Inventions

Howdy there gang im back again. it is now approaching 5 in the am here at the promenade and i only have two hours left before i dont have to come here again until friday night. well besides this meeting i have to go to this afternoon. anyways i ran out of stuff to look at and read on the internet and i was thinking about what i could do. and then i thought well i could write a blog but about what? i thought wouldnt it be nice to have an idea creator handy for days when i dont have stuff to write about and i dont feel like writing about the pain and suffering coming to the non readers for all their non reading. thus i started this blog about inventions. the first invention i would like to talk about is the idea come-up wither. basically it is about as big as a cigarette pack with a screen on one side and a big red button on the other. when you push this button it comes up with ideas. ideas for anything really, stuff to do outside, stuff to do inside, ways to pass the time at work, things to write about, games to play with your pets, ways to make your children behave more like your pets, and places to go. like if i wanted to find out what to do later today i would just think about later today and push the button. if i know me, and i think i do, the screen will probably read like this "go home sleep and then drink a couple beers with your buddies" i realize that sounds the opposite of what most people do but as a graveyard shift worker i am forced to be opposite. its like opposite all the time, except that words still mean the same thing. the next invention i would like is the opposite day translator and an official opposite day. that is really the problem with opposite days, you never can be too sure if you are in one or not. if you ask someone if its opposite day and it is they will say no, likewise if you ask them if it is and it isnt they will say no. thus we need an official opposite day. i vote for a warm day maybe sometime in june. there are no good holidays in june now so this would make up. after i typed that i did some research. flag day is in june-- very possibly the shittiest holiday ever but one that is rife with drinking and debauchery, thus it is good. the summer solstice happens in june-- i definitely like summer, down thisaway that means it gets too hot for the bugs so you dont have to worry about the gnats anymore. for those of you privileged enough not to have to deal with this god awful swarm this is what they look like in mascot form. ( here in savannah we have the worst ever minor league baseball team name) anyways back to my opposite day machine, once we establish an official day as opposite day-lets say its June 13-- the government will issue all of us my opposite day machine. it will help people who arent used to opposite days get used to saying the right stuff and deciphering what others are saying if you dont quite understand how opposite works. but then there are some words without clear opposites which this machine would take into account and categorize them and assign everything an opposite. this will eliminate the arguments which occur over what counts as the opposite of something else. thus easing the strain of international anger on the ecosystem for one year. another thing that might not need inventing but i would like to see is that taco from south park the pooped ice cream that would just make my day. especially if the ice cream was edible. id just follow it around until i got a scoop of chocolate chip cookie out of him. another invention i would like is the clap snap remote control. this is a remote for your tv that clicks the channel up when you clap and down when you snap. how cool would that be? but you would have to be careful not to do it in front of any pet parrots as they might could learn to change the channels making clicking sounds with there mouths. you can never trust a low down dirty parrot. also in a tribute to the kids in the hall i think that they should make that pill that gives crabs or the clap ( i dont recall which) to ex-girlfriends. why not this sounds like a good way for guys to get back at ex-girlfriends. we all now that ultimately women have the power. if you dont know about this get that movie called 40 days and 40 nights, its kinda shitty but not too shabby in the end. plus there is a bonus-hotties. last but not least i think we should all be given space suits. you never know what could happen. what if the world ends but we dont die. you will be wishing you had your space suit then. also i bet we could go pretty far underwater in a space suit and with that nice big window to see out of you could see even the fish that glow in the dark. also it would be much more intersecting watching bank robbery footage if they were in those big clunky space suits. then if there isnt any air they will be robbing in slow motion and the indian guy who works there will be pulling out his shotgun and shooting back in slow motion. i dont think it gets much more entertaining than that. alrighty then gang i have wasted enough of your time and certainly mine i must be off. however i wish to leave you some words of advice. this comes from my man josef stalin who had no worries or regrets and was all around a pretty crazy guy. he said " a single death is a tragedy, a million death is a statistic." that comes from one cold dude on one heck of a cold day. summer time will back later this week. be easy on the peasy yall

To the lunch lady

When i was in high school i played football and we had to go to camp in the summer time. at these camps in nearby santee we had some good times. we could go swimming in the lake or play shuffle board. but the best times were our joint lunches with the nearby arts and crafts camps for girls which were served to us by the lunchladies from heaven. they towered over us with their eyebrows dangling over our salisbury steaks and beans. the mustache hairs would gently grace your mashed potatoe and spaghetti with runny sauce. so todays blog is to them. i have compiled a nice set of photos of women who meet or exceed the standards set by these oh so impossible to attain lunch ladies. bless them. also i want to let you know its not as easy as you may think to find sweet pictures like this so some are not as qualified as others are. you ought to be able to tell.
sweet jesus that was fun. after i found the one with the krispy kreme girls i didnt want to look anymore. hope yall enjoyed it as much as i did. yall have fun now ya hear.

Cracka-lackin

Here we are once again, me, you, the blog, and this time the ol shenkster, up in here trying to get around me with the old one-two. ( It totally ain't workin either) Got me a blog brain cloud of questions i will bestow upon you, the reader. Why is it the light thats always green on your way home is red on the days that suck the most? How do people in jail get the goods? Why is there no tv channels that are always in 3-D? Like even commercials, that would make them a whole lot cooler. When will there be a video game where you make your own weapons? When will there be a president who enjoys silence as much as money? When will afro-man get an oscar? Why is there not a vehicle that just runs, no gas or water or battery? (Just goes, ya know what i mean?) When the fuck are we gonna legalize? When will our beaches get soda machines? (Specifically georgia beaches) When will they flavor dirt? Why would they flavor dirt? When will 20inch rims be considered a standard on new vehicles? When will there be an actual virtual reality game? Where will the aliens land? When can we put a leaf on the flag? When will keyboards work through telepathy? Does hooked on phonics really work? Is there a man in/on the moon? What kind of cheese is the moon made of? What is the likelyhood of the sword to make it's return? Who is the best James Bond? Why is master P on tv and not in the studio? (HootyHoo!) When can we live and let live? When is the best time to start breakfast? How do you keep the oil from scorching once the eye heats up? These questions may seem light or pointless, but when it all comes to a screeching halt, you may ask yourself some of the things that i have mentioned above, if not just stop reading now and go back to bed. The end. Nikia Jones out !!!!

