Nikia Airlines

Welcome aboard flight 420 ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain Nikia Jonez speaking. The amenities for your flight will be distributed shortly. In the meantime please feel free to roam around the cabin, or to step into our champagne room and join the mile high club. There will be drinks and snacks in case the in flight blunt gives you cotton mouth or the munchies. Cologne, perfume and eye drops will be distributed as you vacate the plane. (We do have to keep the best in airlines services a secret or else everybody will try to get in on this) Now the bathroom is fully functional for those ladies who need to wash the smell of smoke off them or out of there hair. The hand towels are crushed velvet so please don't drop them in the garbage, just go ahead and flush them down the toilet. There's no children permitted aboard our air-line, but all the pregnant bitches feel free to lounge about in our parlor located at the rear of the plane, there will be a strictly organic buffet to follow once we are in the air. The t.v. located in the back of the seat in front of you does have pay-per-view as well as the playboy channel and internet connections for your PC. If you do feel the need to barf feel free to do it right into the aisle as they have been scotch guarded for your convenience. Other than that ladies and ladies men, enjoy your flight and don't worry about the seatbelt, we don't need those aboard flight 420.