Getting it in.

Well guys and gals, its been long enough, once again N to the J like yeast will rise to the occasion and make another notch in the blog tree. Lets get right into it. First the weather is really fucked up, for 3 days i can kick it like a soccer ball in my shorts and t shirts. Next thing you know its 3 days of sweaters and jackets and shivering my ass off. Mother nature might be on her period yo. Next, who the fuck thought that the guy who ran a pizza chain internationally would make a good president. I mean really? That dude looked as dumb as them hoes who was trying to holla back at him once he made the GOP. But fuck that shit, i mean im sure any dude stuck managing all of the pizza places in America would get horny and hit on some chicks. But you cant do all that and try our for the white house either. Come to think about it, i still hate bush too. Fuck him with a hot iron trident. Twice. In the other news, people still think global warming is a myth. I'd like to take that guy to Canada and make him take hike up all the mountains that dont have any more ice on them. But lets not wander to far into the muckity muck of shit that sucks. Today were gonna brush up on gettin it in. See you may not know it, (and Im sure lots of you do know) that we all get it in one way or another. You ever get your work out on and you actually feel good enough to kill a man, you may have just got it in. Now if your ride's fuckin up and you fix it good enough to keep killinit for a good minute, nigga you just got it in. If you reading this while your girl is tripping and you aint giving a shit, you sir, are getting it in as you read. Tonight germs and gents thats all the flavor you can savor for now. Ill be back sooner than later to kick it with ya's once more. Dont eat it if it still moving. Ya boy's out!!!!

The savage beast within.

I once heard a phrase or saying that went, "music to soothe the savage beast," i like that alot, makes me think of the music i indulge in on a regular basis. That thought in itself almost seems cheap due to the fact that i myself am a huge lover of almost all types of music world wide. So moving right along sportsfans, you have to know that music can make ya hate the world, ease you into a nap, or just let ya know you my be totally alone and thats still ok. My all time favorite band is Korn, but my favorite listening music of all time is Rammstein. Nothing like the guitar riffs in there music makes me feel more at home. One of the best things about music (to me anyways) is that it is the most versatile things to ever exist. One of the best examples that i can think just off the top of my head is from the movie call the shawshank redemption. The protagonist plays some italian opera music and the whole place almost feels as though they have had the smallest taste of freedom in the longest time. Though some music seems almost seems like a complete waste of time and effort. (that spears bitch and those emo fuckers). For now fellow scrapians i gotta secure some food from a guy named Jimmy last name Johns. Peace you fuckers, and in the words of the old nintendo commercials, Play it Loud.

Mandatory Breeding Laws

Ok, gents and gentiles, like the salad said to the bowl, "lettuce rest im feeling beet." Of all the truths that your boy holds sacred, none are so much more important than that of the title. Mandatory Breeding Laws, reason(s) being are listed as follows.

First, we are well over populated with some dumb ass motherfuckers, Im sure you all know a few more than you should. Having said that, regulation of the amount of dumb asses your allowed to put out would be ideal in order to restrict the flow of stupidity amongst the masses that will one day rule this world. Now when you read the news here recently you'll prolly see a few head lines about how the majority of the kids/adolescents/teenagers, aren't faring too well with newer and more innovative technology, jobs based here in the states being out sourced because of the lack of properly educated professionals to hold these positions down, all of this due to the fact that the world is festering with unwholesome parenting.

The next problem is over population, the problem in itself is just that we all like to bone, me, you, him, her, them, everybody likes to get it in. The problem there is being responsible enough to keep your boys from heading right up stream. Some use pills, some just spread it like peanut but are unwilling to accept the fact that what they have done is just down right shameful. Then you have the selected few who are more than willing to be responsible and even go the whole nine yards to raise a family and make certain that their children know what respect is and the concept of those around you. Something we all as people should have known about since we were able to understand the concept of "me".

Last but most certainly not the least of all, the food, if you calculate it just right, we need to produce the same amount of food in the next 50 years that we have already produced in the past 800 years. That is some sincere shit there. But let us not fret and keep in mind that waste makes haste. Alot of shit has to change for the human populous to live on as the dominant species of this planet, and nothing magical is gonna happen to produce this chain of events that needs to take place. It must come from each and every one of us living and breathing it up all the while taking it for granted. This the man known as Nikia Jonez, you've been informed, now do something worth while or just die doing nothing. Either way we can only hope that its not too late for us all.