Stupid internet

so then folks what i was going to have for you today was a sweet video but it wouldnt work how i wanted it to so no dice on that. however i do have good news i have days off coming soon. yes thats right sweet sweet time off the job. can you beat it? i think not. also i heard the new g i joe movie should be out this june. kick ass. not much else to say today though really. only 1 hour and 15 more before the end of this working day. then beers and sleep it is.

when i was little we used to watch that show lifestyles of the rich and famous. and it had that guy with the british accent. i always hoped that one day i would be on that show. i havent made it yet but let us take a look at how it would look if i was. first it would start with a plane ride as my island is an island. thats right the blue angels taxi folks back and forth i am so rich. as you come up to the island you can see my beautiful home and the nice blue water. you could shoot a fish from the plane with a spear gun that water is so clear. of course you are brought in on the limo that stays on the island, which is also the only car on the island. the car drives you right up to the front door which is flanked by one pool and one pond. after the initial awe wears off you are taken into the house. you notice right away there is no front hallway. it just goes straight into the kitchen which smells very good. like nutmeg with a hint of jalapeno. then onto the den. here we find all the stuff you would see on an episode of cribs big ass tv, surround sound, ps3, maybe some weird statues, the big comfy furniture. then onto the best part the back yard. out there we have it all. the yacht, the bi-plane, roller coaster, jungle gym, second pool, nice cabana with bar for drinking, basketball court, and another pond.

well gang that was fun and informative. yall just keep an eye out for me to be on cribs or i suppose if i am rich enough to have a house like that ill just bring back the lifestyles of the rich and famous. either way everyone can come and chill. heck we may even have an extra island or two to raffle off. so keep your ears to the ground and your eyes on the horizon. and never forget Sandford is the key in 2020.

A few of my favorite things

I just saw the commercial where the lady is saying some of here favorite things like that song from the sound of music and i thought it would be a good blog today if i told you good people a few of my favorite things down here in the dirty. I really like going to the beach and doing nothing. That has to be one of my most favoriteest things to do. hangin with my homies and my friends is excellent. i enjoy kittens. i like the fact the georgia and missouri are kind of the same shape. i like voltron and the defenders of the universe. i like Ralph S Mouse. I like seeing people get caught unawares. I think that captain planet was a good cartoon but the kid with the monkey was a sissy. the girl with the blond hair was the hottest. i like boobs, no two ways about it. i enjoy eightball and mjg tunes. beaker is my favorite muppet. brown is my favorite crayon. djibouti is my favorite country name. its like its asking a question- did you booty? i like the little homies. i liked the movie with bill cosby called leonard part 6 even though there was only one part. i enjoy jacked up cruisers. i enjoy beers in the shower. i enjoy our beloved dirty dirty. d I enjoy a nice cold budweiser after a long day, also after short days. the look on peoples face after they hear the sand paper sally joke is super sweet. well gang the time is running and i must be off. but dont worry i am sure there will be more to come. until then keep your bags in check and watch out for your bum. like the offspring said "when your in prison dont pick up the soap it is bad for you"

Send them to hell.

Have you ever had that awkward morning start? You wake up late and get up and get the day started but no matter what you do you feel as though your corn flakes have already been pissed in. Your can't bail, you gotta go to work, you wanna kill the shit out of somebody, and no matter what you do, you just have that edge where you wanna nuke a bunch of shit all at once. Luckily today is not one of those cases, today you're just gonna get sent straight to hell. I will start at the beginning, and i when i come to the end i will stop. Gracefully. First of all, those goddamn haters, i work hard for mine and i likes doing it big, haters don't really seem to have that notion of "this is what i've worked hard to do," type sensibility. It is for this reason The Zombified mrs. frizzle will be arriving to a haters house near you for pick up, cause you fuckin haters just got sent to hell. Then, there's the classic cry-baby, today, you loose-eye-lid squirters will be accompanying the haters on a long drive to the bottom of the deepest hell hole embedded well within hades. Then, there's those can't call them by there real names because Tom Cruise will send them to my house and try to bankrupt me and send me prison, or even make me try to kill myself, you all will be picked up and will be sent staight below where no one wants to go. My homeboy Brian here at the hiltony hilton would like to send those KKK fuckers straight to the pit for there ignorance and self loathing. Next, those motha fuckin Emo mother fuckers, I wish my goddamn grass was Emo so that it would cut itself. All you slacked jawed pussies get a kick in the crotch before boarding the medival school bus of deathly hell. There's one special fuck I gotta send straight to hell right now, Quentin M. Phillips of Vidalia Georgia, you get a full force karate chop to the throat before getting your death warrant issued for being the most fuck headed shit munchin panty waste to ever cross me and my path. All the following parties receive a full body skinning, and several forcably removed fingernails before embarking on there journey to hell, being sent to hell does not involve passing go or collecting 200 dollars.

Grilled, chilled and skilled.

Lets break it down to the ground home slices. First, read the blog on "noodles" if you don't he will come through the toilet and execute you face down in the bowl with his steel, and he does keep it handy. Grilled: to get stowed in the mouth, get a grill to cover the teeth, to spit 2.00 dollar words from a 7.00 mouth peice, may also include having a fact not to your liking directly yelled at you in a rude form. Chilled: Fully realxed, unengagable in social sutiations, just not giving a fuck, ex: sitting at your house watching tv and vegetating. Skilled: Never having to waste a single second of your precious pimp playing time, tasting the kool-aid, and always sipping the wine. To know what you know cause you know it. To be wise beyond your years in the ghetto, gangsta, and humble ways all the way around. Now you may wonder why the analyzation of the following words and my dwelling on them, the answer, this is what most of you need in the day to day grind, to be grilled, chilled, and skilled. If an example is required, just check this shit: If you awake to some one hating and regulating, grill' em, tell him he still a bitch no matter what he say and then stow him in his mouth. Next, have a happy veggie salad and breakfast, this way your good and chilled right at the beginning of your day. Now, you have to know what your skilled at before you can flex up and get down. But, whatever skizzillz you got, flaunt it at the height of the moment that they come into play. This way, all who bear witness to the might in there sight, they'll have no choice but to hit you with the props. This is Nikia to the hater erradicating J dipping the fuck up out this peice, i gotta eat. Ya'll be you and always tru. Holla........

Thats what im talking about

To Y'all

Howdy there folks, long time no type then read. I am here today to do a great service. I wanted to express our extreme gratitude that you fine folks, over 200 of you, have clicked onto the blog for at least a second on accident or even better did a little reading of our fine literature. As i mentioned over 200 of you have been to scrappys. to be honest with you i never thought anyone would look at all. but nay, we have people from other countries we are so cool. we even have someone from mongolia. eat that big time bloggers. those big timers need to watch out anyhow. not for us though, heart disease. i read recently the two pro bloggers keeled over. i bet they were very greasy and stank. but anywho, thanks to yall for being with us. so far the most folks on the site at once is a whopping two, but with all of you looking and reading and enjoying. we are sure that you will inform your compadres thus doubling our current visit count and probably resulting in more consecutive readership. it has come to my attention however that the blogs which are most popular are the ones being constantly updated. we here at scrappys can make the solemn promise that we will never be those guys. We also will never get two matching nipple rings that each of us will wear one that has a chain connecting them. that will never happen. that would be a good thing for a bet though. having to attach your nipple ring chain to anothers all day. even for a week. you would have to poop together. terrible. but i digress. This is an ode to you all. you may remember the blogs in the past that we have done telling of the horrors that would befall the non readers as well as the people who hate the non-readers and why they hate them. lets turn it around now.

