MEAT

Alright all you motherfuckers out there in computer land. Get off your asses and mail me a dollar. I gotta plan to get rich super fuckin quick, and all it takes is you, and a dollar. Start with a dollar bill, or 4 quarters, (nothing smaller due to the time it will take to count it all up), then ever so carefully wrap the dough, clams, bread, ducketts, semolians, benjamins, or green, (place your vernacular here) in a peice of white paper and send it to 11400 whitebluff road APT 188 savannah ga 31419. Now then, once that cash flow starts coming in there will be great chages made. First, i will start my own meat packing plant. Not like chicken and pork, oh no, we'll be packing that pastrami. I will travel all the way to Italy just to find the right paisan to hook it up and spice it just right. I wanna out sell the carnegie deli. We'll also have that black ass angus beef aged or just fresh out the slaughter houe, which i will own too. Our marketing stragety will consist of just delivering the meat straight to your home within 72 hours or waaaay less. (depends on how far away you live) The gun man will run te office(s) and i will run the slaughter and meat packing stuff. Just think all this from a dollar, from you to me and the investment will live on forever and ever. So get the fuck off your motherfucker slack asses and get to mailing the shit before i get real mad and send a dog turd wrapped in a bloody tampon to yo grandma's house. (this is some sincere shit a'll). Anway, ya'll fully cook your pork and fish, this has been a public service anouncement paid for by the party to put the grrrr in swinger!

The ho ass popo

Last night ladies and ladies men, i just so happen to be departing from my good ol pals pete's and i got pulled the fuck over by the sogin around the middle shittin ass copppers. These motherfuckers was trying to sink ya boy any way that they could. First, it was my seatbelt, then my address, then my wife, then it was the dates on my id and registration. The cock stain asks me about the night and how i'm feelin and why i'm out at 2am and if you know bout the fuzz, they keep you talking and try to ocuppy your mind so you can't cover your own ass be a lie or night. It was about this point when he fired up the question routine that i told him straight up that i was a half mexican motherfucker he caught up with at 2 in the moring hoopty ridin with his old lady and that whatever he say that i'm guilty of i was until it came time to the court room and they pull the cameras and check my info and its all good in and under the hood and he was left sittin there kinda stupid lookin so could i have my license back and go the fuck home so i can smoke one and chill out watching season 5 of the aqua teen hunger force. That didnt really work i am sad to say so he ran my girl's license and then my tags, and then kept asking and asking all this lame ass bullshit about nothing and then that cockgobblin dropped my shit on the ground and acted like i was supposed to get out and get it for his overweight ass. Just another ass head who soggy around the middle and got nothing better to do than fuck with a nigga at drop of a hat. (my bad ya'll i sorta hate the motha fuckin man) Its easier to laugh at the shitasses if it you don't end up like one when its all said and done.

The Beetlejuice song

Hello and good evening once again. sorry its been so long gang but the new job has had me working hard with little time to give yall what it is that you need. today though i have something special for you. the beetlejuice song by harry belafonte. its really a badass song, just like this blog. i dont know how it pooped into my head, and its really not even in the movie until the end but somehow it became synonymous with the movie. for me it really Michael Keatons song. they should have played it in batman when he was batman. also he was the best batman ever. although the new guy isnt doing to bad either. although that may be in part due to the better writing. because as we all know when arnold and george clooney and faggy robin were in the picture it just blew nuts. but we all watched anyway because batman is the guy everyone likes. even if you dont like that kind of stuff you like batman. and if you dont agree then fuck you. and your mother too. but without further ado the beetlejuice song. just sing the music in your head as you sing it out loud. even if you are in the office sing it out loud. others will join, i promise.

Day-o, Day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home
Work all night on a drink a' rumDaylight come and me wan' go homeStack banana till the mornin' comeDaylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
A beautiful bunch a' ripe bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeHide the deadly black tarantulaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home Day-o, Day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home
Work all night on a drink a' rumDaylight come and me wan' go homeStack banana till the mornin' comeDaylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
A beautiful bunch a' ripe bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeHide the deadly black tarantulaDaylight come and me wan' go home
It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go homeSix foot, seven foot, eight foot BUNCH!Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say day...Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go homeCome, Mister tally man, tally me bananaDaylight come and me wan' go home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go homeDay, me say day, me say day, me say dayMe say day, me say day-ay-ay-oDaylight come and me wan' go home

that was fuckin awesome. i hope yall enjoyed it and until next time remember my wise words. be easy on the peasy.

The Two Hundredth Post

What an honor has been bestowed upon me, the 200th post. We all knew it was coming, some of you may have doubted if it would have been this good of a ride but you knew it was coming. So to give this post the gloriousness it deserves we are going to talk about something that all of have but still want. Money. who doesnt want it? i know i do. i would take some right now. but why do we want it? the real reason is that it makes life easier. and people as a species like shit to be easy. we want stuff to be handed to us. sure many of you think you are badasses and living the sweet and easy life will turn you into a pansy, which it probably will. but you still yearn for it. if you had money you could buy that sweet car you always wanted and fix it up so it isnt just a nice looking car that runs shitty. you could buy all the materials to build the sweetest tree fort ever and because of your money you will have the time to build it. you could buy the pony you daddy never bought you when you were little. nearly everything can be attained with more money. of course there are some things which cant be bought, but those are things for deep minds and this post isnt about that. its about the absolute and ultimate financial situations and what one truly would do. i am sure, or least i hope, that most of you have seen office space. it is an awesome movie about shit that sucks and how you can deal with it. if you havent go get it and watch it now. hopefully you all remember the part where peter is sitting there asking lawrence, the neighbor, what he would do with one million dollars. and of course to my ever lasting glee he says" I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. " which of course would be sweet. although in certain situations that could be extremely terrible. but then after a bit more talking lawrence asks peter what he would do and he says that he would do nothing. just sit around all day and do nothing. then comes the best part. lawrence says "Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit." isnt that awesome. but thats the point we are trying to get at today. ultimatley the goal is to not HAVE to do anything. like if i was so rich all my bills were paid three months in advance i would probably relax and just watch tv for the first few months. but then you could go out and start blowing money on shit and on your friends and this is what brings the ultimate joy. making youself and others happy. and there you have it the ultimate of the ultimates. well gang i hope you learned something important about yourselves today and if you didnt then more power to you. until next time remeber that this is a Spice World and we are all just living in it. be easy on the peasy

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