Testicular Tuesday

Well sportsfans, where do i begin???? First things first, all you non readers, you have each been placed on the black list. Better yet, you've all been blackballed to the fullest extent of my hate for your motherfucking asses. Moving right along, i ate a baby, then i barfed it up on the front desk of this shitty establishment. They called the man so i had to wizzax those haters with my gene splicing ray, i fucked around and forgot it was on "arachnid" so all the 5-o's got turned into frogs. The chatam "metro" police are looking for a wizard or warlock or some shit, just wait til they find that. I'm sure it'll be interesting. I plan on using this gun on all those who have and will placed on the list. I will take great pleasure in morphing you gawdy fucks into roaches and rollie-pollies, and rats. I'll feed the rat bastards to my snake and the shit faced roaches to my spider. The rollie -pollie douches will get jarred and left in the sum to rot away and then i will take the corpses and fertilize my aloe. For those of you appauled by my prevous statement i really didn't eat a baby. It was more like a baby sized sub, which i didn't barf up either, just the sight of some of thses pricks make me wanna do just that, barf, right in there faces. Projectile vomit at that. There's only one week left until i get the hell up outta this peice and man it will be glorious to do that. The people i have befriended here will be missed. Daiquan, Ivey, Geri, even the goddamn Shenkster!!!! For now that's all you get, tommorow ain;t really popping up on the radar either, so be cool, and pity tha fool. Nikia to the J out. (nigga)

My life got twist turned upside down

So the shit has officially hit the fan here at the sheraton in savannah, ga. yesterday we had no rooms that people could check into until after 10:30 in the pm and today we only had four housekeepers to clean the rooms so instead of attempting to do so they decided to just do what is called towel service. all the rooms got 2 sets of towels in a bag on their door. nothing happened inside their rooms at all. no bed making or sheet changing no picking up of dirty towels or trash. just nothing. and the icing on the cherry is that both nights i am here taking all the heat myself. well gang it is getting mighty hot and some poor yankee is going to get it if he cant keep his trap shut and complain to the right people. or at least just deal with with civility. what kind of 50 year old person bitches like a 4 year old about everything that happens. if you are that old then you should know that in this great thing we call life shit happens. if you watch forest gump they explain it all out. but other than that little bit of complaining not much to tell yall really. no good jokes or stories or fun times. but until next time just think about how good the next story will be. excellent is what i am thinking. but the question is other than myself of course, who should be the main character beside me. should it be chuck norris, steven seagal, jean claude vandam, or wilt chamberlain? you decide, its like one of those choose your own adventure books.

A fine sport

once again i have returned to the oh so sweet scrappys to bestow upon you, the scrappys faithful, the best of the best, the people on high, some knowledge about a particular sport which we all participate in. What could i possibly be talking about that people of all ages and races participate in knowingly and unknowingly? people watching of course. its is fun looking at all the hotties and notties out there. sometimes it is even more fun seeing all the ugos. and you can particiapte in this sport almost anywhere. in a restaurant you can watch the people walk by who are also looking in to see who is in there. at the beach you can watch the fat old men walk by as they stare at all the young girls like dirty old men. at the park you can watch the ladies walk by in there sun dresses who are trying hard not to make it look like they are staring at you but really are. at the skate rink you can skate in circles checking out all the people not skating who are watching those who are. at a sporting event you can look for the guy with no shirt, or the girl with no shirt, who is looking for anyone looking at them. in a car you can look at the people in the other cars that you pass who if you notice are also looking to see who is passing them.



now i wish to put something into letters for all to read. this is a joke which i tell on many occasions. most people say it isnt funny but i say it is. it is all about the ending to dont go down to the bottom first or it wont be nearly as funny as it should be. it you want feel free to send us your sandpaper sally faces. if thats possible. but without further ado the Sandpaper Sally Joke.