ahem-hem(thats the throat clearing noise) Because you read the blog people will love you where ever you go. Police will pull you over, but then realize who you are and let you go. Bums wont ask you for money anymore. You will receive less junk mail. Internet predators will not be able to find you, however carnivorous dinosaurs will still be able to. No pitbull that you ever own will turn on you. You estranged relatives will come back, unless you dont want them to, then they wont. Ed McMahon will bring a large check to your house and photo graph you with it. Then he will give you a regular size check that is actually useable. You will get to keep the novelty check but only because you read about what we say. Latinos all around the globe will offer you goods. Arabs will offer curry. You will receive one pair of gold teeth complete with your name in the grill. General Motors will invent a machine to take your essence and make a car out of it. It will be called the "You" (add you name there) You will receive a lifetime supply of staples or red clay. your choice. Every year on your birthday sexy maids(or butlers whatever you wish) will bring you b-fast in bed. plus the whole day a band of your choice will play theme music everywhere you go. at night they will take requests. White people will offer free square dancing lessons to you.
Now as far as people who appreciate you the list is long but i still have about 30 more minutes so lets get started. First of me and nikia would like to thank you for reading since we did all the hard work to begin with. Then our ladies would like to thank you for letting us release our urge to rant onto the internet. Our mothers thank you for nurturing our creative impulses. My boss thanks you for giving me something less time wasting than games to do. mr jones boss thanks you for giving him something to do other than talk to his co workers. the great state of georgia thanks you for giving us the confidence to continue on in our endeavor. thats all the thanks i guess. its hard thinking of different reasons for people to thank you, much easier to rip on the non readers. but dont you readers worry because i feel another non reader rant creeping up into my brain.
And now a couple of thanks from my self to some of the most important people i know of. First id like to thank the man who slaughtered the first cow for steaks. good lookin out. Also the woman who came up with the blowjob. maybe the best invention ever. and some people say its electricity or sliced bread, fuck that. next i would like to thank the man who came up with contacts, i hate my fucking glasses. i would like to thank the man who invented the transformers. so many of my first memories include those sweet robots from cybertron. I'd like to thank mr huffy for making my first bike. also mr hot wheels for making something so cool it could never be replaced. thanks to all my cool teachers who taught me the stuff that got me where i am now. thanks to dr bob for trying to help out with my college stuff. thanks to mrs watson for inviting me and will over that one time to eat with your husband and that other douche bag guy, also the red velvet cake was perfect even though you never made it before. lastly id like to thank my pops for being a good example of what can happen when you arent careful. in closing i just wanted to say have a good one and be careful out there.

They Call Him "noodles"

This is my second attempt at making the blog happen today fellow followers of the blog. Shit up in this peice is just as suck ass as it can be. But i won't dwell on that, today's blog is about a fish named noodles. He wanted to take over the aquarium at the fish hatchery where he had the misfortune to be born. He had his steel fully loaded and was ready to die. He was on his way to hit a lick when it all went down like a plane crash. He was scoping out these homies who wasn't vibing with the way he rolled, which was always deep, half the school inhabiting his massive 800 gallon tank had his back. The homies were radiating that heat, and were willing to cross the line and bring themselves face to face with this world and the next. They made there attempt on the life of noodles. He did what any fish in his position would do and let'em fly. His baby momma at the house waiting for the next batch of there eggs to hatch while she cried thinking about noodles and the next time she saw him, fearing that it would be in the filter suction unit belly up with all the color drained from his long blue fins. However, Noodles had other plans, and getting taken out by some hoe-ass guppies wasn't in the works. His aim was true and his gun was on lock. He hit his lick, bringing in a nice lump sum of about 56,000 sand dollars. Not bad for a fish with no tank mates, just the love of his watery hood and the tetras and the picasomis's that knew what side there bread was buttered on. The next move was to the castle, where the water circulation was always at its best, and the light warmed the water the most. Noodles had never feared any other fish, there were no inhabitants of his tank that made him want to stay in or caused him any amount of distress. The only thing in the back of his mind was the "green phish" It eventually came for them all. He never ever brought it up to the other fish, a few of them had seen it before, but noodles was no fish stick, if they knew nothing of it, they couldn't get on its side and make it come for him. He'd been in the tank longer than the rest of them, and deep down he knew how they would react to knowing that something like the green phish would take them all away one day. He remembered how the tank had always been full to the brim with all sorts of fish and one by one the long tailed green phish with its strange mouth would swoop in and take some one away. The day was acoming and he knew it he just didn't know what to expect once it came for him. This has a been a look into the enigma, that is the mind of the man know as Nikia Jone$.

The NOD

Today is a special day here at scrappys. We are discussing the nod. If you dont know what the nod is it is sad but continue reading as this should be very informative. also if you dont know about the od your life is probably shitty and the knowledge of the nod will improve the quality of your life. The way the Nod works is exactly the way you think it does. Basically you just nod. but it isnt just a nod. it is an acknowledgment. also different people do different nods. for example you have the basic downward nod. this is used by most adult white men over the age of 30 and all men over the age of 50. (women dont do the nod) this nod is more of a hello, or a how do you do. more on the formal end of the nod spectrum. then you have the upward nod. this you might get from the younger men. it is more of a whats up, or a what up, if you will. The nod can be given or recieved at anytime and anyplace. during the day i bet i nod at at least 50 people. it is easier than talking most of the time and people know what i mean when i do it. when i had my truck i would get and sned nods to people in other trucks. when i drive my moms convertible i get nods from others in convertible. also people with hats generally nod to each other as the walk down the street. ON the other hand you must never let the nod be mistaken for a slow shake of the head.
This almost always means grave disappointment of sadness. For example if one of your friends pooped his pants in a line you would give him the slow shake. or if your mom came yelling after you in a small crowd you would give the slow shake. when you watch ben stiller movies and he makes you feel awkward enough that you dont want to watch anymore you might give the slow shake. When you get first place in a baked bean eating contest. When you grandmother farts in church very loudly and everyone knows it was her so they pretend it didnt happen. Example of when the slow shake isnt appropriate: When you get 1st place in a watermelon eating contest. When you escape the police and while hiding you find a hundred dollars. When you get a sweet job. When you go to the booby bar and all the girls give you free drinks. when you inherit a racecar that is actually speed racer and your life becomes one long galactic race through eternity. when you and your multiracial friends find a dinosaur egg and you hatch it and it becomes Denver the Last Dinosaur. Alrighty then folks after a few blogless days i think we came back strong here. Keep yours ears out for the next one from nikia. in closing i wish to ask a question which has bothered me for some time now but i have yet to puzzle out the answer. Why Dont You Ever See Baby Pigeons?

