A small extension

Yes that is what women say about asian dudes but thats not what we are talking about today. my home skillet miguel wrote on an excellent subject in his last blog. the kill mode. i wish to elaborate on situations which bring on this deadly and scientific mode. i will start with when you are fixing to take a shower and you turn on the water and just before you get in you put your hand in to see if its warm and it is cold. so you wait, and while you wait you start getting hot under the collar. then you try it again, still cold. now you have two options take a cold shower which will merely compound the killing cells which are by this point multiplying at an exponential rate, or you can just stay smell funky. this of course might not start upsetting you immediately however the look on the faces of people you know of even just walk by as they catch a whiff of your two days of b. o. will no doubt set off the buzzer in your brain that says your kill mode safety switch has been unswitched. another kill mode scenario that particularly sets me off is when you are in the car and you are about to turn but you are waiting for a car to pass. however they are slowing and you cant tell because they are still coming at you. and then comes the chart topper, rather than passing you they turn onto the street that you are turning off of. this may sound not that bad but when you factor in the fact that cars come with blinkers and that fucking asswad didnt move one finger to very easily switch his on it blows the lid on the kill mode kettle. it makes you want to not turn as you were but to do a u turn. then chase down that fuck and rip out his blinker lever and throw it into their face shouting that they didnt need it anyhow. here is one that will steam your grits without using any water. when you go to a fast food place and you ask for something special and then you ask them to repeat it just to make sure you get what you want. then you pay and get your food. you dont look because they already assured you that you got what you wanted. then you go to eat your burger that shouldnt have something on it, lets say cheese. when you open it up there is cheese dripping from all sides and the bun is soggy with it. plus they didnt give you what you wanted on it and instead of a coke you get a diet coke. this will always break the containment center that holds in the kill mode assassins. if i was less lazy i would take that food back and go through the line again. when you get to the cashier open the burger and hit them in the face with that grimy ass cheese and then proceed to the next window. tell them they gave you diet instead of regular and hurl your open cup at them. then ill say fuck you you punk asses or something to that affect and speed off. another thing that will peel the paint off of the kill mode car is when you are at the job and people ask you to do something that isnt your job and they expect you to do it. this is ultimately much worse when it is a customer than when it is a co worker. with all the death bandits screeching in your brain you just have to look at them and say you will try to help. it doesnt even matter if it is something that is easy. the point is that it isnt your job. if it was your job they would pay you for it and it would have been told to you when you started your job.
anyhow fuzzy came back and we are all happy. i dont gotta work monday and tuesday this week and then after that friday and saturday will be my days off. rock on. in closing today i wish to impart so knowledge unto you. dont piss of a whole shit load of third graders otherwise they will hatch a plot to chop you up with butcher knives and then they will tie up your dismembered body parts to weights and sink them into a river or lake. that all for now so as always keep on keepin on and remember if i wouldnt do it you shouldnt and if i would you might not should anyway.

Kill Mode

Well, its half past two in the morning, i've done alot of chillin, and now is just me and corner gas. Tommorow, lots of sleep and a good dose of napping, maybe i'll hit up the gun man and check out what the beat is on hall street. I got some cold ones left and i even got to have few shortly after work, not to mention a quick trip to the garden of eden, and i got off early the day before my only day off to sweeten the deal. The rest is history. But don't think that this be the end, we should look into the thing i have adorned with the title "kill mode". If somebody eats your left overs from your favorite spot to eat, that sudden rush of blood to the cranium and the urge to find a blunt object to cause a hole in the side of a mofo's head, yeah that's kill mode. You wake up shower down and get out to find no towels, all of a sudden you want to slap a fool and the burning sensation of mureder creeps up into your gourd, you've entered the mind set of the kill mode. Yes it's true, buried deep within us all is this thing that can be unleashed and cause a wave of mass destruction the likes of which can be unmeasruable. Kill mode can for and against you, but you sees a cat about to act a fool, just vacate asap. For now thats all the power in the hour, nikia signing off for now, ya'll stay up.