So it is the little boys birthday and he is going to be thirteen. a teenager. a man. so dad says to the little boy "today is your 13th birthday you are now a man and i want you to go and fulfill that manhood by getting your self laid" so he gives the little boy 500 dollars and sends him on his way. on his way out the door he says "you might not want do get it on with sandpaper sally though as you might not like it" and the little boy says " alrighty dad!" and dad says "make me proud son" so the little boy heads off knowing he is about to make his dad proud. two houses down the street is the local whore house so the little boy walks up the stairs and in the door to the podium where the lady takes your order. the little boy slaps his 500 bucks on the podium and says i want to have sex with a whore. to this the old lady gets a little flustered and says "well pardon me young man but i dont know about that. first off we dont have whores here we have ladies. secondly you look a little bit young to be in a place like this." so the little boy says " looky here i am 13 years old today and i have 500 dollars and my dad told me to come down here and have sex with one of you "ladies" and that is what i intend on doing" so the lady sighs and says" well i suppose we could take your money and you could go up with sandpaper sally" but the little boys remembers what his dad said and he tells her "well my dad said i might not like that" and to this she says back" well thats all there is for a young fellow like you none of the other girls will do it" so not wanting to disappoint his dad he agrees but says he is only paying $400. she agrees and tells him it is up the stairs, second door on the left. so up the stairs he goes to the second door on the left. a green one. he opens it up and there is sandpaper sally in all her splendor. so without much talking they start to go at it and much like her name suggests it is rough like sandpaper. about halfway through sandpaper sally says she has to go to the bathroom. when she returns the begin again only now it is smooth and juicy and wonderful. little boy busts his nuts within 5 minutes. after this they are laying there and she says "so that was your first time huh? any questions" and the little boy says" well i do have one question if you dont mind. when we first started it was horrible and rough but after you went to the bathroom it was slick and wonderful. what happened?" "well" says sandpaper "when i want into the bathroom i picked out all the scabs" isnt that funny? i always tell it like that but i hear tell that some folks like to say that she picked the scabs and let the pus run but i think its bad enough as is. well i am glad i could share that with yall so until next time remember to steer clear of sandpaper sally.

A True Story

So once when i was a kid, we lived in a tariler park, (me and mom, and my two littlest sisters) and we had free roam of the place, and m 3 cousins Tony Lupe and Momo lived just around the next two trailers. Well, one day Momo started some shit with this faggot ass dude that didn't really know any of us, and the beef was over this He-Man toy that the dude tried to steal from Momo. Later on during the day the four of us were chillin in the back of the park and we see this moron standing there with a chain. The chain was one of those you see on a swing set, this sucker starts spinning one end of the chain and then i see that the swing seat is still attached to the end he's spinning around. Now the seat is wooden and there is at least three nails in one end and I didn't know about the nails until it was far too late. Momo was standing to my left and I pointed out this tater head to him and we decide to get the hell outta Dodge. Only a little too late. As this fucker hears us plotting on vacating the spot he flings the fuckin board and chain at us and I push Momo out of the way and woke up in the hospital. When i open my peepers I'm staring at a bright ass light, and my nose is throbbing like a motherfucker. I reach up and feel this thing sticking out and it hurts like hell when i try to move it, and i see little blood bubbles popping when i look down cross-eyed. The doctor and my mom come from no where and tell me not to move, and that theirs a nail protruding from my snot locker. I wake up later and I;m sitting at the kitchen table and I've got a plate full of KFC and my nose feels a thousand times better. Yeah, that happened. The kicker, the very tip of the nail is supposed to be still buried deep within the delicate cartilage of the bridge of my nose. Sometimes, it fucks with the metal detector wands. But thats that for now ladies and ladies men. Ya'll swim for shore. Nikia Jones up and out. Holla.

Im wearing brown shoes and a black belt

Damn straight and fuck you if you think its wrong. it looks just fine to me. also i think that wearing stripes that go in different directions is cool. i dont care if others think it looks stupid. i think people who wear their hats to the side look dumb. and what about the people who dont bend the bill of their hat. they are stupid, how else do you expect to keep the sun from your eyes? dipshits. or the people with the very tight pants, thats just fucking stupid. and then you have the ridiculously baggy pants that make you walk funny just to keep them on. although i am strongly opposed to anyone saying they cant wear what the want and also i say fuck you to anyone who wants to make a law about how far down your pants can go. also real men dont wear pink, sissies do. and to all you sissies out there wearing pink shirts that actually say "real men wear pink", well you can just go to hell and die.

