see nickel stores, bar-b-cue stands, and laundromats[chorus]
U know u ghetto punching ain't playing house right
Your kids bare foot playing outside
Eat food of the ground, say "God, bless the church"
Let your kids drink beer talking bout "It gives 'em worms"
U know u ghetto borrowing your friends clothes
Ran out of water supplies from people next door
U know u ghetto heat the house with the oven
And anybody famous from the hood your cousin
U know u ghetto cussing out your teacer
And when something happen your mama screaming "Lord Jesus!"
When you use street knowledge
Graduate from school and go to jail instead of college
U know u ghetto bar-b-cuein every holiday
Pizza man wont even deliver around your way
Where the gang hang out, cornerstore hang out
Mom's at the gas station begging for some change now

Indeed its the rub.

Well folks here we are again. This is the 299th blog her on the scrappys. who thought we would even get this far? not I says the cat. but we did and with authority we made it all the way through a topsy turvy 2008 and here we are now in a nice cooling 20090. what new wonders await us? aliens? i doubt it. nuclear bombs? maybe. birthday cakes? yes. and i know a certain someone who happens to have a birthday coming soon. its me. im getting pretty jazzed up about the 24th annual tommy day. every year the excitement builds and builds and ultimately i have to work or i get shitty real early and fall asleep on my couch before 8pm. but not this year. oh no. i am going to get extra sleep the day before and make sure to have my birthday off. my bday is a monday this year so i can even take advantage of some happy hour specials and get some cheap food. food is one of the festivals most important things. well gang i dont have anything else to tell about for now but later ill try to get a little more of the good stuff for you. until then be cool and stay easy

Down fo tha brown

Alright Alright cousins and cousinettes, its been a good minute since i got my blog on, so without any further prep talk for the delivery of the content of today's pearl of wisdom. I'm gonna hit ya'll with some straight up migo wisdom. Man do i love being brown, food, family, beer, we have awesome parties, i guess the only thing i really don't dig is the clothes that you may see the real mexicans wear, like the whole cowboy thing, with the boots (not to mention the ostrich, croc, or snake skin ones) and the hats and those huge gold and silver belt buckles. (No fucking way mane) Anyway, some of my favorites times in life have been when i gets to kick it with my dear old dads. Ya see dad is straight up mexican, big moustache, the boots the hats the long western jackets the whole motha fuckin nine yards. He drives big ass F-150's and other type trucks, and my uncle Pancho, severo, toche, joel, armando, and efrain. They all do it big in there trucks with the rims and the stickers and the little fringy thing that hangs from the top of the cab down to the sun visors like this. They butcher there dinner alot of times rigt in there own front yard and always manage to cook every last organ and use it in some type of tasty dish. Now the cool shit, my grandpa once cured a wart i had on my foot with an animal bone. (no joke) I showed it to him one day and the next morning he got me out of bed before the sun came up and took me out to the hay field and got me to hold still while he kicked around a bunch of dirt, he hit this deer jaw bone that was laying on its side with his foot and picked it up and walk over to me and "doctored" it sorta with the side that was laying on the ground. (it went away in like 2 days)-NO JOKE. My grandma, she was like a mountain woman, and she was at least 60 years old when i met her, she chopped wood and butchered animals and raised chickens, ut she didn't beleive in hot water. (?) She knew cool ass shit that i never even thought about. Like using ashes to clean metal. That shit was cool as fuck, if your grill or anything around the crib needs a good scrubbing try using dirt and ashes if soap fails miserably. My uncles knew all these cool things about chicks and beer. (yeah) Like how to make "micheladas" But i'm not gonna tell ya all the 411 on that. George Lopez has exposed too much in the world of the Pencas. Which while were on it i'll at least tell ya's what the deal is with that. See, in spanish we call each "buey, pata-rahada, essay, vato, pelado" shit like that. In english with the english inclined homies, we spit "penca" at each other because in english in means "branch" like we are each a branch of mexico. Moving right along. One of my aunt Angelica's (yeah i got 2) taught me how to give deep tissue massage and how to treat snake bite and bee stings with dirt spit and leaves. (gangsta) My uncle pancho taught me how to treat your vehicle, inside and out. This nigga puts a guayaba underneath his driver seat, and he has the best smelling ride i have ever rode EVER!!!!!!!! Now my dads, this nigga was mexican military and grew up poor in the deserts of mexico. I saw the ranch where he grew up and the room he was literally born in. (yeah nigga fuck a hospital) This nigga knows sht about cars that mechanics wont tell ya. He can lasso animals from far away with his rope trick shit. He can tie a knot that no man can escape. Me? I got a little of this and more from this side of te family. We kick it big when we all get together and make chicharones in our cazo and man if you haven't ever had that shit you are missing the fuck out. Not to mention carnitas and hand made home made gorditas and tortillas. Shit nigga im ungry i gotta go. Keep ya curtains closed Nikia out.

