When the eyes of the ranger are upon you

Howdy there gang. Im pretty stoked about doing the blog about my main man chuck. while i was looking for a photo of chuck to put on here i noticed that most photos of chuck are either a) with him in front of the american flag b) of him kicking someones ass or c) from a site full of chuck norris facts/jokes/info. something you may have noticed is how i refer to him as chuck instead of mr norris or just chuck norris. this is because i am cool like that. all you people have to call him one of those other names. its almost like how you have to call that guy on harry potter the guy who must not be named, or in the ghetto tha nigga whos name you dont know. but i am not here to judge a book by its cover and we all know you arent either. Also i know many of you enjoyed the parade yesterday. but did you know if you go to google and type in the gold teeth parade the first thing that comes up is us. fuckin sweet right? interesting little fact for you, most of those pictures i found when searching for gold teef, not teeth. bet you didnt know that did you? didnt think so. if you did know then you deserve a dirty dirty diploma from the university of dirty dirty. this word is red. just fucking with you, its blue. but i makes your mind struggle. thats what we are all about here at scrappys, making you use your mind while stengthening it through conditioning and extreme mind exercises. plus we impart lots of knowledge onto you. well gang that was a pretty chuck blog (chuck means awesome now(i just made that up)) so i will be wrapping it up know. hope you all are studying hard and gettin her done. if not we will send larry the cable guy to tell you his jokes until you head explodes, then laugh in your face.

The Gold Teeth Parade

This is going to be sweet.

Mean Miguel V. vs Nasty Nikia J.

Nikia: You look like shit and you smell like ass, any one who looks at you knows son you got no class.
Miguel: That's funny, you talk and ryhme, all you lack is money thats why you walking all the time.
Nikia: The funny thing about you is your mothafuckin face, no matter where you are you always look out of place.
Miguel: You're as nutty as a squirrel and as dumb as a prick, you talk like a girl and your versus make me sick.
Nikia: Shut up nigga, you know you ain't shit, if they put me on a beat my ryhmes would be a hit.
Miguel: Yeah thats wishful thinking, keep yo head above that water cause now your boat is sinking.
Nikia: You call that a ryhme, i can't slap you in the face and fuck ya mother in one line.
Miguel: Me, i like to do it BIG, embarass you in person without even booking a gig.
Nikia: You so lame, you oughtta be shot, your ryhmes lack substance like you losing train of thought.
Miguel: It's funny when your scared, you stutter and tremble and act hearing impaired.
Nikia: You want some then, i pull the steel out and let you meet the men.
Miguel: Yeah, like the men you fuck, you slipping little daddy, and your ryhmes still suck.
Nikia: Yeah, like when you suck my dick, you know my shits tight thats why it make it you sick.
Miguel: Shit, it makes me sick of your mouth, who the fuck you supposed to be talking down in the south?
Nikia: I'm that nigga, the one that no one knows, gangsta is my life right down to my bloody bones, i'm that motha fucker that they call nikia jones.
Miguel: Nikia, what kind of name is that, you must've got from your boyfreind while he was beating out your back.
Nikia: You a prison bitch getting raped everyday, you gotta keep it a secret son we all know you gay.
Miguel: This is what it is, i ryhme with no accord, i ain't gotta pull the steel bitch i'll let you meet my sword. Not afraid of you your face your religion your race. I'm a ride or die soldier i'd kill you in any place.
Nikia: Thats it, thats all you got, i hope not son cause i've just begun to get hot.
This has been a nikia hates miguel production. Just try and be easy out there. Love peace and afro grease fro-eva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also miss the afroman concert today so i thought i would liven it up a bit with some of that funk straight from the bunk. Ya'll keep it real hold it down and stay pimpin.

Get cha Gangsta On........

Well, hell ladies and gents. It's about that time once again. You may be inquiring as to what the hell i am talking about, but thats for me to know and you to find out. Today has been a total pain with these guys in turbans, earlier i saw them all in the lobby with the head wrapping and there cargo shorts and air shock nike's, it looked like the Al qada started there very own NBA!!!! A little later they all come back and it was like the aladdin fan club broke into the hilton, and now my good ol pals, they're getting into the liquor!!!! I can't wait to this one go down. I mean they got it all, pointy shoes, long froc looking ass shirts, and all of it shiny as aluminum foil. I wanted to asl one of these fuckers if i could maybe buy one of the turbans from the guys in his party, but they were all giving me the stink eye for what ever reason. (HOLY SHIT) Right then where i put the holy shit in parenthasese another one of those shit bags walked by and gave me the fuckin stink eye AGAIN!!!!!!!! These poor motherfuckers, one day i hope that the fashion police invade and make all there women wear flannel forever. I still am a big fan of the turbans though. I'd hide my tarantula in it and take it off to torment all those who hide in fear of the arachnids!!!! People who scare easily are the funnest to fuck with man i'm telling ya!!!! It makes me wonder what these dudes may be afraid of!!! I'll check ya'll lata, as the gun man would say "be easy on the peasy" Nikia Jone$ signing off.