The People I Know

This poor bastard is my old buddy Nick. Nick is not the brightest bulb in the box nor is he the sharpest tool in the shed. One time nick compared a poem to eating cheetos. i thought this was the dumbest shit i ever heard and said just that. because our teacher didnt like me i was sent to the hallway for the rest of the day. little did i know that was to become my permanent seat for that class a week or two later. but this isnt about me and that bitch of a teacher. this is about a man who one time almost o. d.'ed on caffeine pills before a football game. this is a guy with feet so flat the archs were on the top of his feet which gave him these elfish looking toes. all of this plus his curly red hair and diminuitive size made him look just like a leprechaun. nick and i were demons on the defensive line and we would tear people up. then the thing with the caffeine pills happened and nick didnt get to play anymore. since graduating i have lost touch with the man. i have heard a few rumors of him living on peoples roofs and things of that nature. i wasnt going to blog twice today but in honor of my man, Nicholas Vestus Kenny, i just had too. so next time you see him in the street stop him and say somthing like "keep your chin up nick, its going to be ok" or " hey nick, looking good!". with any luck he will understand, but if i know him like i think i do he will just be very confused and ask what will be ok. welll yall its 5:30 in the am and i have to get ready to finish up here. i know yall wont work to hard but i feel like i should say it anyway. yall take it easy and dont work to hard. pizzle

Almost to the nice 150

Today as i blog i am jamming out the go ninja go song. it is fucking sweet. if i could have theme music everywhere i go everytime i stood up this song would come on. kinda of a little bit of motivation to keep on going and stand up all the way. mayeb even to go and do something bvig time. like fight the foot clan. anyway todays blog is about my man meatloaf. i dont know why i like him so much. maybe because he was bob with bitch tits or because he was in that movie with jack black and the pick of destiny. or maybe i just enjoy me some bat out of hell or that song i would do anything for love but i wont do that. mayeb its just the way his hair would be flowing in the wind ehen it was long in all his videos. i have got some days off coming as well gang. no big plans yet but no doubt it will go down. heck i may even drink some liquor. and next week i have friday and saturday off. i am living in the good stuff. like that money vault that scrooge mcduck would always go swimming in. also if you havent noticed i have picked up some skills in my blogging. now i can insert stuff to click and pictures. i am working on putting a video or two on here. but dont worry our blog wont become a blog full of crap from other blogs. oh no it will continiue on with its uninfluenced originiality. you may ask is it hard for us to be so original all the time? no it isnt. but it does hurt. for all of you folks out there who arent original you wouldnt know about the pain. i will attempt to describe the pain of letting your originalness flow out like a river. it hurts right behind the eyes and under the finger nails. not like pins or nails being driven into them but more like an ache from doing it too much or eating too much. finally before i rap this thing up i wish to tell oyu about my compadre david hasselhoff. if you go to youtube and look up his name you can see some of his music videos. not only does he sings all the crappy german songs but he sing secret agent man and hooked on a feeling. thats right hooka chaka hooke chaka hooka chaka. iiiiiiii iiiiii iiiii im hooked on the feeling, so high on believeing, that your in love with meeee

Brown Pride

What's poppin party people? This blog has been a long time coming, i started this particular one a fwe days ago (like 2 or 3) and it just hasn't been in the cards for me to finich until now! Brown Pride, lets take a few moments to analyze this conjointed phrase. Brown: Mexican, migo, latino, penca (penca means " branch of" in english, lots of brown folks call themselves penca as in we are all branches of mexico) beaner, or even mexican. Now the word Pride, which needs next to no explanation due to the fact we're all proud of something, or at least carry pride in something deep within our bososm(s). Now brown pride takes a whole new turn, it can come out of you at any given moment, especially if you're indulging yourself in alcohol and good ass penca music, when this happens you may here that loud high pitched yell you may hear it in music or from a penca thats near by indulging himself in the above mentioned items. Next is the ride, pencas love they goddamn ride, hence why you may see there ride and see that it is pimped out more in different ways then the classic paint and rim job. That's some hella-fied brown pride. I mean you've seen them, cars with too many stickers, lots of seat covers that look like fake leopard or worse. Brown Pride cousin, thats all it is. I guess along the way lots of pencas didn't hear about "tackiness" but if the colors match and it'll ride, it's fly all the same. Now the next chapter in our voyage on Brown Pride would definetly have to be the FOOD. Who can resist some classic mexican? Now I ain't talking bout no taco bell, or that stuff with the green peppers at the local Jalepeno's or even a "fine" cuisine type Mexican resturant. If you want that real deal mexica meal, go to one of those mexicans stores you see with the half decent walls and the old skool ice machine in the front, they got that shit and it's the best! Now let us not lose focus on the real deal here either, the food matters because we don't just let folks up in the kitchen when it comes to tamales (real homeade ones at that) or tacos de frijoles y nopales. If you have no idea what i am referring to, then beleive me when i say that you ain't had the good shit yet homie! The next thing, clothing and apparel, I know you had to have seen the classic penca look, boots (cowbot boots) and a big ass cowboy hat, jeans, and of course the belt with the over-sized belt buckle. Some of the pencas you see in this gear may also still have a mullet! (yeah i take that one on the chin) but that's what's good in the hood when it comes to being dressed up for any ocassion. In closing i guess some of all i have mentioned varies race to race, i myself use to sport all of the above mentioned dressing fiascos, and i love to eat, especially that real mexican. That shit is the shit. For now the time has come for me to burn one and drop a deuce. Ya'll know shakespeare said it first. "be true to thine ownself." Nikia Jones up outta this bitch. PEACE.

The internet attracts all kinds

So i was checking out some movies on the youtube today. i enjoy the ones with silly people in offices and the guys doing the thriller dance in that prison. but i was watching the dont cuss video from those cunts in the no cuss club. and i saw this other video about cussing. it was made by this guy who calls himself nobody. i looked at a couple of other videos then i decided he was just a cranky old man. then i realized you could click on his name and his personal page could come up. i was not expecting what came next. atomic bombs and all sorts of crazy shit. here is how you can get to it. i dont know what got into that old man or how he figured out how to use a computer, let alone a camera on top. i couldnt evern figure out how use everything on my computer let alone a camera and he doesnt just have a camera, he has a video camera. what in the hell. i think a young person set it up for him. if you look in the background there is stuff that leads me to believe he is in an old folks home. that is why i think he calls himself no one. also old folks are notoriously wary of internet spys. as they should be. anyhow i didnt have much to say today but i thought id let yall in on this particular internet crazy man. yall go slow and be easy. only three more days till a day off. good times

I FOUND IT

This is the story about how they are going to willingly put the planet at risk. I am not talking about throwing a whole shit load of bleach in the ocean or letting loose with a whole shit load of aerosol cans. No, they are going to hurtle atoms at each other. They even say they arent sure what might happen thats good, but they have some ideas as to what could happen that would be bad. Black holes? that would be bad. Anyhow on to less important to the world but more important to me stuff. I am feeling good today gang. i slept until 10 pm last night and i was divine. i must say if i could do it over again i would change nothing. i have been planning my matlock costume for halloween this year but because the show is so old sometimes it looks like he is wearing a gray suit and sometime it looks like a striped suit. also i want to be able to have the soundtrack playing the whole time, or until i shut it off, but i dont think i can get my hands on a boombox that is small enough to carry around all night while shitfacing. i dont know about you ,but as much as i want that theme music, i need my beer hand to be free. if you arent sure what he looks like you can click this and see. also just because i am bored here are pictures of both rocksteady and bebop. the picture of rocksteady looks like my old boss, isaiah a little bit. also in my hunt for those sweet illustrations i found some ninja turtles fan art. the pictures are all right. but it is the memories of the old tv show folks who you forgot about. like mondo gecko and ray fillet. those guys were cool. so here it is.
and just in case you wanted to see some of the rare toys i got them too. i had that gold robot although i cant remember him in the show. Alrighty gang all the big wigs who own this place are starting to awaken. i must go but check out the stuff we like. also be easy never sheezy.

