Sometimes they need to be Upper Decked

On occasion, folks who are assholes need a good upper decking. Some people think there are many ways do to do this. they are wrong. there is only one way to do it and over the next few paragraphs in single paragraph form i will explain. Firstly you must decide who needs the decking(from here on in it will be refered to as decking because upper decking is long). In order to do this we must venture out into the world and interact with our fellow humans. Anyone who sucks or is an else probably deserves a decking. However one must always keep in mind the severity of the decking and only use it in extreme cases. if you do it to one peson more than three times they may go insane. BEWARE. VERY WARE. Next you must know where said person lives or if they own a business you can do it there too but then someone else will probably have to clean it up. Then you must find a way to get them to invite you into their home. Preferably for a meal or at least a long period of time, an hour and a half or more. Finally, while at your meal or event(whatever it may be) you excuse yourself from the gathering and head for the restroom. Once in their shitter room you head for the shitter. Take the top off the back of the toilet(NOT the toilet lid where you pee the top on the tank on the back). Then very carefully step onto the toilet lid, it should be closed(dont step in the water). Once on top of the lid turn around and bend so that your ass is hovering over the tank. Now do your business. Once finished get down and wipe so you can throw the shitty paper in the toilet to flush, or into the trash can so when they first go in the bathroom and look around they will think it was your shitty paper. Now everytime they flush it will stir up those terds and really stink up the place. Now for some tips ion effectiveness and thoroughness. Firstly what you eat makes your poop different so the more runny the more quickly it will drain out of their toilet tank and the logged up the longer they will have you nice scent wafting through their morning showers, and really every waking thought. For more logged poop eat lots of grains and meats. The more water and veggies the more greasy and liquidy it will be. SO be careful out there wile avenging people everywhere but remember to have fun.

And then I said let it be

And so it was that it was let be. Then while it was being let be a tidal wave surged over the continent and the only two people left alive were me and chuck norris, or so we thought. So me and chuck are just chillin out talking about how cool chuck is. and he is telling me how the whole tidal wave started. apparently what happened was that chuck was doing pushups which normally only causes minor damage to the weather on earth because as we all now when chuck norris does pushups he isnt pushing himself up but rather he is pushing the world down. but apparently while he was doing it someone nearby turned on some phil collins and he was so motivated that he began vehemently doing his pushups. he was doing so many so fast that the world began to vibrate and that is when the waters of all the oceans lept out of their confines and flooded the land. so while we were laughing about it i heard a strange noise. but it was more god awful than strange. what was it we thought. it was god damn jimmy buffet. so what do me and old chuck do. well first we go and dig a big hole. then while chuck is out gathering foliage i weave a false floor out of vines that i collected from the rain forest where we all live. so when chuck comes back we place the fake floor over the hole and cover it with the foliage chuck collected. when it is done it looks just like the rest of the jungle floor. so after all this excruciating work we go and find buffet. so we lure buffet with these young girls who we met earlier(also survivors)((buffet cant resist young girls))(((the more parentheses the more important the added detail that couldnt be worked into the story for lack of time, effort, etc.))). so we are luring buffet with these fine ass chicks with nice legs and all over to where me and chuck are staying and he is playing his shitty ass music on the way. so we are walking down the trail with the faux floor and all of a sudden i walk off to the side of the trail right next to where the trap is. me and chuck pretend we heard a loud noise and then dismiss it as nothing so as not to alert buffet. so with buffet following behind us and the chicks pretending like his music is good following behind him we continue you on. a couple of steps and me and chuck here my exquisite false floor snapping and low and behold we have him trapped. but little did i know but chuck really hates jimmy buffet and while i wasnt looking he but sharpened stakes in the bottom of our trap. so when i went to taunt jimmy i found that jimmy had been pierced by not one but 4 sharp spears. however to my delight jimmy windpipe had been completely ripped out so even if there hadnt been the tidal waves that wiped out all the doctors jimmy would never sing again. second later jimmy died and i fucked both chicks while chuck cheered me on. he wasnt allowed to as his amazin cock would destroy their gentle vaginas.

now that was nice wasnt it? i think so just a little appeteaser before the great and long story of 2008. in closing everyone needs to go and get a copy of "run ronnie run"n and watch it. and further i will send out one more warning to those none readers and there mothers. if you dont start reading this excellent prose your mothers will be sorry because i will send big gay ray after your fathers and then your mothers will never fuck your fathers again. and all they will have left to choose from is your weakling selves and me and mr jones. and you know who they will pick. and yall dont want us to become your daddies because the whippings will begin and never end. read it and so sayeth the Tommy