on a lighter note yesterday was big ray and darcy b-day. happy b-day everybody. and sometime last week was miguels i am told so a very merry belated birthday to you as well. and to everyone else happy unbirthday. what an awesome day my unbirthday is. next time it comes around i am going to do things different. there will be fanfare and a tickertape parade and the people who have to clean up all the tickertape wont have to. oh no our annoying mayor will have to and this guy. alright well i cant seem to find a picture that is big but if you look here. it is the jackass at the bottom. that guy is the biggest douche bag ever, just look at that shit eating grin. but the guy just above him, good stuff. many of our elected officials here in savannah are odd folks, one day i hope to be one. alright then guys that it. there will be no witty comment to sum up and surely no peasy for you today. just gonna quit typing and thats that.

Late Night T.V.

Good evening once again compadres, tonite we are discussing something which enrages me more than most things. Commercials late night talking about "regularity" and dirty vaginas. If i have to here that lady on the yogurt commercial talk about how bifidis regularis regulates her shitting i am going to go crazy. Why are they allowed to talk about how regularly they shit but we have a huge uproar when janet jackson has a nasty nip slip. i dont want either but there should be some sort of public uproar when the lady with the boobs from trading places starts talking about stuff coming out of her ass. similarly who ever wants to hear about rotten vags. it is just sick. and the commercials make it sound like the vaginas are so nasty that you can smell them through your clothes. that makes me gag and throw up a little in my mouth. fuck vagisil and those damn wipes that is just some nasty stuff. some things you just dont say out loud. and what about the fucking penis hardeners and lengtheners. after 2am on many channels it is a very long infomercial about how extenz makes that certain part of the male anatomy bigger, and the woman who goes around asking people is fugly. super fugly. on a side note i love the word fugly. its such a good combination--fucking and ugly. especially since it is so useful. i can think of many many thing that are fucking ugly and being able to just call them fugly makes my easy life that much easier. until next time yall watch out for the joes and remember to be careful with fireworks.

Don't:

Eat sushi on a buffet. Drive blind-folded. Use cheap laundry soap. Refuse food at a brown brotha's crib. Leave your car idling at the gas station. Grab an electric fence. Leave the stove on. Be such a cock goblin. Over cook your steaks. Burn candles while you sleep. Vaccum wet carpet. Piss the bed. Drink and drive. Tell your mom what you look for in a broad. Buy T.P. in bulk. Take your cell to a funeral, mass, or police station. Leave the trash in overnight. Leave the crib without brushing your teeth. Forget where you left the papers. Mix business and pleasure. Overlook the details. Overfill your transmission. Eat too much candy. Fry your eggs in oil. Leave the groceries in the kroger at the checkout. Leave your ATM card in the ATM. Leave the table first. Jump to conclusions. Drop your square/spliff in my car floorboard. Miss out on The Carter III. Play the stereo loud after 1 a.m. Let them see you sweat. Dis Young Jeezy. Call me no motha fuckin wetback. Change your number without hollerin at ya boy. Beleive what Bush says. Stare at the sun. Wake me up before 8 a.m. Turn my music down. Gag after the first shot of the night. Wear alot of neck jewelry. Pick yo boo boo's. Scream, fuckin yell. Leave the laundry in the washing machine. Fall asleep with gum in your mouth, or a wig on. Be the first to fall asleep or pass out at my parties. Eat McDonalds. Don't tell those the truth that can't handle it. Climb trees with no low branches. Mis pronounce a niggas name more than once. Scrub non-stick dishes with a scouring pad. Run without stretching. Try to make the police laugh at you unless its a for sure thing. Miss the chance to watch the god father series. Shoot me down. Look at the clock alot while you at work. Wait and see whats goin on, run too. Load your peice in front of your girl. Think twice. Dis-credit folks. Miss the next blog mother fuckers. Hate. This has been Nikia Jonez with some vital information for your every day life.

