They call me Magilla

Yes indeed it is true some of my friends do call me magilla, but this blog isnt about that. this is about what old people could be used for so as they dont just weigh down the system. first things first lets talk about how they weight down the system. first they walk slow and drive slow, this just plain slows stuff down and that is not good. also they are argumentative, once again makes stuff slow and very irritating. old people forget stuff alot, this makes them just a pain in the ass. also old folks smell, no one likes a smelly old guys. similarly they like moth balls , which also stink. their teeth fall out at the most inconvenient times. they need glasses and walkers and oxygen tanks, way too much equipment.
now for what they could do to be useful, i like walmarts idea first off. greeting is easy and out of the way. i think they should take it one step further though. they ought to be greeting door stops. just prop them out there in front of the door and let them greet away. if you want you can stuff her afghan up under the door so as to help keep it shut. another use would be knitting for the homeless. one of tyhe uses me and my chum b.h. have thought about since we were youngins was that maybe they could be turned into glue or wood chips, something to help people out for all the inconveniences of the past. the old lady hair could be used to make dolphin safe nets and old mans ear hair could be the cure to bronchitis and the key to finding out what the gall bladder really does.
now i wish to congratulate nikia on his fine amount of knocks to the head. i cant claim many specific knocks to the head but i have had my share of dangerous times, let us review them now shall we? when i was in 2nd grade i was outside at night and we were playing hide and seek. as i was getting up to run i banged my head on this sign. i didnt realize but when i went inside i had an inch and a half long gash on my forehead. 16 stitches. my dog was outside one time playing when this mean dog came up and started fighting with him. without thinking i jumped in to save my dog. i got bit up. three deep cuts into my arm and plenty of nasty scratches on my hands. one time i was riding my bike through the woods near my house. i guess i stopped paying attention because the next thing i knew i ran into a tree. that tree had a hive of bees in it that chased my back to my house. i got between 10 and 15 stings. three on one hand two of which were on the same knuckle. another i was riding my bike, as i came upon this tree that was too low i ducked under it. as i did this i smacked my teeth on this bar on my bike. broke two teeth in the front. very painful. another time i was grabbing at a ball as another kid was kicking it. he kicked my in the mouth, rebreaking those teeth. when i played football there were a few dooseys. most of which were unexciting just me at my6 little time being crushed by huge guys. the worst time of all was my senior year. i was coming around the corner, and i was grinning because i was fixin to make the tackle, when this fullback who is crouched down launches himself head first into my penis and balls. i went down and had to limp to the sideline. i stayed out till we went out about 10 minutes recovering. another time i was untangling myself from the grip of this fat ass guard when all of a sudden the tackle sandwiches me giving me a nasty concussion. i could taste blood for about three hours after that. one day after i had just sprayed a whole shit load of the shower cleaner in the shower i was fixin to get into the shower and shower. as soon as i put my foot on the floor it slipped out from under me going to the left as i fell into the door frame and floor on the right. broke one bone in my foot and couldnt get up for 15 minutes, that one doesnt sound like much but let me tell you it hurt like a bitch. i have shut my finger in many a door, everyone knows how much that hurts. now for some painful ball storys. in high school i had to change the way i sit because of this. when you sit down in a desk you put your butt in first then twist so your legs are under the desk. i have balls which hang and when i would turn they would get caught between the desk chair and my leg causing intense pain. then when you cry out everyone thinks your an idiot for hurting yourself sit down. you must be careful when you sit. i already told my football and nut pain story. when i was in college i engaged in much stupid behavior. one of my favorite things was to get drunk and challenge people to ro sham beau. this is the game where you kick someone in the nuts and if they dont fall they get to kick you back. my trick was that i would always explain the rules and then i would say and you can go first. this generally scares people and then they dont want to play. however my buddy mark, whom had been asked countless times, finally took me up on it. luckily i was so drunk i dont remember. the worst part was that for about a week after mark would always apologize when he saw me. i never knew why so eventually i asked him what he was sorry for. this is what he told me. he said that he had got sick of being asked only to say no, so this time he said yes. i was apparently very excited and got right into my ro sham beau stance. he then kicked me. i went straight to deck holding my bits and pieces and moaning. all in all it was a good game and i will never ever play again. well thanks for stopping by and stay classy out there. until next time this is muddy waters signing off