Sweet F-ing Jesus

Look what a wonderful discovery i have made. Hell fuckin yea. that is lando calrissian. in the flesh. i bet his parents were nerds. this guy might be the coolest guy to ever be arrested. i didnt even look at the rest after this before putting it on the blog. i may even immortalize his face on the blog. i think i will. now we will never forget him. plus he looks like a white guy actor. lemme see if i can find his picture. similar dont you think? very mysterious. look at the noses and the eyes. that is what gives it away. also ifyou have ever seen the negotiator with samuel l, the white guy is in the movie. his name is stephen lee. no where near as cool as lando calrissian. as i am typing this up i am thinking about the word f-ing and i was thinking about that song from mary poppins that goes "i love to laugh" and then they laugh and float around. ( i accidentally spelled poppins as poopins when i was typing, good think i caught that but it was still funny so i thought i would let yall in on some of the bloopers we have around here at the office.) anyhow i was thinking that song would be equally sweet if it was called i love to f and then they went on from there. i am going to attempt to put something together so you can hear what it would sound like. gimme just a moment. Alrighty that was easy. Here is the song fixed up how i think it ought to be. i left the characters names who sing so you can imagine them doing so. albert is the old man who looks like benjamin franklin. bert is the young guy who mary wants to f. and mary is mary poppins.
Uncle Albert:
I love to f
Loud and long and clear
I love to f
It's getting worse ev'ry year

The more I f
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me
It's embarrassing!
The more I'm a merrier me!

Mary Poppins:
Some people f through their noses
Sounding something like this "Mmm..."
Some people f through their teeth goodness sake
Hissing and fizzing like snakes

Bert:
Some f too fast
Some only blast - ha!
Others, they twitter like birds
Then there's the kind
What can't make up their mind

Uncle Albert:
When things strike me as funny
I can't hide it inside
And squeak - as the squeakelers do
I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...
And a ha-ha-ha...too!

All:
We love to f
Loud and long and clear
We love to f
So ev'rybody can hear
The more you f
The more you fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more we're a merrier we!
that worded out well. it sounds dirty too. just what i was going for. especially where bert says some only blast. very classy. alrighty yall the sun is coming up so i must be off. yall be esay on the peasy and never hurt your kneesys.

Stupid Bastards

Before you read on prepare to be angered and confused at the stupidity that will abound you. look at this.
Isnt that ridiculous. that is the same people who made the god hates fags website. what is wrong with those people. i didnt think god hated anyone. isnt it he who made everyone how there are, be it gay or brown? i think so. i just have one nice short thing to say to the members of the WBC (Westboro Baptist Church) fuck yall. you guys are some intolerant cunts. if i had my way i would toilet paper all of your homes just to listen to you bitch about it the next day. well yall short blog today. those dang bigots have me all riled up

Watch your step kid, protect ya neck!!!!

Lets get right to it ya'll, if as of this moment you don't listen to the Wu Tang Clan you gotta get on that shit a.s.a.p. Them niggas is the schizz-nizzle-bam-dizzle! I have heard all sorts of tracks that the shaolin Wu-Tang Clan members have instilled into my ear hole, but the later old skool shit is the bomb-diggity!!!! The song Winter War(z) is by far one of the best i have heard so far. If you're a classic Tupac fan, stick to the internet because un loyal types are copping bread of the man after his death like copyright infringement don't exsist. I have always rolled deep with the Afroman though, his shit is the shit! I;m way partial to the Warren-G, and Nate Dogg, now Pastor Troy, that's another brother that can make you shudder. Music is the bomb man, i'd take my tunes over t.v. anyday of the week. (That's no joke ya'll) The harder music holds me at the old skool Slipknot, and Korn. Man Limp Bizkit too, I dig that old skool limp bizkit like a mother fucker, everyone should own significant other, that's an album you put on and justlet it play. If you've never heard of Fireball Ministry, they kick ass, mushroom head too, then there's Rob Zombie, fuckin hell, that mother fucker can wail. You gotta cop some of that Zombie, now if you like it old skool too, you gotta search out White Zombie, where it all began. The end of tonight's blog is afoot. Ya'll stay on the up and up and be excellent to each other, that's the only wat to survive the man as a whole people working as a central unit, they know our time is coming, and they're afraid. Nikia out like parachute pants. (PEACE)

Why wont they vote for him

my mom sent me this. Above the picture it says Why obama wont get the black vote. sweet

Oh no he didnt!!!

Yes they did. its called godhatesfags.com these people are crazy. this was the bestt picture i found after looking for about two minutes. it was so good i had to immediately post it in case yall miss it while perusing the website of justice.

Technology?

What's good in the hood today ya'll? I'm not so sure myself either, but i do know that technology is the slightest bit odd in many ways. I have this theory about the development of technology on the whole. You see, it seems to me that all the technological advances are more mind numbing than indulging to the senses. We'll begin with the wide wonderful world of cell phones, i have one, and you probably do as well, but why the typing with the thumbs? I mean sure text messages are convenient, but now every last cell phone comes equipped with texting capabilities. Why? I mean we don't all text, some of us may even think that tyoing with the thumbs is some far fetched shit to be doing while driving, I mean it's a fucking phone and i gotta get to work just call my ass and quit bullshitting like a motherfucker. Then there's the television, now some shit on t.v. is just fuckin crazy, but they had to tip the scale with that tivo shit. I mean if you can't catch you shit on t.v. and you record it, that's tight to death, but to rewind your show while it's live to see something over and over again, what the hell is that? I mean now you can record it to dvd, or buy that shizznit on dvd, or get the box set if its a show, that's some fuck up repugnant shit. Me and my old lady we got tons of tapes of the simpsons (for me), and spongebob (for boo), and it is the bomb diggity to pop one in and indulge the senses while chillaxing like a mofo. Buit if you "tivo" it, it's only yours til the time save expires. The tapes though, they mine til the tape pops. (Hells to the yeah) The next thing is that goofy ass ear peice shit. It looks like your telling me that you wanna meet me tommorow at nine, and you think that my ass is sexy, when you on the fone with some hoe. (fo sho) That is some of the most idiotic shit on the face of the earth. If you gonna talk on the phone, talk on the phone, not the rest of us, i ain't really into what you got to say to yo aunt or girl, but i can't help but notice when you look like you talking to the invisible man. That's all for now cowpolks. My potatoe skins is getting cold and shit. But not to fear, there will be more, oh yes, much much more. Nikia Jones, signing out, and still cooler than a polar bear's toe nails son. (WHAT!!!!!!!!)