The Reblog

Good evening once again my fellow scrappy-ites and welcome to yet another blog by tommy. today we will be talking about one of the biggest fears of all bloggers with blogs that generally have no direction. the dreaded reblog, is when you blog about somethingt which has been previously blogged about. like today i was going to do a blog about the NOD but i think i already did. and this while a very intersting topic may have detered you from coming back in the future. therefore we must not do so. indeed there are many scarier things out there than the reblog but to bloggers they arent so scary in comparison. but let us examine some of tghe things that are out there that all you reggies look at. reggies are regular non bloggy people by the way. first things first5 lets get the creepity crawlies out of the way. spiders, snakes, cockroaches, maggots, dung beetles, vultures, turkey vultures, sharks, lions, tigers, and bears. those are all very scary and are things which you wanted want to be covered in. but what about combinations of them. like bears with tiger bodies or ants with vulture beaks, maybe penguins with rockets for wings and razor teeth. sure all those things are scary but you dont see them all to often. plus they are people, what kind of people are scary? people with missing teeth who smell of rotting flesh. women with adams apples. homeless people with long, long stories about their car that is just around the corner with no gas that you cant see because there is something in front of, or on top of it. vampires and murderers. guys with eye patches, you never can know what happened to the other eye. large groups of angry black youths or latinos. white people are generally not scary unless you happen to be brown in a small country town and outnumbered.

alrighty gang gotta hit the old dusty trail. but yall be easy and until next time just remember you dont gotta have money to do nothing, i dont have money and i dont do shit.

The Beetlejuice song

Hello and good evening once again. sorry its been so long gang but the new job has had me working hard with little time to give yall what it is that you need. today though i have something special for you. the beetlejuice song by harry belafonte. its really a badass song, just like this blog. i dont know how it pooped into my head, and its really not even in the movie until the end but somehow it became synonymous with the movie. for me it really Michael Keatons song. they should have played it in batman when he was batman. also he was the best batman ever. although the new guy isnt doing to bad either. although that may be in part due to the better writing. because as we all know when arnold and george clooney and faggy robin were in the picture it just blew nuts. but we all watched anyway because batman is the guy everyone likes. even if you dont like that kind of stuff you like batman. and if you dont agree then fuck you. and your mother too. but without further ado the beetlejuice song. just sing the music in your head as you sing it out loud. even if you are in the office sing it out loud. others will join, i promise.

Day-o, Day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home
Work all night on a drink a' rumDaylight come and me wan' go homeStack banana till the mornin' comeDaylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
A beautiful bunch a' ripe bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeHide the deadly black tarantulaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home Day-o, Day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home
Work all night on a drink a' rumDaylight come and me wan' go homeStack banana till the mornin' comeDaylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
A beautiful bunch a' ripe bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeHide the deadly black tarantulaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home

that was fuckin awesome. i hope yall enjoyed it and until next time remember my wise words. be easy on the peasy.

Ridin

How often do you get the chance to ride through a street thats covered in 4 to 5 feet of water in an F-150 with a V-8 5.0 engine and make it work in 13 minutes because the rest of the cars sit too low to drive through the flooded mess of the road. I had that new webbie CD full fuckin blast and the water flowing to the left and right. It was the shit. I even have a whole new respect for some of those goofy ass rednecks and the whole gigantic ass truck thing. I mean if your truck is bigger then the water can be higher, and deeper, and, well you get it ya know. There's even this cool ass saying from the chinese orient that goes "the more the water, the higher the boat." Classy, nikia digs them proverbs. But, moving right along, the coolest thing about the flooded out ass roads was that miraculous lack of slow ass mother fuckers lagging up the flow of traffic to the job. The coolest thing that happened while i was undergoing the challenge of crossing these flooded peices of the road, was hitting these dumbasses with a wave of water that were walking down the side of forsyth park. It was magically delicious. Other than that sportsfans, i gotta get my motha fuckin roll on and up outta here, first one big shout out to the gun man over at the sherraton doing it big, and holding it down. Ya'll say your prayers and dress in layers. Nikia jones out.