The Big TWO SIX

Well gang its that time again. time to fill yall in on whats going down here in the deep and dirty south. mostly it has been way to cold this winter. coldest i can remember in some time. coming up in just a couple weeks ill have yet another birthday. 26 years of age ill be then. not old yet but getting there. in my time here in the great state of georgia many great and terrible things have happened. i think when i was 19 was the best year. or at least the most action packed. i went to college the first time, got away from the moms for the first time, was on my own for the first time. it was pretty crazy. id have to say 23 was the worst. not that any of them were really bad but 23 i remember the least about. probably because nothing really exciting happened. well i did have 6 jobs that year, but not because thats what i wanted. and come tax time it really sucked. moving forward things are on the up and up though. back in the schooling, doing my accounting thing. anytime you want to discuss the merits of the LIFO and FIFO inventory accounting systems just let me know. itll be an invigorating discussion. got some ribs, or maybe some steaks, planned for the big day. and dont yall forget tommy week starts next weekend on the 6th, so get your tommy shirts and tommy flags and let the spirit out!

ThunderCat HOES!!!!!!

What up gang. I must apologize for my absence, however as we all know, sometimes shit gets real. Anyhow i was driving down the road the other day and i was thinking about how much i like the thundercats, and how they say thundercats HO!!!! and then i thought what about an escort service called thundercat hoes!!!!!! First would be Cougra, an older yet still sexy escort looking for the youngsters. Then there would be Cheetara, a hottie who looks just like Cheetara from the original thundercats. Next would be The Siamese and the Gato, an asian chick in a cat suit and a latin chick in a cat suit, respectively. My Escort service would be more popular than the playboy mansion. and that is pretty popular. there are surely more clever names that i could have come up with however i was almost home when i thought of it yesterday and now its almost time to get off work. if you have suggestions for names and maybe some examples of what youd like to see at my service. but its time to blow this pop stand so as always be easy on the peasy and ill try to to be such a stranger anymore.

ps. the stranger is the leading cause of carpal tunnel.

A rose by any other name

Ok, ladies and gents, first i apologize in the lapse here at scrappys as sometimes we all catch a case of the "fuck its". Even when it comes to our blog of choice chock full of the flavor you can savor. Having said that, lets just jump right in the foreign waters of todays blog of choice. Names, namely my first name. In the days of recess and pogs, fucking with my name got you slap punched, and sometimes (due to those who would tell on you in a heartbeat) a joke to do with the opposing persons name would usually do the trick as well. Now having said that, let us analyze and interpret said name. Jesus, not the guy from the "good book" but [hay-zues]. Now the reason that this shit is so goddamn funny is that the unexposed breed of uncultured people in the world today automatically start yelling "that's blasphemy" and "who would name there child after our lord?" Now thats usually the classic response almost each time someone "uncultured" encounters my name. Then there's the brothas and sistas, we always try to have fun with the shit, one time in particular wasnt so funny, as i sit in a doctors waiting room, i see him come to the door, squint, look at the room full of people, squint again, and shout "Jesus" (and no not the above pronunciation either) I stand and slowly approach the doc, and the loudest most ghetto ass black lady imaginable simply stands and asks (out loud at the top of her lungs mind you) "boy what you doing walking around looking like that being named Jesus ?!?!" (at the time i was about 220 lbs. and had long ass hair), but all the same the embarrassment soon ensued and there was nothing left to do but simply inform her that I myself had not chosen such an awesome name the day i was born, rather it was just given to me before my real dad checked out of our lives for good. All in all its usually just damn funny when the name comes about, there's even some cool ass nicknames that I've acquired over the years. But thats all i got for ya's today killas. Yall hold it down and keep ya towels folded.