That Nigga shit

Well, fellow loyal readers, i blogged yesterday and it got lost or something i gues, i will reiderate later on though. Today we gone talk about that nigga shit. See i've noticed how much of an uproar it causes when people drop that word. I don't mean any certain type of people, just people in general. I am a frequent user of this word, all of my freinds are, and all of there families and relatives do too. In the lower regions of the ghetto where i got alot of nigga shit type experience, we only referr to each as niggas, cause they my niggas, and i'm they nigga, so it works out perfectly. I totally see why folks get all in an uproar and freak the fuck out about it, but at the same time, it doesn't always mean some fucked up repugnant shit about some one's ethnic backround. When you hang with you dogs, that is "Doing Only Gangsta Shit" that's that nigga shit. When you drop a duece in the backyard cause ya ma may have locked ya out or you can't do that at some one else's spot, that is nigga shit 4 tha real. Now when you address some one as "nigga" this is obviously more than an aquaintance or a person you have met fot the first time, this is probably an esteemed colleage of yours or even your best motha fuckin freind. The point is this word has been given so much power and is such a delightful way to get the small talk and hand shakes and freindly hellos right the fuck outta the way. Me, personally i feel that lots of shallow thinking and people way out of touch witht he ride or die soldier within have caused this word to be a thing of negativism, and puts it at the height of hypocrisy. All in all cadets, we strive hard here at scrappys to allow nigga shit to flow freely and without limitations. The next time you roll past the ghetto all nervous and shit, keep in mind the above information. You will be wise to the streets in no time at all. That's not to say that the reader(YOU) may not already be down like four flat tires, with no spare and the bumper got jacked. Ya'll breath deep and read aloud. nikia to the motha fuckin J signing off (for now)...........

Just a few hints

Hello there my peeps. today is a big day here at the blog. not only is it sunday but i have a very special blog for you. it has all of my hints on life and stuff that i have learned along the way.
my first hint is one that most of you know but i have noticed that lots of folks still dont even try to use this hint. when you go to apply for a job, if you wear a hat with a weed leaf on it you wont get hired. if you apply for a job and you are drunk when you do so you wont get hired. if you smell like a homeless person you wont get hired. and here in savannah, ga if you say you dont go to scad you chances of getting hired triple. why is that, you scaddies are asking? because we hate you.
hint #2 if your wear tight pants people will be able to see your johnson. this also means they can see how small it is. it also means your balls are getting squeezed so tight that you might never have babies. or you could end up like hank hill with a nearul urethra(something like that).
hint #3 no one likes people who smell like hippies. when i say this it doesnt mean we wont talk to you, what it means is that everytime you come around people will avoid you hoping you start talking to someone else first. sorry but its true. you would do better to go to africa where they wouldnt notice you stink over the million other problems that they have.
hint # 4 if you know you are good at something play up your strengths. i have noticed that alot of bastards nowadays play up the fact that they are pansies. dont do that . show everyone that you are awesome at blowing spit bubbles or squirting water from your eyes. sure lots of people will think you are weird but i guarantee you will always have a friend in me. i cant get enough of that shit. also if you arent good at something rather than just never doing it so as not to be embarrassed go and do it at home. i believe it is called practice, and we all know what practice makes(perfect).
hint # 5 dont be an ass. if you are make sure you already have friends so that you will have someone to hang out with. but you must be careful because if you are too big of an ass your friends wont hang out with you.
hint #6 never challenge anyone to ro-sham-beau. even if you think you can win. it isnt worth it. if you dont believe me call up to my old school and ask the 50 people who say me go doing whining and grabbing my sore balls and penis. they will tell you it isnt graceful and certainly not macho. i didnt even get laid, all i got was sore nuts and a free drink at a party where i was drinking for free. this one is important so i will say it again. dont play ro-sham-beau. EVER. but if you do get it on camera and send it to us. we will totally put it on the blog.
hint # 7 masturbating doesnt make you go blind. if it did my eyes would have fallen out by now and the hollows where my eyes were would have taken on a dead looking color. also they would probably stink.
hint # 8 smoking cigarettes doesnt stunt your growth. i have smoked cigs since 2nd grade and i am 6 foot 2 inches. i will say that i dont smoke much or often so that may have been a contributing factor. if you need a good reason not to smoke here is one. it will fucking kill you eventually. and if it doesnt you might get one of those throat boxes or maybe just have to have half of your lung removed. so dont worry about how tall you will be just worry about eventually dieing.
hint # 9 all mens schools are not cool. even if they say there are all girls schools in the area. what that really means is that there are all nasty dyke schools in the area. not the kind you want to see kiss but the kind where you think one is a man until they turn towards you in their wife beaters with no bra on and the sagging boobs just look at you. very frightening.
hint # 10 the greatest mystery in the world isnt how women work. it is figuring out what makes women happy when they are having one of those off days. and this isnt just when aunt flo is in town. everyone has bad moods, even me just much less. but when your lady is unhappy trying to make her happy will piss her off more if you arent careful. luckily i know my ladies secret. it is chocolate. this may or may not work for you, so be careful as you could end up in even more shit than before if you bring the wrong gift.
hint #11 if you invite someone to a baseball game and it isnt thirsty Thursday expect a no. baseball is no longer the american pastime. or maybe it is if that means we used to like it. for that matter if you invite anyone over the age of 19 somewhere and they dont have to do anything else that day but go to bed for the next day and there isnt a beer or two involved you should expect a no. that doesnt mean that everyone is an alcoholic. it just means that we need relaxing time. and now that we are old enough to buy beer or have friends to get it for us we are damn well going to have a couple of tallboys to chill out.
hint #12 giving money to bums is bad.
hint #13 if you have never eaten a food before that someone is offering you try it. as you get older you taste buds lose their powers so try new stuff while you can still taste it. the only bad thing that could happen is that you are allergic and die but that is going to happen anyway so dig in.
hint # 14 if you are religious it is cool. but no one wants to hear it. unless you are at your religious stuff with your other religioneers(people of the same religion- this one should be a word if it isnt.) most importantly never tell people you work with about it unless they ask. first off works sucks to begin with but then to have a debate while at work about some stuff that neither party can prove-come on.
hint # 15 always maintain contact with your friends. if you dont when you really need them they wont be there for you. this may sound sappy but it is very true.
hint # 16 always make sure your ass is covered. no one is going to do so. unless you still live with your parents they might. if you dont you will get fucked down the line, eventually. it may take some time but while you arent covering your ass someone else may notice and start things in motion to fuck you out of something because they know their ass is covered and not yours.
hint #17 relax. being stressed out all the time will kill you faster than anything else. if you think something is so important it cant wait and it doesnt involve someone dieing it probably can wait.
if you dont know how to relax find a lazy person. they can show you the way.
hint # 18 i know the meaning of life. since i am giving out my priceless hints i will give you this too. BEING HAPPY. if you arent happy change your life. that is all there is to it. if your job sucks find a new one then quit, but make sure you have a new better one first otherwise you will be less happy then before. if you dont have a better half as they say or you dont have friends. it might be because you are weird but more likely it is because you dont go and hang out. sure dance clubs are annoying but you dont have to dance. also if you are unpopular you might take up drinking. it may not sound good but drinking is very social. thats why keg partys are called keg parties. we arent there to hang out only. we want to drink and hang out. then when we are all drunk we talk about the other stuff we did when we were drunk. this is the stuff of memories. or even if you dont drink hang out with people who do. then the next day when everyone is talking about how billy got so drunk and pissed his pants you will be laughing to. hell you might even be the guy who immortalizes it because in your sobriety you brought a camera to document it. billy might be pissed at you for a little bit but everyone else will be happy.
well that was more than a few hints but at least one or two of them are good advice. i must be off to the rizzle(residence) know to get some sleep. my sun burn prevents me from walking fast so pray for a fast recovery.