The number one most aggravating thing

Well gang once again it is unfortunately that time when the jack ass scad kids come back. and this i hate. i saw more people with two color hair and tight pants yesterday than i ever want to see. frankly i dont want to see any bu i suppose when being cool means looking like a jack ass ill let it go sometimes. but it was just too much. therefore when i get out of work today i will be making my "I hate SCAD kids" t-shirt and then taking the dog for a walk so i can show off my shirt. fuck those kids. anyhow thinking about this tends to infuriate me and i dont need that at work. there is plenty of that to go around already. so until next time i fucking hate some scaggots or scadniks or assholes. it all depends on what you want to call them.

Jimmie Verlin Glover

Well gals and gal pals, you know who it is and you know what i am here to do, so lets get it. First, christmas and new year have come to pass for 2008 making it a full flavor extra strength 2009. My christmas was lined in disaster as my good ol grandma died the day after. My grandma was sharp as a tac, she should have been a mathematician she could crunch numbers like a kid do candy. She hunted deer and raised chickens, and she never ever at all in any shape form or fashion what so ever forgot a date, i mean never, holidays, birthdays anniversaries she knew them all by heart. She only drove a dodge, she had a .38 revolver she kept by her bed at all times. She has given me more that i can even begin to explain in words. I saw her on thanksgiving to which it had been a year before then and i must express to you that i truly have come to understand what guilt is. On top of all of this she worked hard all her life, in plant nurseries, she drove a cab for a while too, then gramps taugt her how to be a carpenter. They painted and varnished and demo'ed and all the things you can possibly imagine that can be done to a home. She smoked cigarettes til the day she died, and let me tell you, i have already begun to steer clear of those tempting tasty newports. Its true, the death of the greatest person in my life struck fear in places that i thought were impossible to feel anything and have caused a chain of events to get off the nicotine and back on the tar free lung scene. Anyhow rep where and ya stay. Nikia jones out.

Still looking fine in 2009

Happy 2009 team. we made it through one more year. and everyday the not going to jail streak gets longer and longer. and we all hope it stays that way. so lets take a look back at 2008 and see what all happened. early in 2008 i got fired from the good old hiltony hilton. then i got a job at a japanese place and we all know how that went down(shitty) then i got the job at the promenade as a night auditor from 11pm to 7am(also shitty but not a restaurant) after that it was over to the sheraton which was awesome until the guy who hired me got fired and then the new boss was a cunt and she didnt like me. so they cut my hours severely and that brings us to the good old cambria. and thats where i am now. literally right now i am at work. this is what i do when i am here. well this and watch tv. not a whole lot more. lets see here what else happened in 2008? well we got toby the dog and we all love toby. this is what toby looked like when we first got him. he still isnt full grown yet but this is what we hope he will ultimately look like. although i wouldnt be to upset if he turned out like mans best friend. that movie was so scary when i was little. but anyway toby is awesome. what else happened in 08? one of my buds moved to chicago with his then girlfriend but now wife. two of my other buddies moved to new york city. different parts though as i understand. another of my buddies got some sweet job with osh kosh b'gosh and now he flies all over the world. no joke. i got my playstation 3. that was a big day. i still have it and it still works. one day i might get this special keyboard that goes with it and do a blog from home. but i dont know if i like the sound of that. i prefer to get paid while im doing my blog. it more like im getting paid to do it that way. it just gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. lets see here what else did i do in 2008. i went to casbah the moroccan place with the belly dancers. it was good. i had some sex. thats always nice. i read some magazines and some other blogs. i dont think i did anything all too wild. i guess you could say 2008 was a very mild year for this particular sandford. but never fear 2009 is here now and i make a vow right here and now that there will be more wildness in 2009. i might even figure out how to get the pictures off of my camera and put them on here so you all can see all the cool shit that i know about. but until then you will all have to miss out. alrighty well thats enough for today as i cant think of anything else to put down. which i am sure is obvious from the rambling nature of the blog. have a good year gang, and as always GO DAWGS. and be easy on your peasy or you may become japanesey