To Y'all

Howdy there folks, long time no type then read. I am here today to do a great service. I wanted to express our extreme gratitude that you fine folks, over 200 of you, have clicked onto the blog for at least a second on accident or even better did a little reading of our fine literature. As i mentioned over 200 of you have been to scrappys. to be honest with you i never thought anyone would look at all. but nay, we have people from other countries we are so cool. we even have someone from mongolia. eat that big time bloggers. those big timers need to watch out anyhow. not for us though, heart disease. i read recently the two pro bloggers keeled over. i bet they were very greasy and stank. but anywho, thanks to yall for being with us. so far the most folks on the site at once is a whopping two, but with all of you looking and reading and enjoying. we are sure that you will inform your compadres thus doubling our current visit count and probably resulting in more consecutive readership. it has come to my attention however that the blogs which are most popular are the ones being constantly updated. we here at scrappys can make the solemn promise that we will never be those guys. We also will never get two matching nipple rings that each of us will wear one that has a chain connecting them. that will never happen. that would be a good thing for a bet though. having to attach your nipple ring chain to anothers all day. even for a week. you would have to poop together. terrible. but i digress. This is an ode to you all. you may remember the blogs in the past that we have done telling of the horrors that would befall the non readers as well as the people who hate the non-readers and why they hate them. lets turn it around now.

ahem-hem(thats the throat clearing noise) Because you read the blog people will love you where ever you go. Police will pull you over, but then realize who you are and let you go. Bums wont ask you for money anymore. You will receive less junk mail. Internet predators will not be able to find you, however carnivorous dinosaurs will still be able to. No pitbull that you ever own will turn on you. You estranged relatives will come back, unless you dont want them to, then they wont. Ed McMahon will bring a large check to your house and photo graph you with it. Then he will give you a regular size check that is actually useable. You will get to keep the novelty check but only because you read about what we say. Latinos all around the globe will offer you goods. Arabs will offer curry. You will receive one pair of gold teeth complete with your name in the grill. General Motors will invent a machine to take your essence and make a car out of it. It will be called the "You" (add you name there) You will receive a lifetime supply of staples or red clay. your choice. Every year on your birthday sexy maids(or butlers whatever you wish) will bring you b-fast in bed. plus the whole day a band of your choice will play theme music everywhere you go. at night they will take requests. White people will offer free square dancing lessons to you.
Now as far as people who appreciate you the list is long but i still have about 30 more minutes so lets get started. First of me and nikia would like to thank you for reading since we did all the hard work to begin with. Then our ladies would like to thank you for letting us release our urge to rant onto the internet. Our mothers thank you for nurturing our creative impulses. My boss thanks you for giving me something less time wasting than games to do. mr jones boss thanks you for giving him something to do other than talk to his co workers. the great state of georgia thanks you for giving us the confidence to continue on in our endeavor. thats all the thanks i guess. its hard thinking of different reasons for people to thank you, much easier to rip on the non readers. but dont you readers worry because i feel another non reader rant creeping up into my brain.
And now a couple of thanks from my self to some of the most important people i know of. First id like to thank the man who slaughtered the first cow for steaks. good lookin out. Also the woman who came up with the blowjob. maybe the best invention ever. and some people say its electricity or sliced bread, fuck that. next i would like to thank the man who came up with contacts, i hate my fucking glasses. i would like to thank the man who invented the transformers. so many of my first memories include those sweet robots from cybertron. I'd like to thank mr huffy for making my first bike. also mr hot wheels for making something so cool it could never be replaced. thanks to all my cool teachers who taught me the stuff that got me where i am now. thanks to dr bob for trying to help out with my college stuff. thanks to mrs watson for inviting me and will over that one time to eat with your husband and that other douche bag guy, also the red velvet cake was perfect even though you never made it before. lastly id like to thank my pops for being a good example of what can happen when you arent careful. in closing i just wanted to say have a good one and be careful out there.