A small extension

Yes that is what women say about asian dudes but thats not what we are talking about today. my home skillet miguel wrote on an excellent subject in his last blog. the kill mode. i wish to elaborate on situations which bring on this deadly and scientific mode. i will start with when you are fixing to take a shower and you turn on the water and just before you get in you put your hand in to see if its warm and it is cold. so you wait, and while you wait you start getting hot under the collar. then you try it again, still cold. now you have two options take a cold shower which will merely compound the killing cells which are by this point multiplying at an exponential rate, or you can just stay smell funky. this of course might not start upsetting you immediately however the look on the faces of people you know of even just walk by as they catch a whiff of your two days of b. o. will no doubt set off the buzzer in your brain that says your kill mode safety switch has been unswitched. another kill mode scenario that particularly sets me off is when you are in the car and you are about to turn but you are waiting for a car to pass. however they are slowing and you cant tell because they are still coming at you. and then comes the chart topper, rather than passing you they turn onto the street that you are turning off of. this may sound not that bad but when you factor in the fact that cars come with blinkers and that fucking asswad didnt move one finger to very easily switch his on it blows the lid on the kill mode kettle. it makes you want to not turn as you were but to do a u turn. then chase down that fuck and rip out his blinker lever and throw it into their face shouting that they didnt need it anyhow. here is one that will steam your grits without using any water. when you go to a fast food place and you ask for something special and then you ask them to repeat it just to make sure you get what you want. then you pay and get your food. you dont look because they already assured you that you got what you wanted. then you go to eat your burger that shouldnt have something on it, lets say cheese. when you open it up there is cheese dripping from all sides and the bun is soggy with it. plus they didnt give you what you wanted on it and instead of a coke you get a diet coke. this will always break the containment center that holds in the kill mode assassins. if i was less lazy i would take that food back and go through the line again. when you get to the cashier open the burger and hit them in the face with that grimy ass cheese and then proceed to the next window. tell them they gave you diet instead of regular and hurl your open cup at them. then ill say fuck you you punk asses or something to that affect and speed off. another thing that will peel the paint off of the kill mode car is when you are at the job and people ask you to do something that isnt your job and they expect you to do it. this is ultimately much worse when it is a customer than when it is a co worker. with all the death bandits screeching in your brain you just have to look at them and say you will try to help. it doesnt even matter if it is something that is easy. the point is that it isnt your job. if it was your job they would pay you for it and it would have been told to you when you started your job.
anyhow fuzzy came back and we are all happy. i dont gotta work monday and tuesday this week and then after that friday and saturday will be my days off. rock on. in closing today i wish to impart so knowledge unto you. dont piss of a whole shit load of third graders otherwise they will hatch a plot to chop you up with butcher knives and then they will tie up your dismembered body parts to weights and sink them into a river or lake. that all for now so as always keep on keepin on and remember if i wouldnt do it you shouldnt and if i would you might not should anyway.

Kill Mode

Well, its half past two in the morning, i've done alot of chillin, and now is just me and corner gas. Tommorow, lots of sleep and a good dose of napping, maybe i'll hit up the gun man and check out what the beat is on hall street. I got some cold ones left and i even got to have few shortly after work, not to mention a quick trip to the garden of eden, and i got off early the day before my only day off to sweeten the deal. The rest is history. But don't think that this be the end, we should look into the thing i have adorned with the title "kill mode". If somebody eats your left overs from your favorite spot to eat, that sudden rush of blood to the cranium and the urge to find a blunt object to cause a hole in the side of a mofo's head, yeah that's kill mode. You wake up shower down and get out to find no towels, all of a sudden you want to slap a fool and the burning sensation of mureder creeps up into your gourd, you've entered the mind set of the kill mode. Yes it's true, buried deep within us all is this thing that can be unleashed and cause a wave of mass destruction the likes of which can be unmeasruable. Kill mode can for and against you, but you sees a cat about to act a fool, just vacate asap. For now thats all the power in the hour, nikia signing off for now, ya'll stay up.

Sweet Sweet Fuzz

Last night at about 3:15 am i got a call from the lady. All the cats had escaped through the kitchen window. Luckily otis and felix were quickly found however poor fuzzy is still on the lamb. normally fuzzy wouldnt even want to go outside. her fatness demands food to frequently to run off in such a fashion. especially now that we have the nice big house. when i get outta here i am going back to check out the old house just in case. they always say look where you just moved from when you lose a pet after moving. i just dont think fuzzy is smart enough to get back. if anything someone said in there "oooh-its-a-kitty-cat" voice here kitty kitty and i am sure fuzzy ran right up for some loving. if that is what happened those folks better hope i dont find out or else. or else what you say? well ill fuck them up big time. poop on the porch. pee in the gas tank. ill toilet paper there house in used toilet paper. i will shave there heads in the dark and dye there skin black if they are white. if black i will bleach them but it is my experience thus far in my life that black folks dont really like cats to much. but if so i will bleach them and dye there palms and the soles of their feet. i they be jewish i will break their jew noses and steal their jew gold. if it is the irish i will drink all their whiskey and then pull a braveheart on them. thats where you lock them in the building and burn it down like in braveheart. if they are italian i will degrease their hair and let loose cock-a-roaches (thats how al pacino says it) in their italian restaurants. if they are asian i will take their mothers out for a nice romantic meal and evening and then never call them again after i say i will. if they are fat guys ill sew their assholes shut and it they are skinny i will just break them like toothpicks. i will burn down their houses and bugger anyone who survives. then i will steal their cars pimp them out and then blow them up. i will take all the rope from their collective homes and make whips out of them. this whips will be named the whips of vengeance and fuzzy. with these whips i will hunt down there families and give each immediate member(mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers) 40 lashes. with the tears of these i will find the secondary families(cousins and aunts and uncles) and drown them in the tears of their bastard families. when i run out i will tie them to the ground and steal a steam roller. they will be tied in a line with feet near the heads and heads near the feet so if they were standing they would be on each others shoulders. then i would crank up my roller and start with the first persons feet. that when by the time i get up to their heads their insides will be like the toothpaste in the toothpaste tube and it will explode out onto the next person before they get the roll to. let that be a lesson to all those of you with dark thoughts in your brains about my kitties. i assure you it is in your best interest to just feed them and then bring them back unharmed. plus it will save me lots of time from hunting you and your kinfolk down. but dont think, even for a minute, that i will hesitate to erase you and yours. just like arnold did in eraser. or was he protecting them? either way watch your asses. until fuzzy comes back or i get back to work tomorrow night yall keep on chillin like you dont like killin and rappin cause you made it out of the trappin