Beef

OK, so today i have en tasked myself with a rather perplexing situation. It starts with an old friend of mine name "Goofy". Cool guy, hard worker, liked by all his peers, and a funny ass motherfucker. But as all sad stories go in life, Goofy met a terrible terrible terrible terrible end. Goofy passed on to the next life in a ditch, hands full on grass and dirt as he tried to pull himself up and look for help and make sure his attacker was far far away. The attacker in question was a typical redneck ass white bread racist punk mother fucker in a white ass town that doesn't like anyone that doesn't match in skin tone. Having stated that, this particular ass hole accidentally hit my boy with his truck. Goofy was hurt and laying there and he realized that the dude wasn't dead, so, he brick him to death. Literally, he beat goofy with a brick he had in the back of his truck, threw him in said ditch and moved right along. What really burns my briquettes is the fact that absolutely nothing at all in any shape form or fashion what so ever happened to this fucker because Goofy's family, (or those who would've had to press charges) don't live in the state of GA. Upon further investigation the cops actually helped him out so that nothing but the accident would be all he was held accountable for. Today this human pile of shit was staring me in the face as i logged onto facebook, i sat contemplating what course of action to take. Or if i should even bother, ya know, letting sleeping dogs lie and the like. But at the same time this friend of mine died at the hands of this scott free ass hole, that's not something I'm just willing to charge to the game. Deaths gotta be easy because life is hard, but to be brought to death's door and forgotten about? No way, no man has been born better off dead, in fact Goofy had more reasons to live than said cocksucker ever will. Well my friends, forgive your enemies, but never forget there names.

Terd Fergusons

Hello again gang, sorry it has once again been so long. the shit has been going down lately. no too crazy but more than any man needs. just started back to good old school again, and it sucks ass. the lady is rocking her scrubs and doing her vet tech thing. one of these days i have high hopes that we will be super rich. but who knows. being way out in the country makes keeping in touch much harder than i originally though. but anyhow now that im done filling yall in on whats going down, it is time to discuss the title of this here blog post. Terd Fergusons. they are everywhere you look. people who are just beyond cheap, cant let anything go. it can be annoying but then if you just remember that they are terd fergusons and then you let them know that they are terd fergusons it tends to make life a little smoother. some people are just douches and when we tell them, it makes us feel better. alrighty gang, well i dont have much tonite, but i will be back to it sooner than you think. tall be easy on the peasy and to all you terd fergusons out there fuck you

My Sentiments

Well ladies and ladiesmen, here we are, you the blog, a computer of some sorts. Getting right down to the stank on the skank, the title of this particular blog is just what this segment is all about. My sentiments; you see not being intimidated by confrontation always leaves a certain amount of openess to other problems that being bluntly honest or unmindful of some one elses little feelings will incite. But dont get it twisted, under just the right circumstances, I may for go giving a fuck just to lay it down to you. To put it in perspective, you will never hear me say "i hate to tell you" cause i dont, if it needs to be said, Im'll fuckin say it. Being that as it may, when it comes to family ya boy has to bite his tounge and take a different route all together. Its a long slippery slope when it comes to family you really care about and something is foul. (and PLEASE beleive me when i say ladies and gents, i aint talking chicken when i say foul). The point of all of this info is to enlighten you the reader, on a subject that has turned my insides out and made me question my own way in life and the decisions i have made thus far. But in the end i feel as though they've made me a little bitch in the process. So here i stand alone once again, thinking "fuck it" there all better off dead by far. But this is my family, what the hell am i thinking this wayabout the people who have instilled the very foundation of all that i hold sacred? There it is, back to square one. If my dear old grandma was still in action i already know these things would have come and passed a long time ag, but without her guidance and wisdom im almost left with an open sore that i can only hope heals soon, one that i call my heart. So their it is gals and gal pals, some more of that ol bullshit infesting upon the mind of the man known as Nikia Jones. No haters (please) i got moves to make, ya'll keep killinit.

Korn

Hello ladies and germs, hope all is ship shape. Getting right into the mix with that flavor you can savor, i gotta tell all about my favorite band of all time. The newer material is a little bit of a let down compared to the cool shit i came up listening to. Back then TRL was hosted by carson daly who had yet to be bought out by the man, he even sported black nail polish and held it down for bands like korn, limp bizkit, TOOL, even the Wu-Tang. (Watch ya step kid) But back to the nitty gritty, my all time favorite song is Got the Life. It says alot by jusy saying so very little. Which if you have come to terms with the atmospheric pressure of the seaport styled blog you already know that suttle shuffle is just the G in somebody. The coolest thing about the band in itself is the videos, almost all the old school animated videos have been drawn by todd mcfarlane himself. (the creative genius behind spawn) Any and everytime i sit for a good listen to the enigma that is korn all i can think about is the cool shit i did while jamming hard to the best of there music. Driving my hoopty, smacking my girlfriend on the ass when it was still a big thrill. Rolling my first spliff, and doing it on the hood of a car in the middle of the night. Memories. Sometimes its all we got, and sometimes its all you want to forget. To all of you out there, be easy hold it down, and smack some ass.