The bridges have been nashed

Hello and welcome to all. tonite is a special nite, as it is my last nite here at the promenade and with any luck my last all nighter ever. but as we all know its never a good idea to say never. but thats not we are here to talk about tonite. we arent even here to talk about the birth of a nation. tonite we are here to talk about a show that comes on twice each week day morning from 10 to 11 and then from 11 to noon. we like to call it nash bridges. its stars a man by the name of don johnson. he says sweet things all the time like "you better help us or you will be locked up forever" and he calls everyone bubba. his partner, joe, is cheech. its pretty annoying seeing cheech in stuff where he doesnt smoke jays the size of posters tubes, but i guess its no worse than seeing ice-t, who sang the cop killer song, playing the police. but dont get me wrong i love me some law and order. and the SVU although it is fucked up is awesome. i could watch the law and order marathons until my eye balls fall out. and when an episode comes on that i havent seen before, you had better shut it so i can hear and get out the way so i can see. as sad as it is to say, i need, nay NEED, my law and order. but we cant all be perfect. i suppose if my life long dream of being on COPS never happens, being on law and order would suffice. i could be the crazy psychopath who butchers people. but i would play guy walking by if it got me on there. talking about cops is there anything more ridiculous than bike cops in their bike shorts? i think not, well maybe horse cops. but before i go i would like you all to know what kind of cops are my favs. and that kind is these. hell yea

Tight to Death

Nikia Jonez can spit it and sound so gangsta, pourin up this liquor, so don't pull a wangtsa. We gone smoke, and we gone drank, this is how we do it pimpin, what'd you think. We eatin everyday cause the money just right, up in ya house til the early morning light. Fightin the man, and just killin time, so i peice together truth just write this ryhme. Making fun of crackheads, we call them ghost, watch em feind in the street, and then we laugh the most. Buying all the swishers at 3 a.m. so we can burn all night and start again. Never go to sleep cause there's too much going, wanna live like my lines, i just wanna keep flowing. I holler at my homie all the way downtown, show up at his crib get the do-do and get down. Chillin so hard that i can't even stand, watching for the police cause i ain't going to the can. Missing the streets where i first did my thang, wonderin if one day i could return again. Sittin in a haze waitin on the call, meetin niggas up in the middle of the mall. Just one more day in this life of mine, one more try just bust a ryhme. Nikia jones, is not your average cracker, not no kind of sucka, not no caking ass slacker. I'm trumptight, and i got few verses, chillin with Tupac in different universes. This is all, and it ain't no show and tell, I'm nikia jones nigga, if you hater go to hell.

Fuck that weak shit.

Do ya'll know some one who can't put his mack down? Can't even tell you who plays his favorite song? Yeah, i think we all do. Survival of the fittest is a theory that i not only find to hold more than water, i find to be a jewel of knowledge. You see, real niggas do real things, and weak niggas just wish that the things they've done were as real as a nigga could be with it. Now, have you ever seen ya homie get slapped down, or his girl embarrass him or try to punk him out in front of the crew? That's some weak shit. There's hardly a method to avoid these scenarios and most of the time you can find an easy out of the type of shit that can cause you a lack of strength. Now then, a nigga slashes your tires and you do nothing, that's weak, if a nigga cuts my tires up and shit, i may just go ahead and buy those new Michelin sv-tx's and pimp those bitches out with some of that armor-all. If you post-up that night and catch the nigga that tried you like a hoe, then by all means regulate and facilitate one gigantic ass beatin the likes of which have never been seen. That's some real nigga shit. I love beating a niggas ass for trying me like a hoe, there is very few things that are better. You ever see a nigga throw up all the liquor you been letting him drank, the liquor you like the most and paid an unreasonable price for? That's weak, but a real nigga who does it big, may end up copping you the liquor next time and you get to hurl it up in his bathroom the next time around. That's that nigga shit. I got a Japanese homie who likes to fuck with black people, one day my japenese homie pissed off this brotha i've been kicking it with for years and they got into it bad, that shit was weak. Nikia, with the brewskies firm in his hand managed to defuse the case with a drink off, only the loser had to detail the winners car. THAT is grade A certified nigga shit. My homie from G-ville Nick, is the master at that nigga shit. He's gotta stay on his grind alot to get them ends, but when a Git wants 5 for the dub, my nigga is too quick to fill it with sticks. That is the height of nigga shit to finest cut. Cause i mean come ya'll know niggas don't play. This concludes todays lesson on that weak shit. You heard it hear first, the best remedy for it is that nigga shit. Be easy ya'll, and don't be leaving the door unlocked. Shit could start going down around here. PEACE

