Short yet oh so sweet.

There are many things in this world which may be considered short yet sweet. up until today the spring forward daylight savings was not one of them for me. because as we all now spring forward means one hour less sleep. unless you sleep in the day time. instead of an hour less sleep i got an hour less work, of course i realize ill have to work an hour more in the fall but i am going to try to avoid that like the plague and annoying little snot nosed kids. this time i was lucky. now lets talk about some other times i was lucky. one time i found 50 bucks in my buddys back yard. that was pretty lucky. one time me and B.H. were walkin down tybee fixing to go home and we found some money on the ground. it was like 100 bucks. well we spent that shit like people who spend money real fast. we went and got sno cones and then we went and did that relaxing thing. and we listened to cheeba cheeba by tone loc. he was a great guy. anyhow back to times i got lucky. one time i was driving my old ladies friends raider back to college and i ran out of gas like a mile from school. unfortunately i was on my way to take my first french test of the year. and that wasnt because we hadnt had any yet, i had just slept through the first two. luckily old willie the janitor saw me and remembered how nice i was and gave me a lift. i made it so class on time and got an a on my test. that just goes to prove that always being on time doesnt make you smart. another time i woke up and i was 10 minutes late to class, so i sprinted across campus to u.s. history for our first test. i made it into class huffing and puffing and i was allowed to stay. about 2 weeks later the same thing happened and once i again i sprinted across the campus to make it sort of on time. but this time when i got there i was told i could just go back to bed as i was being given a withdraw fail. i tried to explain that i was from georgia and i couldnt help it but that excuse apparently only works with girls and yankees. fuckin yankees. well i guess that was an unlucky story. i dont believe i have told my story about my friend ripping open his taint yet, have i? well i will tell it again anyway. and for those of you who dont know what a taint is( and taint is the correct scientific term as far as i am concerned) this little diddy will help you remember. it is called the taint because it aint your balls and it aint your ass, or if you are a girl substitute vag or puss, and hatchet wound for balls, or whatever you call your snatch. before i tell the story, because it isnt very long, i will give you the wikipedia thing to it and some synonyms for the word taint. the taint is also known as the durf, grundel, perineum, bonch, choad, choda, the tween, gooch, bridge, the chin rest, nifkin, the abc (ass ball connector). unfortunately as abundant as the internet is i could not find a long list of names for the taint like i did with that thing about the poll. but with that said i would like to say that the abc, may now be my favorite name for it. alrighty so back to my taint ripping story. so we were all out drinking of course, i believe we had been at a hall crawl, when we decided to go back to the dorms and have a little powwow. i sit on the couch and my friend starts to get into his bed. however we are in dorms so the beds are lofted and you have to use your desk chair to get up in it. now my friend, who shall remain nameless, isnt the most graceful especially after multiple drinks, and he is teetering on this chair trying to get into his bed. then it happens, he loses his grip and slip down. his taint lands right on the top corner of his chair, ripping it open. he screamed really loud and before you know it he has figured out that his taint is ripped and i am on the phone to the hospital. but nothing too bad happened, no balls lost or anything like that. so despite 14 stitches to his taint he was okay. alrighty gang i must be off it is 6:45 am and time for me to get some drinks in me. live long and live large you readers, and suck some donkey nuts you non readers