Down fo tha brown

Alright Alright cousins and cousinettes, its been a good minute since i got my blog on, so without any further prep talk for the delivery of the content of today's pearl of wisdom. I'm gonna hit ya'll with some straight up migo wisdom. Man do i love being brown, food, family, beer, we have awesome parties, i guess the only thing i really don't dig is the clothes that you may see the real mexicans wear, like the whole cowboy thing, with the boots (not to mention the ostrich, croc, or snake skin ones) and the hats and those huge gold and silver belt buckles. (No fucking way mane) Anyway, some of my favorites times in life have been when i gets to kick it with my dear old dads. Ya see dad is straight up mexican, big moustache, the boots the hats the long western jackets the whole motha fuckin nine yards. He drives big ass F-150's and other type trucks, and my uncle Pancho, severo, toche, joel, armando, and efrain. They all do it big in there trucks with the rims and the stickers and the little fringy thing that hangs from the top of the cab down to the sun visors like this. They butcher there dinner alot of times rigt in there own front yard and always manage to cook every last organ and use it in some type of tasty dish. Now the cool shit, my grandpa once cured a wart i had on my foot with an animal bone. (no joke) I showed it to him one day and the next morning he got me out of bed before the sun came up and took me out to the hay field and got me to hold still while he kicked around a bunch of dirt, he hit this deer jaw bone that was laying on its side with his foot and picked it up and walk over to me and "doctored" it sorta with the side that was laying on the ground. (it went away in like 2 days)-NO JOKE. My grandma, she was like a mountain woman, and she was at least 60 years old when i met her, she chopped wood and butchered animals and raised chickens, ut she didn't beleive in hot water. (?) She knew cool ass shit that i never even thought about. Like using ashes to clean metal. That shit was cool as fuck, if your grill or anything around the crib needs a good scrubbing try using dirt and ashes if soap fails miserably. My uncles knew all these cool things about chicks and beer. (yeah) Like how to make "micheladas" But i'm not gonna tell ya all the 411 on that. George Lopez has exposed too much in the world of the Pencas. Which while were on it i'll at least tell ya's what the deal is with that. See, in spanish we call each "buey, pata-rahada, essay, vato, pelado" shit like that. In english with the english inclined homies, we spit "penca" at each other because in english in means "branch" like we are each a branch of mexico. Moving right along. One of my aunt Angelica's (yeah i got 2) taught me how to give deep tissue massage and how to treat snake bite and bee stings with dirt spit and leaves. (gangsta) My uncle pancho taught me how to treat your vehicle, inside and out. This nigga puts a guayaba underneath his driver seat, and he has the best smelling ride i have ever rode EVER!!!!!!!! Now my dads, this nigga was mexican military and grew up poor in the deserts of mexico. I saw the ranch where he grew up and the room he was literally born in. (yeah nigga fuck a hospital) This nigga knows sht about cars that mechanics wont tell ya. He can lasso animals from far away with his rope trick shit. He can tie a knot that no man can escape. Me? I got a little of this and more from this side of te family. We kick it big when we all get together and make chicharones in our cazo and man if you haven't ever had that shit you are missing the fuck out. Not to mention carnitas and hand made home made gorditas and tortillas. Shit nigga im ungry i gotta go. Keep ya curtains closed Nikia out.

The number one most aggravating thing

Well gang once again it is unfortunately that time when the jack ass scad kids come back. and this i hate. i saw more people with two color hair and tight pants yesterday than i ever want to see. frankly i dont want to see any bu i suppose when being cool means looking like a jack ass ill let it go sometimes. but it was just too much. therefore when i get out of work today i will be making my "I hate SCAD kids" t-shirt and then taking the dog for a walk so i can show off my shirt. fuck those kids. anyhow thinking about this tends to infuriate me and i dont need that at work. there is plenty of that to go around already. so until next time i fucking hate some scaggots or scadniks or assholes. it all depends on what you want to call them.

