The List from Craig

Good morning scientists and sciencettes. it is a wonderful day in the neighborhood today. no hoodlums coming into the office and what not. my co worker was solicited for sex for though. she was told that he had some money if she wanted to have a good time. like the smart lady she is she refused. but thats not what we are talking about today. no, we will be talking about craigs list. first off i would like to say it is awesome. i enjoy looking at all the stuff on the free part and cant control my mind from wanting these other peoples crap. our list here in savannah is full of stuff from our fair city but also from the surrounding villages and trailer parks. you can tell because a lot of the furniture and things are set out in the yard in front of broken down cars and what not. but as i always say free is free and that fucking awesome. after i pay the car and accrue some additional funds i fully intend to buy myself a nice entertainment center off the list. and there are some nice one to be certain. hell once i get my camera in proper order and figure out how to get the picture out of it i will definitely be selling some of my own personal crap. for example i have a playstation 2 but because i have anger issues and my game frustrates i smashed all my controllers. yes it is counterproductive and wasteful but my guy didnt catch the ball when i told him to and i lost. is there anything more aggravating? very possibly but we here in savannah dont have the worries you other suckers have to live with. its the swamp gas that makes out lives nicer. but lets get back to my crap that i will sell you for a substantial amount of money. i have an extra set of dressers, it has no back but they sit up against the wall and you cant tell. also i have a box of clothes that my dear, crazy aunt kathy sent me from columbia. or maybe guatemala, one of those spanish speakers down yonder. i dont know where she gets them from since she runs an ice cream shop but she is forever sending massive boxes northward. its almost like an elaborate plan to smuggle illegals but all we get are ugly clothes from the 60s and anything else she can buy for a nickel in her south american paradise. i am also willing to part with my bike from when i was little. the front reflector is busted from when i drove it into a post and there is blood on it from when i smashed my face on the handle bars and broke my teeth, but it also has a nice little licence plate on the back that says thomas in blue reflective color. another plus is that its black so that people wont see your children riding at night. it makes for more effective sneak attacks that way. also i have an official panty raiding ladder. it has never been used but i dubbed it the panty raid ladder way back when, and then when i got old enough to go on a raid i realized that i would probably go to jail for breaking into a locked dorm full of women and stealing there panties. its a good idea on the surface but since people first started doing the panty raid the world has become a much more dangerous place. also on sale is one garden gnome. he is cursed but makes the weeds grow like nobodys business. it like a gag gift but you dont give it to people so they know they have it. you just put it in someones lawn who takes pride in it and my garden gremlin grows the weeds faster than they can cut them down. it really is a good find. finally the last thing i am going to be selling will be an idea. it will be a really good idea. one that could make you a fortune or make you the happiest person out there. what the idea is will depend on the day of purchase as my brilliance is in constant motion and always evolving. so if you need one or all of my items just send me the directions for getting my pictures from inside my camera and things will be going down around here faster than a monkey in a beat off contest. well gang thats the old sandford smarts for one day. until next time keep your pants up high and your hat down low and there will be no problems with this guy here.

p.s. i just found this and it made me laugh for 5 solid minutes. fucking ponchos. one fucking green spot.