Choppin baby, we loves choppin

Lets get right down to brass tax guys and gals, last night was a close call of the bum kind. I walk out ot my ride and there's this dude just posted up checking shit out, when i get there what should happen but he attempt to put a beat down on my ass for some bread! But as you can see that is not the case, a little stick and move and one swift kick to the sternum and ya boy came out squeaky motha fuckin clean! He did give me a nasty set of scratches on my neck and a badly bruised ear, but that cocksucker hated life this mornig when he woke up! The most fucked up part was there was a 5-o right there and he came and talked to me about it instead of chasing that fuckin poge! The scad security suv were the ones who tried to mack on him. Cops, what a waste. Moving right along, i got a major big mac attack coming on, and i can't wait to get the fuck outta the hilton. If i get outta this peice on time i gots to go chill with the gun man and unactivate the wonder powers and do some serious chilling, like popsicle chilling, or ice tray chillin, don't get it fucked up. Just in case you ain't know either, just because the sun is shining don't mean that the ice ain't slippery.((the shadow rules!!!!)) The closing portion of the blog today will be directed once again at those goddamn haters! I found a huge collection of those bastards today right here at the hilton, you see haters are an interesting breed in that they're sorta like a necessary evil. Without haters you couldn't rep yo block and mean it, you couldn't be brown and proud like myself, and you couldn't feel good about who you are or what you got becasue there lack of dismantlement would make it fall through. Now when you can chop a hater of at the knee caps, you gots to do it cool baby. There's nothing better than gripping the anti-hate spray and letting it loose all up in there grill. (MMMMmmmm grill) ((hunger)) Anti hate spray comes in a variety of forms, from your exhaust on your car that runs and has all your favorite shit in it to listen to, then there's yo crib where you live and you pay yo rent and bills, with your fridge full of your favorite eats, and your living room with your favorite chair or chill spot. That is the most potent form of anti hater spray. So that's it for now, and if your wanting more, just wait for those magical chocolate packages!

Good Times?

After I saw the movie Big with tom hanks i always wanted to play that big ass piano with my feet. but i am not entirely sure that it truly exists. If it did certainly more people would be doing it and it would be more of an attraction. maybe not as amazing as Disneyland or Disneyworld but almost definitely better than South of the Border. And speaking of south of the border( of course when i say south of the border i am referring to the mexican(latin if you are picky) themed amusement park on 1-95 in between north and south carolina) who has ever been there. I have only been there once during the day time and it was only to pee and the only people i saw anywhere around were buying firecrackers. i have traveled past this place tons of time on the way to college and various relatives houses and i have never seen the big sombrero rides moving. just once i would like to see the sombrero doom drop plummet with little kids screaming. then do relax them they give them water with montezumas revenge. although i can say that thanks to south of the border there is a little bit of excitement along that stretch of 95. they have all their crazy billboards with stuff that moves and silly mexican jokes on them. if you dont know what i am speaking of please get in your car now and go and see it.
on a bit of a different tangent we got all moved in today and are very pleased about it. without the aid of my comrade the N to the J we wouldnt have been able to do it. too bad yall couldnt see us teetering on top of this wobbly dumpster taking these dresser out that weigh probably 150 lbs. it was tough but with a dual powers and wonder twins activated, me in the form of the Chilly Arctic Wind and miguel in the shape of 2 baboons, non colored asses, we took that business down to the ground like the rock when he wants to know if you can smell what he is cooking. i for one would like to know but if thats how you have to find out i dont want to know. welp folks it has been fun but as i have said on previous occasions and will probably say in the future be easy on the peasy and watch out for all the neezys. also if your a non reader watch your ass because we sent you all april fools day gifts and you will like them. on a side note if you get the brownies eat them immediately as the chocolate will stop working with too much exposure to the elements.

Sweeter than a Swisher

Well yous guys, it nikia to the J back with that flavor you can savor. Today is pretty motha fuckin good. Yesterday i helped my good comrade with the big move and that's just the way it had to be, especially with a tight ass pad like that. I got a few bucks left over to get me some good grub. Hopefully tonight i will be doing some serious chillaxing to my satisfaction. Not to mention that i FINALLY got laid after 4 long days of nothing, not even porn. (ya know how it is) I may need to get rid of our new found weenie freind, that crazy hoe lost her mind this morning, i walk in get the leash and go to put it on her and the next thing i know she bites me and pisses a blue streak on one of our good blankets, don't think i'm some cruel bastard or anything, i just don't like a nasty mean ol motherfucker for a pet, especially not no fuckin weenie dog ya dig? Then the shenkster just delivered the best beverage (except that yager or a good cold one) ever in the world, a cherry sprite!!!! You fuckers are missing out if you are scratching your heads wondering where to accumulate the sacred cherry sprite, all you needs is a sprite, a little handful of those marichino cherries, and of course some of that ice, mix it, drink it, the go change your shorts! Overall the time has come for me to get on with the getting on and do my thang. Ya;ll be easy and they can't feel ya, just remember that you can only do you man. Nikia Jones signing the fuck off!!!!!!!!

Non-triflin type chilling

TRIFLING, this is never a pretty thing. Lots of people are guilty of this particular thing, to involve yourself in a matter that concerns you not and then complicate it when non-sense and padantictness of your own invention is the worst way of trifling. Now, one who is in the lane in which the trifin type be riding need not put there blinker on, or slow at the sight of an accident because the will simply trifle the whole thing up. The body may not even be in sight but they saw someone who looked like your cousin in the front and it scared them, so you should call your cousin and make sure they ok, but the catch is they knew your good ol cousin is away and won't answer the cell and now you freaked out because some foolish hoe-ass dumb fuck has invloved himself in your matters and cause a world of shit to unfurl. There is a very special way to thwart these "triflers" and it is truly a beautiful thing. First give them the scoop on some fake shit on a hard pipe hitting mofo you know from around the way. Then let them know of the trifler and there non peace loving ways (yeah folks on the pipe do enjoy peace) and the game is set, as soon as the trifler makes there way around the bend dropping f-bombs and half guesses and half truths and mostly lies, the pipe hitting mofo will make his move, and beleive me, when a hard up pipe hitting broke behind killer from the streets gets to get one over on some one like a high and mighty triflin type, they take extra time to soften them and then tear them down in their own special way. The rest will just fall into place. The bst part will be if the trifler finally learns, if not you can just keep setting them up little by little when ever your affairs become entangled in there shit can of lies. This has been a public service anouncement by Nikia to the Motha fuckin J.