Swinger Magazines

At one my previous jobs i was a clerk. but now just any kind of clerk i was a movie store clerk. we also had comic books and "The Romance Section". you have to say that last part with a eerie tone in your voice. it was especially cool because i felt like i was in the movie clerks. plus we had it all. cokes (not shitty ass pepsi), movies on the tv, and free posters. also we had an array of other special things. we had figuines like wolverine and spawn, but we also had one of freddie mercury and elvis. plus we had some porn stars buttholes and poo nannys molded in rubber or something. we also had one that was a face but it didnt look like a person, or at least not a real person it was more of a sailor moon type face. either way it was a cartoon face you could put your dong in. although i think most guys buying that type of stuff would call there a little dingy. but this brings us to our main point. the swinger magazines. first off the fact that these things exist and people actually pay money for them is amazing, then you add to that the fact that people put ads in these books with all their shit hanging out. and yes of course i had the time to look at each one just for cheap laughs. i mean these magazines arent national books with people from all over the nation. oh no these are our own home grown georgia and south carolina pervs who are sitting at their homes with their cocks in their hands and all of a sudden they decide they would like a little companionship. so they go out and buy one of these magazines (probably from some other dirty store) and they look though it and anyone who looks appealing they call up and see if they want to get down. but maybe this doesnt work so they say well hell, why dont i put my picture in this here book for all the purty young ladies to gander at. so that is exactly what they do. they get out there best hat and shades and strip off everything else and start top shooting their photos. this is where i take a moment out to apologize to the poor picture makers looking at every photo that they print for a glimpse of some good nakedness bu instead get redneck with mullet naked below his eyes with his little dingy hanging out or maybe in his hand for all the world to see. but what can you say , sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. anyhow i suppose thats enough details about the swingers down here in the good old dirty dirty. but hey these are my peeps and i will defend to the death their right to photograph themselves in the nude and then put it into magazines. as long as they pictures dont make their way to my magazines.

An unfortunate happening

Today i proved that sometimes bad things do happen to good people. actually lately it seems as though i have been proving it everyday. but as for todays experiment in proving the theory. i got home from work at 7 am as usual after letting my lady friend borrow my phone over night since hers was left at her moms. i take toby out for his usual walk and then i return inside to get my phone so it doesnt ring while she is sleeping and wake her up. as i am waking out of our dark room i notice that my phone is about to die so i head back in for my charger. after i get it i head for the nearest outlet so i can plug it in. only when i try to plug my phone into the plug to charge nothing happens. some of the outlets in our house dont work so i try i few more. then i think maybe i am using all bad ones and i plug in something i know will turn on if the plug is good. it works fine. now i am shit out of luck because i dont know whether it is a problem with my crummy phone or it is with my charger. and i am getting tired and dont want to deal with all this shit. so i just say fuck it and go to sleep. the problem with this is that i wake up around 7pm and my phone place isnt open anymore and i have to wait until tommorrow. but the bastard doesnt open until 10 i think and even then i have to go up there hunt down a parking place and then go and talk to the guy who owns the phone place. and he is really weird. he remembered me and my girlfriend the last time we were in there. and we hadnt been in there since i got the stupid phone a year and a half before. some might call that really super duper smart. i call it fucking weird. sure it might be sweet to remember stuff like that but you dont have to weird people out with it. but anyways i have to go in there and talk to him and the whole while he is doing his phone thing i think that he doesnt know what the fuck he is doing. he just pulls out all this crap and then mixes and matches stuff. when i first got the phone he was testing it by calling it to see if it would ring and he totally called himself. i dont remember what his song on his phone was but it was real shitty. like dont go chasing waterfalls, or one of those songs by salt and peppa. this is a white guy by the way, probably like 35. i have seen his lady friend before when they came into my movie store. i thought she was this lesbian lady who would always come in and ask about the vibraters and dildoes. she would always ask the new guys to see if they would squirm. it was funny. we had this one dildo called the american dream or the american challenge (there is some dispute about the name) it was the only thing you could clearly make out in the security camera in the "romance" section. and this was a tv that was maybe 12 inches. this dildo was big. one of my friends sold it one day and i my first question was" was she a sexy lady?". my friend said "no HE wasnt that good looking, a bit portly" the things you see and hear in a movie/dirty movie store are always astounding. when i got hired to work there i was forced to go in the romance section and see if it was disturbing. apparently my boss had more than a few workers walk out because they couldnt deal with the porn/porn lovers. we had a doll in the back. you a sex doll. but it was just the head. but not a person head, this was like an anime head. not that exact head but pretty close. no one bought it while i was there though. plus we had the swingers magazines. if you have never seen one of these for yourself check it out. ours were all from the south so you know that only classy folks were in them. there was this one guy who had a bunch of ads, all of them with his small penis showing and his mullet blowing in the wind. there was this other one with this old man. we all thought it was the best one of all. he had two pictures of himself- one of him in a tuxedo looking all sharp and ready for a night on the town-- and the other was of course him just standing there naked. you have to respect a man who puts a nice picture next to his naked picture in a swinger magazine. in all honesty if you put your face in there you are pretty upstanding. the thing most of the guys did was just take a picture of their dick. who wants to see that? no one thats who. as for the women they were surely not models. more like that lady in whose eating gilbert grape, straining there massive arms around there guts to spread there ridiculously hairy snatches. if i had seen those on my first day i may have quit but weeks of gay, tranny, dykes, and regular porn had softened me up by then and it was all just something to laugh at. and thats the kind of guy i am now. well gang that was informative but i must be off now as i am getting hungry and i can hear the english muffins begging for me to give it to them, and give it to them hard.