Sweet Sweet Fuzz

Last night at about 3:15 am i got a call from the lady. All the cats had escaped through the kitchen window. Luckily otis and felix were quickly found however poor fuzzy is still on the lamb. normally fuzzy wouldnt even want to go outside. her fatness demands food to frequently to run off in such a fashion. especially now that we have the nice big house. when i get outta here i am going back to check out the old house just in case. they always say look where you just moved from when you lose a pet after moving. i just dont think fuzzy is smart enough to get back. if anything someone said in there "oooh-its-a-kitty-cat" voice here kitty kitty and i am sure fuzzy ran right up for some loving. if that is what happened those folks better hope i dont find out or else. or else what you say? well ill fuck them up big time. poop on the porch. pee in the gas tank. ill toilet paper there house in used toilet paper. i will shave there heads in the dark and dye there skin black if they are white. if black i will bleach them but it is my experience thus far in my life that black folks dont really like cats to much. but if so i will bleach them and dye there palms and the soles of their feet. i they be jewish i will break their jew noses and steal their jew gold. if it is the irish i will drink all their whiskey and then pull a braveheart on them. thats where you lock them in the building and burn it down like in braveheart. if they are italian i will degrease their hair and let loose cock-a-roaches (thats how al pacino says it) in their italian restaurants. if they are asian i will take their mothers out for a nice romantic meal and evening and then never call them again after i say i will. if they are fat guys ill sew their assholes shut and it they are skinny i will just break them like toothpicks. i will burn down their houses and bugger anyone who survives. then i will steal their cars pimp them out and then blow them up. i will take all the rope from their collective homes and make whips out of them. this whips will be named the whips of vengeance and fuzzy. with these whips i will hunt down there families and give each immediate member(mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers) 40 lashes. with the tears of these i will find the secondary families(cousins and aunts and uncles) and drown them in the tears of their bastard families. when i run out i will tie them to the ground and steal a steam roller. they will be tied in a line with feet near the heads and heads near the feet so if they were standing they would be on each others shoulders. then i would crank up my roller and start with the first persons feet. that when by the time i get up to their heads their insides will be like the toothpaste in the toothpaste tube and it will explode out onto the next person before they get the roll to. let that be a lesson to all those of you with dark thoughts in your brains about my kitties. i assure you it is in your best interest to just feed them and then bring them back unharmed. plus it will save me lots of time from hunting you and your kinfolk down. but dont think, even for a minute, that i will hesitate to erase you and yours. just like arnold did in eraser. or was he protecting them? either way watch your asses. until fuzzy comes back or i get back to work tomorrow night yall keep on chillin like you dont like killin and rappin cause you made it out of the trappin

Choppin baby, we loves choppin

Lets get right down to brass tax guys and gals, last night was a close call of the bum kind. I walk out ot my ride and there's this dude just posted up checking shit out, when i get there what should happen but he attempt to put a beat down on my ass for some bread! But as you can see that is not the case, a little stick and move and one swift kick to the sternum and ya boy came out squeaky motha fuckin clean! He did give me a nasty set of scratches on my neck and a badly bruised ear, but that cocksucker hated life this mornig when he woke up! The most fucked up part was there was a 5-o right there and he came and talked to me about it instead of chasing that fuckin poge! The scad security suv were the ones who tried to mack on him. Cops, what a waste. Moving right along, i got a major big mac attack coming on, and i can't wait to get the fuck outta the hilton. If i get outta this peice on time i gots to go chill with the gun man and unactivate the wonder powers and do some serious chilling, like popsicle chilling, or ice tray chillin, don't get it fucked up. Just in case you ain't know either, just because the sun is shining don't mean that the ice ain't slippery.((the shadow rules!!!!)) The closing portion of the blog today will be directed once again at those goddamn haters! I found a huge collection of those bastards today right here at the hilton, you see haters are an interesting breed in that they're sorta like a necessary evil. Without haters you couldn't rep yo block and mean it, you couldn't be brown and proud like myself, and you couldn't feel good about who you are or what you got becasue there lack of dismantlement would make it fall through. Now when you can chop a hater of at the knee caps, you gots to do it cool baby. There's nothing better than gripping the anti-hate spray and letting it loose all up in there grill. (MMMMmmmm grill) ((hunger)) Anti hate spray comes in a variety of forms, from your exhaust on your car that runs and has all your favorite shit in it to listen to, then there's yo crib where you live and you pay yo rent and bills, with your fridge full of your favorite eats, and your living room with your favorite chair or chill spot. That is the most potent form of anti hater spray. So that's it for now, and if your wanting more, just wait for those magical chocolate packages!

Good Times?

