The Disgrace

There i was, in my lucky boxers, in my lucky tie, just shaved with my lucky razor, and just got through slapping hands with the gun man himself, i watch a little, assist the guests a little, then it all went down like a plane crash. This chick shows up asks my name and says hey to gina, she turns to me with this plastic fake behind smile and informs me that i have no job at her hotel. I will not hit a female at all, in any shape form or fashion what so ever, but this bitch ass hoe-face pirate hooker had me wanting to bend the rules, i couldn't even think straight. The thought to just spit in her eye crossed my mind, but in the end i just dipped the fuck out and headed back to the hiltony hilton. It felt like having diarrhea walking back in there and asking for my old job back but hey, i got a wife in college and apartment rent to pay up, what's a nigga to do???? So here i am once again trying to stay on the up and up and still ready to do it big. On the funnier side of things and how they always seem to work themselves out, ford idler pulleys fuckin suck balls, who ever thought of making them out of plastic never saw getting stuck in the middle of a one horse town with no parts place as an obstacle because of this fabrication error. This particular experience did lead me to the conclusion that loyal companion logan mackeveli is a straight ride or die soldier. He was on this little road trip of mine when the shit hit the fan, he got to chase goats and defend himself like a pro against a red nose pit that my dads got. He acted a little tired towards the end of the trip but he never pussed out or acted like he was gonna hide his head in the sand because he didn't know where he was or what was going on around him. The best thing is that now i gotta real tight ass shin dig planned with my homies over in pembroke, in spanish we call it a tamalada. Which just means a gathering of folks who are scarfing down tamales. REAL tamales at that. For now sportsfans that the gist of the blog today. Ya'll be cool and keep and extra light. Nikia mothafuckin Jonez up out.

The internet: Powerful Stuff

today is was browsing the internet when i found this ridiculous picture. how did this guy even come up with this shit. it reminds me of the swingers magazines we had at the home run video. those poor sad people putting pictures of their small penises and massive asses in a magazine just hoping that someone will be looking through and say "damn i really need that in me" or "damn i really need to get in that". but hope is what keeps us going. one guy we saw changed his picture every month but always had the mullet and sunglasses on. then you have the people who dont want it to be known that they are in there so they will black out their eyes or their faces. oh well, i suppose everyone needs to get some every now and again. as for me i am still getting on the regular and i must admit it keeps me in shape. i sure as hell dont do anything else that could be considered exercise.

A most heinous act

Well folks the unexpected happened and my compadre mr jones was turned back from the sheraton just as he turned his back on the hilton. i would give yall the details but things on my end are a bit hazy. from what i understand miguel came in and was doing just fine then the gm amanda saw him and flipped her shit. but if i know anything mr jones will be back on his feet in no time probably making more money than before. and when that time comes i can only hope for a blog on this most heinous of ordeals. this is worse than the custody battle over anna nicole smiths money, or whether or not to put an asterisk on barry bonds record breaking homerun, or the unspeakable acts done to toby the rabbit. even more undeniably horrible as nails on a chalk board or the sound of your teeth breaking.(that last one is very bad and it is permanently embedded in my head,. very unpleasant if youve never had the pleasure of hearing it) but other than that short little update on our lives down here in the dirty i havent got much to tell yall. there will be some pictures of toby the dog on here as soon as i figure out how to get them from camera to computer. stupid technology.

What in the shit is going on?

Howdy there folks today is a day for football. it is almost time for some real football. i have been thinking on it and i am god damn ready. i even fanagled a few sundays and saturdays off just to watch it in the privacy of my own home. yes its sad and i know it but i dont care. so lets get down to the real business because some stuff has been going down and i for one and sick of that shit. first off what the hell is going on with brett favre. now he is a jet after all the bitching and moaning between him and the packers. he should have just stayed retired and gone out near the top. now he is with the shitty shitty jets and he hasnt got a chance in hell. bad move. and then they just boot out pennington like he is a nobody. i mean sure he isnt awesome but kellen clemens is no prize pig either. i guess its just business and they arent trading people but cattle without thoughts or feelings. well they are men so they shouldnt have feelings like women. do you know whats hot? women playing football naked. i have seen in once before. while its not necessarily sexy it is hot. plus they are naked which is awesome. so in summation of this short but poignant blog football rules and brett favre messed up and women are hot when they are naked. although they are hot in clothes too.