Anticipating

Well sportsfans, the real sportsfans, its just about that time, beer t.v. and some motha fuckin football. I myself will be looking forward to some serious time with an old friend and the practice of the most brutal sport with him, all my good pals in the sandbox will riding high and feelin fly come the end of this month. All in all its just a good time in the life and times of the man known as Nikia Jones, then of course those tasty morsels of cheekiness from the gun man himself. I did stumble upon something rather cool. Yeah i know, its the shit. Moving right along, you gotta check out the new machete movie, its gonna be filled with all kind of cool ass pencas. Yeah. Its gonna be the shit! In other news apparently you only get a ticket in Effingham county for a zone on a routine traffic stop. Also its still illegal to be brown and proud, so fuck the man and his plan. Last but not least, there's the snitches, one that beleive that they appear as plain as one does in there everyday casual wear, but the scent of pork is far too over bearing to even conceive letting your guard down. Thats all for now citizens of gotham, slack a little and hold it down, ya boy is out.

The Knight Rider car

Well gang im back once again and it is of course totally awesome. I have been working the morning shift lately and my boss is all up in my ass so i cant get as much blogging done as i would like. luckily i have an excellent topic to day so you will get quality instead of quantity. Let me ask you a question, what is the coolest car ever? The answer is Kitt the car from knight rider. what a bad ass car, it had the red light in the front that let you know the car was talking, it went fast, if you recall it would go almost 200 mph. pretty bad ass eh? but the reason of this blog isnt just to throw deserved praise on a bad ass car, it is to point out the the original Kitt probably was a gas guzzler. this makes it so ordinary folks like myself cant get one. and we are the people who need cars like that more than anyone else. so here is my idea. we are going to get a black honda civic, give it some tent and then we will attach one of those red lights to the front of it and BAMMO we have a sweet as car very similar to the original Kitt. BAD ASS! but wait we can make it better, thats right i said BETTER. but how you ask? with this. Thats right that is a fucking GPS that talks like Kitt. HOLY SHIT this honda is now truly a mini gas saving Kitt. we have done the unthinkable turned a car no one wants and made it into something everyone NEEDS. looks like its fixing to go down now. i can hear the commericials now. " So you want to get laid but dont know how? Well look no further buy this car now and get laid TONITE!!" this of course would be a monster truck rally annoucer. oh yea, or maybe we could get randy the macho man savage to do it. hell yea. another way to get laid of course is to be like this guy and wear a spandex suit with a picture of yourself on it jumping through a brick wall, does it get any cooler than that. hell no. well guys this has been totally awesome and i hope to be back soon. but until then as always yall be easy on the peasy

On the spot

Never tense, just relaxed, eyes fixed in the general direction of the one causing this confrontation to escalate into what it has now become. Me vs. another, three slow breaths as i slowly prepare to turn my hands and feet into weapons of pain. Then there's his hands, clenched turning into fist ready to fight me. I glare once more, lose the watch, and the chain, Totally relaxed, my hands already know this dance of death, no fixed position, just centered upon the impact of mits to this half assed excuse of a man. My aim is six inches behind the target, his face hole. He lunges and I merely step a inch back and release my hand loosely snapping my wrist at the second of impact. For a moment I look as though I'm stretching forward with my fist in front of me as though I'm blind, only to recoil and send my left hand on an upward arch that connects beautifully with the chin of this half a fucker. At long last the anger wells up and it is no longer the man no one knows by the name of Nikia Jonez in control, only the instinct to finish what has been started. I pummel and push only grab shirt or a wrist and administer more punishment. It all ends with him on his knees if front of me, lots of dirt and disdain mark his fuckin shit ass face. I can feel my conscience slide back into the controls that have went "lights out" in my dome, and now I truly feel as though this has all come to the end. Mercy is not an emotion that I have alot of, but this stupid fuck is lucky enough to get it in the form of my foot on his shoulder, i push he lays back I get in the Granada and put in the wind.