After I saw the movie Big with tom hanks i always wanted to play that big ass piano with my feet. but i am not entirely sure that it truly exists. If it did certainly more people would be doing it and it would be more of an attraction. maybe not as amazing as Disneyland or Disneyworld but almost definitely better than South of the Border. And speaking of south of the border( of course when i say south of the border i am referring to the mexican(latin if you are picky) themed amusement park on 1-95 in between north and south carolina) who has ever been there. I have only been there once during the day time and it was only to pee and the only people i saw anywhere around were buying firecrackers. i have traveled past this place tons of time on the way to college and various relatives houses and i have never seen the big sombrero rides moving. just once i would like to see the sombrero doom drop plummet with little kids screaming. then do relax them they give them water with montezumas revenge. although i can say that thanks to south of the border there is a little bit of excitement along that stretch of 95. they have all their crazy billboards with stuff that moves and silly mexican jokes on them. if you dont know what i am speaking of please get in your car now and go and see it.
on a bit of a different tangent we got all moved in today and are very pleased about it. without the aid of my comrade the N to the J we wouldnt have been able to do it. too bad yall couldnt see us teetering on top of this wobbly dumpster taking these dresser out that weigh probably 150 lbs. it was tough but with a dual powers and wonder twins activated, me in the form of the Chilly Arctic Wind and miguel in the shape of 2 baboons, non colored asses, we took that business down to the ground like the rock when he wants to know if you can smell what he is cooking. i for one would like to know but if thats how you have to find out i dont want to know. welp folks it has been fun but as i have said on previous occasions and will probably say in the future be easy on the peasy and watch out for all the neezys. also if your a non reader watch your ass because we sent you all april fools day gifts and you will like them. on a side note if you get the brownies eat them immediately as the chocolate will stop working with too much exposure to the elements.

Sweeter than a Swisher

Well yous guys, it nikia to the J back with that flavor you can savor. Today is pretty motha fuckin good. Yesterday i helped my good comrade with the big move and that's just the way it had to be, especially with a tight ass pad like that. I got a few bucks left over to get me some good grub. Hopefully tonight i will be doing some serious chillaxing to my satisfaction. Not to mention that i FINALLY got laid after 4 long days of nothing, not even porn. (ya know how it is) I may need to get rid of our new found weenie freind, that crazy hoe lost her mind this morning, i walk in get the leash and go to put it on her and the next thing i know she bites me and pisses a blue streak on one of our good blankets, don't think i'm some cruel bastard or anything, i just don't like a nasty mean ol motherfucker for a pet, especially not no fuckin weenie dog ya dig? Then the shenkster just delivered the best beverage (except that yager or a good cold one) ever in the world, a cherry sprite!!!! You fuckers are missing out if you are scratching your heads wondering where to accumulate the sacred cherry sprite, all you needs is a sprite, a little handful of those marichino cherries, and of course some of that ice, mix it, drink it, the go change your shorts! Overall the time has come for me to get on with the getting on and do my thang. Ya;ll be easy and they can't feel ya, just remember that you can only do you man. Nikia Jones signing the fuck off!!!!!!!!

Non-triflin type chilling

TRIFLING, this is never a pretty thing. Lots of people are guilty of this particular thing, to involve yourself in a matter that concerns you not and then complicate it when non-sense and padantictness of your own invention is the worst way of trifling. Now, one who is in the lane in which the trifin type be riding need not put there blinker on, or slow at the sight of an accident because the will simply trifle the whole thing up. The body may not even be in sight but they saw someone who looked like your cousin in the front and it scared them, so you should call your cousin and make sure they ok, but the catch is they knew your good ol cousin is away and won't answer the cell and now you freaked out because some foolish hoe-ass dumb fuck has invloved himself in your matters and cause a world of shit to unfurl. There is a very special way to thwart these "triflers" and it is truly a beautiful thing. First give them the scoop on some fake shit on a hard pipe hitting mofo you know from around the way. Then let them know of the trifler and there non peace loving ways (yeah folks on the pipe do enjoy peace) and the game is set, as soon as the trifler makes there way around the bend dropping f-bombs and half guesses and half truths and mostly lies, the pipe hitting mofo will make his move, and beleive me, when a hard up pipe hitting broke behind killer from the streets gets to get one over on some one like a high and mighty triflin type, they take extra time to soften them and then tear them down in their own special way. The rest will just fall into place. The bst part will be if the trifler finally learns, if not you can just keep setting them up little by little when ever your affairs become entangled in there shit can of lies. This has been a public service anouncement by Nikia to the Motha fuckin J.