Jimmie Verlin Glover

Well gals and gal pals, you know who it is and you know what i am here to do, so lets get it. First, christmas and new year have come to pass for 2008 making it a full flavor extra strength 2009. My christmas was lined in disaster as my good ol grandma died the day after. My grandma was sharp as a tac, she should have been a mathematician she could crunch numbers like a kid do candy. She hunted deer and raised chickens, and she never ever at all in any shape form or fashion what so ever forgot a date, i mean never, holidays, birthdays anniversaries she knew them all by heart. She only drove a dodge, she had a .38 revolver she kept by her bed at all times. She has given me more that i can even begin to explain in words. I saw her on thanksgiving to which it had been a year before then and i must express to you that i truly have come to understand what guilt is. On top of all of this she worked hard all her life, in plant nurseries, she drove a cab for a while too, then gramps taugt her how to be a carpenter. They painted and varnished and demo'ed and all the things you can possibly imagine that can be done to a home. She smoked cigarettes til the day she died, and let me tell you, i have already begun to steer clear of those tempting tasty newports. Its true, the death of the greatest person in my life struck fear in places that i thought were impossible to feel anything and have caused a chain of events to get off the nicotine and back on the tar free lung scene. Anyhow rep where and ya stay. Nikia jones out.

Still looking fine in 2009

Happy 2009 team. we made it through one more year. and everyday the not going to jail streak gets longer and longer. and we all hope it stays that way. so lets take a look back at 2008 and see what all happened. early in 2008 i got fired from the good old hiltony hilton. then i got a job at a japanese place and we all know how that went down(shitty) then i got the job at the promenade as a night auditor from 11pm to 7am(also shitty but not a restaurant) after that it was over to the sheraton which was awesome until the guy who hired me got fired and then the new boss was a cunt and she didnt like me. so they cut my hours severely and that brings us to the good old cambria. and thats where i am now. literally right now i am at work. this is what i do when i am here. well this and watch tv. not a whole lot more. lets see here what else happened in 2008? well we got toby the dog and we all love toby. this is what toby looked like when we first got him. he still isnt full grown yet but this is what we hope he will ultimately look like. although i wouldnt be to upset if he turned out like mans best friend. that movie was so scary when i was little. but anyway toby is awesome. what else happened in 08? one of my buds moved to chicago with his then girlfriend but now wife. two of my other buddies moved to new york city. different parts though as i understand. another of my buddies got some sweet job with osh kosh b'gosh and now he flies all over the world. no joke. i got my playstation 3. that was a big day. i still have it and it still works. one day i might get this special keyboard that goes with it and do a blog from home. but i dont know if i like the sound of that. i prefer to get paid while im doing my blog. it more like im getting paid to do it that way. it just gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. lets see here what else did i do in 2008. i went to casbah the moroccan place with the belly dancers. it was good. i had some sex. thats always nice. i read some magazines and some other blogs. i dont think i did anything all too wild. i guess you could say 2008 was a very mild year for this particular sandford. but never fear 2009 is here now and i make a vow right here and now that there will be more wildness in 2009. i might even figure out how to get the pictures off of my camera and put them on here so you all can see all the cool shit that i know about. but until then you will all have to miss out. alrighty well thats enough for today as i cant think of anything else to put down. which i am sure is obvious from the rambling nature of the blog. have a good year gang, and as always GO DAWGS. and be easy on your peasy or you may become japanesey