Nikia Airlines

Welcome aboard flight 420 ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain Nikia Jonez speaking. The amenities for your flight will be distributed shortly. In the meantime please feel free to roam around the cabin, or to step into our champagne room and join the mile high club. There will be drinks and snacks in case the in flight blunt gives you cotton mouth or the munchies. Cologne, perfume and eye drops will be distributed as you vacate the plane. (We do have to keep the best in airlines services a secret or else everybody will try to get in on this) Now the bathroom is fully functional for those ladies who need to wash the smell of smoke off them or out of there hair. The hand towels are crushed velvet so please don't drop them in the garbage, just go ahead and flush them down the toilet. There's no children permitted aboard our air-line, but all the pregnant bitches feel free to lounge about in our parlor located at the rear of the plane, there will be a strictly organic buffet to follow once we are in the air. The t.v. located in the back of the seat in front of you does have pay-per-view as well as the playboy channel and internet connections for your PC. If you do feel the need to barf feel free to do it right into the aisle as they have been scotch guarded for your convenience. Other than that ladies and ladies men, enjoy your flight and don't worry about the seatbelt, we don't need those aboard flight 420.

The State of the Union

Howdy there gang, i know that all of you out there in cyberspace through the wires for the internet and the intranet, or maybe even the ethernet who knows what the difference is. but you have been in need of some tommy, and today that is just what you are going to get. and you're gonna get the whole thing so i hope you brought some lube of some sort. where have i been you saw, well no where really just chillin and maxin and relaxin you know how it goes down here in the beloved dirty. but it was time well spent doing nothing. also i went to a wedding and some other stuff, nothing to important. but what is important is that i know officially have myself a brand new job. and not another one of these bull shit over nighters, so congrats to me. anyhow today we are here to discuss the state of some other blogs and in effect the blogosphere is what i believe they call it. first off lets go ahead and say that the really good blogs are usually updated frequently so you have new stuff to look at everytime you get there and unfortunately for us the dont usually have the ultimate warrior. although i did notice while searching for those ultimate warrior photos that there were alot from blogs. maybe we are on the up and up. but we arnt here to tell people how good they are. no we are hear to poke fun at a safe distance and laugh and snicker at all the jackasses who are allowed to use computers. first off i would like to say that all of your blogs that are in other languages suck. sure norwegians are sexy as hell but come the fuck on, how can we americans read that? we only learn one language here and its english, sometimes we know a little spanish. here are some examples of this shitty type. pretty shitty huh? yea the one had some english, you wanna fight about it? and whats up with all the fucking blogs by people from malaysia and thailand and stuff, i thought they were supposed to be poor. why does that fucking old man keeping asking me to send $1.50 a day to poor children when obviously every little kid and old man in malaysia has a god damn computer. i dont even have a computer that works, i do this at the job. fuck those poor bastards. the next type of really shitty blog that really just burns my boots is the teenage girl ones where its almost like you are reading the script from clueless. i mean sometimes there is something funny in there but most of the time it just makes you want to bash your face in with something, i dont know what. and what ever happened to using real words. if anything we need to abbreviate talking typing is as easy as moving your fingers, and if you are too lazy for that then thats just sad. also i envy that kind of laziness, that is up there. but i digress, another type of blog that i hate that i never even go into is when you see words like " this blog is done in the name of jesus" or anything about how the lord guides them. those people i hope are reading this because i am about to impart some knowledge to you. god, if he is up there, doesnt care about your blog, he also doesnt care about alot of other things that you think he does. and also god is definitely a white guy. so thats the end of that argument.

now for a little bit of goodness in a cruel and unrelenting world, here are a couple of blogs that i generally do enjoy to check out. but i make no guarantees you will enjoy them. and i love the faces people make in jail. here are a few more crummy ones. and just to let yall know we love reading your comments and laughing when you think we are bigots. but its all in good fun, so we will keep typing and try to keep it interesting and yall keep coming back and commenting and voting on our polls. and now its time to go but just before i do these are my favorite blogs of my own accord. and now i bid you good day.