Trial and Tribulation

Well folks it's finally come, my last mothafuckin day up in this piece. (thats the hilton) I got a garden salad with me and lots of laughs to get out of the hiton before i clock out today. But lets not dilly-dally within that topic too terribly much, lets get down to the bottom of the bag. Saturday I embark on the scene of the sherraton 4-points along side my good buddy the gun man himself, it will be the greatest of events to take place under one roof. I got nothing on these hoes up here no more, and the most ironic part of today.... Mikkell Holland that check scalping lame ass pussy faced hoe-boy is the m.o.d. of all the fagtatic bull shit mane. Anyhow, it's nothing but easy and breezy here today, i've already turned the ol bank in, as loyal and true as it was, it just had to go, no use in keeping it when the hilton will just bogart my patience and piss me off real nice like. So now that the end of the hilton is so fuckin nigh, let me enlighten ya'll with some vital info on hotels such as the hiltony ol hilton. First: take all the towels and robes, but not the pillows, Second: don't eat the chocolate that they leave on the pillow, its been in storage in a nasty ass cockroach infested room wihtout ventilation or even a window. Third: don't use the iron, i found out certain bacteria and germs can live in clothes and can get transferred through an iron! Gross stuff too, like fleas ( or at least there eggs, they can survuve up to two years) and lice, of course flu shit and even syphillis! Thats all I got on that for now, more reasearch must be done at a later date. This my good friends is no joke, before i get to the crib tonight i will be well relaxed and in the spirit of good times and fast ryhmes. The few good compadres i have over here are getting together to get tow-back. For now guys and gals I'm up outta this bitch, gotta go see a man about a beltsander. Nikia motha fuckin jonez OUT! Ya'll look before you leap. PEACE!!!!

The Return

Once again i have returned triumphant and grinning. I realize that we came up a little light on the blogging in july and we do apologize however you must realize that down here in the dirty the heat and the mud slow us down and typing can become downright hard. but nonetheless august will be a better month so just keep on coming and we will keep on bringing it on. so lets look back for a moment on what happened in july to cause us such shortness. firstly we were in transition from promenade to sheraton which doesnt directly effect the blog but in order to keep certain persons who are undesirables off the scrappy waves we cant blog as we wish. especially as internet at the house is a no go otherwise all my brilliance would be on here already. secondly it is just god damn hot. dont get me wrong i love the heat, but this is getting close to unbearable. at least out in the country it a little dryer so you can sweat and it gets evaporated off of you creating a cooling feeling. here there is too much humidity in the air already for it to get sucked off.(hehe sucked off) but as we ease into out new position and get more comfortable with out co workers the blogs will be to flow forth like water from a waterfall. some good news is my hombre mr jones is going to join the team over here on mlk and bay and its will be really going down then.

alrighty so i know the questions have been swirling in your minds. tommy how was you vacation? where did you go? when are you going again? well the answers are coming i promise you that. first off me the lady and BH went up to atlanta to see soundtribe and umphreys magee. it was bad ass and we had a rocking good time. unfortunately the second night got rained out due top power problems. so we just got fucked up and that with a capital F even though i didnt type it in and i could have. i think its better to say it than show it. although when it comes to women its the opposite way around, much better to show than just to tell. as far as when we will be going on another vacation the dates are up in the air. it will probably near next tommy day in february. alrighty then gang until next time i am off to max and relax. but as you all know i will be very easy on the peasy.

The Mulignan

Today my fellow scrappers, some dickhead totally made me go into to kill mode. Let me start at the beginning, and when i come to the end, I'll stop. There I am propped up against the front desk with a mean gangsta lean, and this repugnant waste of life comes up to the desk and asks to place a phone call. Kyle, being the accomodating fellow that he is, dials and hands buddy the fone, but peep, this shit ass cocksuckin motherfucker starts telling his moms how mexicans are ruining this country, and that they're gonna be the end of this world as we know it, so on and so forth. I'm all around well aware of racism and the lack of respect of certain people towards other people based on religion or sexual orientation, but this jew-prick hippie motherfucker right here was well beyond a reasonable amount of ignorance. I almost wanted to ask that prick if he knew if they had found a way to treat his horrible case of fuckfaceidis. Now then, what that ghastly moronic pin-headed cock gobblin interupted was my happy train of thought about my new crib, and the bad ass t.v. we got for the free! One minute im imagining my living room sitting in my chair, petting the logan (my dog), just relaxing. The next thing i know i just hear him spiling that garbage from that hole in his face. For now i gotta go do that damn thang, i been ridin solo since 754 in the p.m. and big shouts to the gun man on his unforseen return from the A. Ya'll keep an extra clip, Nikia Jones out. PEACE.