They are making a G I JOE movie hombres

Fuck yea. I came across this and had to put lay it down. I wasnt even planning on blogging today but with this revelation how could i not. They say it ought to be out by august of 2009, but the anticipation may kill me before then. i only barely survived the wait for transformers and that was not even that long ago. Thats really all i had to say but i would like to point out that g i joes where the greatest toy ever. And knowing is half the battle!!

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade.

Alrighty gang im back again. sad to say that my boss got canned today. i was looking forward to getting some days off sometime soon but now that isnt looking so good. we did manage to pinch shanell from the hilton. thats one point for us. and im not so sad about not being at the hilton. while i wish my compadre the best his co-workers are not all grade a people. however most of them are grade a snakes. very highly skilled in the methods of making you feel safe then pulling your legs out from under you and hitting you with a piano. BAM! but if you would like to hear some people conniving against you to get your job by all means head over to the hilton. talk with the front desk managers and upstairs folks, you are sure to hear all the juicy tidbits. they cant ever keep them in, they must tell someone. almost like paris hiltons need to flash her beaver and act slutty. on a lighter note the klingon got busted if you havent seen the poor bastard in jail of the day. that guy is freaky. our pal sonya saw him in a bar chillin one night, very creepy. also it is a mere 11 more days till the moving commences. it will indeed be wonderful. and finally to all you connoisseurs of fake foliage, what the fuck. sure it is easier than real plants and it makes it look like you have plants but no one thinks they are real. while i will admit i am always amazed at how real they can look sometimes but in general people with fake plants are cheap. and as we know if you are cheap enough to buy fake plants you probably arent going to buy the good lookers. i despise them so much i have been known to water them with my own special brew of water. thats right my personal lemonade. well gang it has reached that time and it is time for the rant to cease for now. so yall take it easy. I will leave you with a little bit of a song though. if you can sing the duh duh properly you will know which song it is. it goes like this "I WANNA ROCK duh, duh-duh, duh nuh, duh, duh-duh, duh-nuh, DUH, DUH, I WANNA ROCK"WHOOOOOO

In accordance with the gun man.

A rare thing happened to me yesterday, and i'm not gonna blog about it, instead i will blog in concurrence with the gun man himself. First, all this shit about the laziness, send your kid outside everyday in the summer and don't let them in til it's time for supper, this method of training and breaking in a child is by far one of the most superior ways to ensure that a) they won't be lazy b) they will more than appreciate your house and be less likely to fuck it up while your gone cause they never get to see it. C) (the big one) if you want obedience, beat it in them. The next thing that i myself have noticed is the whole job and money concept. That is just as easy to rememdy as well, get you kid a job asap. This won't just teach them to appreciate all they have and earn, but it will also teach them that this is what life is REALLY like, living to work and working to live, Its just the way of the world, not games and Mcdonalds 24/7. And teach your kids to fuckin cook man!!!!! Shit if you raise some one with no resposibilities and no way to care for themselves you just officially raised a fuckin idiot!!!! Just like the gun man said though, i ain't perfect, but i am a grown ass man. and i know too many motherfuckers my age that can't even melt butter without a near miss! The worst is these little crybabies, motherfuckers who freak out over anything theydon't get just the way they want it, the only day that supposed to happen is your motherfuckin birthday ya dig? I mean shit man they ain't nobody that goddamn royal. Don't EVER give ya kid some candy till they like 5 or 6, that way they'l still have teeth in kindegarten and they won't bounce off the walls like a damn jackass in heat. The amount of people who give in to their kids is largely accountable for the shittiness in this day and age. The age of an era is not easily persuaded, this almost goes without saying, but the outcome of it could just as easily be pushed another way if people remembered how to hand out an ass whooping. For now that's all i gotta say about that, It's time for nikia to the jay to go sling a deuce! Keep your eyes open, and the wind to your back.