I love pepper bacon

Its been a while since there has been a saying on the side of a fast food bag that i have agreed with. and i thought about it a long time just to be sure. and damn do i love pepper bacon. although i suppose i do love any kind of bacon. except of course tofu bacon and turkey bacon. they merely are not bacon. bacon comes from pigs. where does turkey bacon come from? probably from the same place as the mcrib. and of course tofu is just stupid. nothing else need be said about tofu but that its stupid. bacon on the other hand is not. when i eat it i sometimes feel bad for those who dont. then i feel anger towards those who wont. there is no good reason to just not eat it. if you are allergic or have high blood pressure are valid reasons to eat no bacon. thats it that i can think of. bacon isnt about watching your figure its about awesomeness. its like chocolate for men. mmmm greasy crispy floppy bacon. i prefer mine extra floppy. just hot enough to be considered almost done. thats where its at for me. other than my thoughts on bacon i suppose it has been some time since the last blog. we did have a little holiday called christmas just the other day and that was nice. i had to work xmas day but the next day it all started up big time. the 26th i went with my mom to visit the sis in south carolina. ate some california dreaming. always good times. 27th we woke up early to go to the ladys moms house and eat breakfast. it was also awesome although i do prefer non runny eggs. it just makes me feel like i may be eating raw eggs. i prefer them to be more lik grits. then we went to meet the ladies dad downtown for pizza at vinnies. also totally awesome but after breakfast a mere hour before getting up the steam to eat 3 slices was tricky. all in all a good day. nice and sunny about 80 degrees. then on the 28th a trip out to the country to visit my pa. we took good old toby the beast with us. he loves some running. although the 2 hour drive was almost to much for him. but we ate there and played with toby. my dad is a little bit off so playing fetch with toby was something he enjoyed. but they played and played and on the way back home toby just slept his little face off. it was of course very cute. anywho i must be off now as i do sometimes do actual work at work. not often mind you but i am about to now. if i can find something to do. until next time gang watch out for space crabs. they are a silent killer

Im ticking for the Dethklok

Ok guys and gals, once again your co-pilot and all around friendly neighborhood mexiCAN gettin back at ya with some rhymes for the times. I have been watching dult swim for a while now and they got a show, not just any show, thats kicks ass and takes names some what like that of charles bronson. But there clever like ol Macguyver, and not too mention mean as a rattle snake like the chuck. The show is known simply as METALOCALYPSE. This show is not your average fart joke punch line type shit, oh no. This shit has mermaid murder. What is mermaid murder? Its one of there best songs! The show is about a band (dethklok) with the band members Nathan Explosion (lead vocals) William murderface murderface merderface (bass), Toki Wartooth (rythym guitar), Skwisgaar Skwigelf (lead guitar), and Pickles on the drums. Now back to the murmaid murder! The band decides to go underwater and record a death metal album that is "dedicated" to all underwater life of the sea, the fans love it and they are a rare breed of metalhead, these people risk there lives and health to see a live dethklok concert (something always happens and people get killed). Every thing from an atempt from the government, (oh yeah the man keeps tabs on them and tries different ways to kill them and infiltrate there super awesome house "mordore" ) There Dr. Roxo the cocaine sorting rock n roll clown straight outta the 80's and rehab. Well for now yall thats really all i have to report, im sickly and feelin like a pile of freshly hammered shit, so, yeah, laters. Keep your fridge shut!

I thought i knew it all.

Good evening once again cadets and cadettes. tonite i am here to humble myself. and this doesnt happen ofetn so enjoy it. the past month has been a real eye opener for me. i thought i knew all the good stuiff that was out there. king of thwe hill, family guy, run ronnie run. but then i found out there was stuff that i didnt even know about yet. like the flight of the conchords. that shit is just gd damn fucking funny. and i never knew. but know i do and i am here to sing its praises. so dont be messin with the rhymnocerous or the hiphopapotamus or you will be messin with scrappys. and messin with scrappys is the a charles bronson movie. its a death wish. then i found out about its always sunny in philadelphia. iots got everything. controversy, jokes that make you laugh and squirm a little with the wrongness of them. and not to mention a very short angry old man named danny devito. unfortunately he doesnt wear his penguin costumes in the show. but its not needed. later in the month i discovered sawa. its this bad ass chinese and japanese restaurant. but its not your normal shitty chinese food. the meat has meat shape and there isnt in excess grease dripping from every bite. my eyes have been opened. not to mention mutha fuckin zaxbys! if you havent eaten here and you have said that another fast food place is the best then you are straight out wrong. zaxbys blows everything else out of the water. unless you want burgers because they dont have that but still they have all things chicken and its all delicious. well gang that about all i have time for today so until next time watch your backs because the reaper is always behind you and remember to have updated zombie attack plans posted in easy to see places in your place of residence, everyday the zombie invasion gets one day closer.