The 300

Today is about yall. you are the 300. thats right today we finally reached that mystical number. there have been more than 300 people seeing this that you are seeing. over 300 people have had their minds warped by the twisted writings of us. 300 people are now permanently scared because of those damn krispy kreme girls. you poor 300, there will be no government subsidy check for you. for you there will merely be eternal awesomeness bestowed upon your soul. what you choose to do with that awesomeness is up to you. you could grind it into a powder and smoke it with your favorite brands of smokes. you could liquefy it and mix it with your favorite liquor. you could also liquefy it and then put it into your humidifier so that your room becomes infused with awesomeness. maybe you will bake it into a nice pie of slather it onto some delicious pork chops. (i would just like to take a moment here to point out that my computer recognizes the word awesomeness as a real word, righteous) the most commonly used recipe for your awesomeness is magic shell. yes that is what makes it so damn good. the problem with this is the illegal awesomeness trade that happens in western africa and southern asia where thousands of people are harvested for there awesomeness each year and left not awesome. sometimes they even take their shoes and make them work in sweaty shops. thats not a typo. i am talking about places that are so sweaty the walls sweat. ( i was looking for a sweaty fat guy but i hope this will suffice) another thing about your awesomeness is that others will covet it for its unique nature. your awesomeness will possess a scrappy quality that will make you a cult icon much like the coneheads. you could become a one hit wonder- you could even be the next vanilla ice, mc hammer, maurice clarett, or even like one of us. sure we arent like the rest of them exactly but if you break it down we are similar. first off i love parachute pants and if i had the go ninja go song on my ipod it would be the only one i would ever listen to(i just wish they had made it longer like that one song by the sugar hill gang). and thirdly i used to play the old football. as for my comrade i sure that he agrees with some of that stuff too. i mean who doesnt wear parachute pants. in my vision of the future everything is like demolition man but we all wear parachute pants and there is toilet paper. alrighty then gang hang onto your newfound awesomeness with all your might and remember that now that you have it you will have to be constantly and vigilantly guarding it. so long yall.