Just for them cool ass G'z

Well my loyal and well educated scrapians, before we get to the brass tax of the past month let us once again send up a big fuck you to the man, letting him down one cool ass motherfucker at a time. Next, big shouts to the gun man himself, i will be hitting your neck of the woods in a matter of a couple of weeks. And of course before we burst the perverbiable bubble, a BIG ass eat shit and die to the new found racist who have dedicated themselves to the removal of best side of ya boy himself. Now then, if you know like i do, there are those who stand out in your mind as far as cool, and altogether a chill ass mofo. This blog is dedicated to all who have jumped in a losing battle for the sake of having your back alone. For any and everybody that has one of those scars you bear with pride, the experience in gaining it and the story of what lead up to the events when that particular tissue was once still imaculate as can be. Last but please beleive not least, all them Glennville Gangstas, now spread all over the beloved dirty dirty, killinit, kickinit, and stickinit like a stamp. But dont feel left out, if step out at night and catch the sight of the blunt smoking slipping and swaying across the moon in the dead of night, rest assured there are at least 3 otha mothafuckas kickinit old skool with ya right then and there.

Just keeping on keeping on

Well gangsters im back again, once again im sorry its been some time. you know how things go though what with being busy and life and what not. recently things have been going pretty smoothly. just chilling out in the country. annas truck just slap quit on her and i was able to put the battery back in after someone else took it out. pretty amazing for a guy who cant change a tire. if you think thats funny it is. but i just have one thing to say. fuck you. and the horse you came in on for that matter.

i have noticed recently that people seem to be getting stupider. not in just one way in all ways. people driving slow as hell in the fast lane, and then they give you the finger when you pass them in the slow lane. people who can use the internet to find my hotel but cant figure out how to get fucking directions. people who inform you that they are using long distance when they call. i dont give a shit if you are on long distance. if thats an issue to you have you dumb questions ready to go.

on another note i am starting to think working in hotel has made me more bitter. oh well fuck it.
i gotta get ready for an accounting exam and some economics plus a super sweet accounting report on krogers annual reports. sounds like fun i know, but it isnt. but the best part is im only two weeks away from having a day off.

yall come back now, ya here

The stop and stare

Well ladies and gents, hope all is well despite that its hot as hell. I wanna address a new "manuever" if you will, the stope and stare, a fello G whose name will be left out, calls it the glance and glare, anyhow, its pretty fuckin handy for rude waitresses and or servers, and espically folks at the hiltony hilton who think im gonna juggle some chainsaws for them upon checking in and shit. The s and s comes in good with traffic, if you get the chance to pull up next to some jackass who forgot that we all are driving on this particular stretch of road of which he does not hold ownership to just give him the stare as you stop, this may even entice the noted douchebag in question to give you the finger or even yell some obscenities, which may lead to more staring while stopped but fuck that guy you locked him in and now you crackin a grin. (yeah fuck a douche bag) I like to use the s and s when some tries the whole "let me borrow a dollar" routine. Ya know? These are MY dollars for this parking meter, and i dont have a spare cause the man needs more bread to expand and create more evil so the price has went up to 1.00 and hour and i have just enuff to dodge a ticket so NO fuckin shittin hells to the motha fuckin nah you aint copping none of my dollars motha fuckin get a job. Moving right along use it wisely as this can also lead to a sudden lash out of violent behavior. Nobody wants to throw them things in this heat, thats all i gotta say about that killas, yall be easy and keep ya dollars in the console. Nikia out.

The useless info

Alright gentlemen and gentleladies, hope you're a ok and traveling with out delay, Ill waste no time bashing in the brains of those motherfuckin shitty ass infomercials. Where do these numb nutted fools get the balls? The dollar store, the moon, maybe the white house? I want cartoons, and late night scary movies, even an old western with that Clint Eastwood flavor you can savor, but infomercials? Not only is this the most pointless useless mindless ass way to try and promote a product but its an utterly tragic waste of mothafuckin time and effort, and if you can gauge ya boy by now TIME is the only thing in this world i refuse with utter strictness to waste. You're not getting any of it back any time soon and you definetly cant win a time share full of it or win it like the lottery. No my fellow scrapians, this just simply will not fucking do. I mean they even sucked cuck norris in, the total gym does kick a lot of ass, ( yeah i got one off the net) but not because of the fuckin infomercial, or even because of good ol chuck, i just wanted a floor work that would do the trick for arms and legs. Theres that other dildo who sells that stupid slap chop where he half ass raps through it. Commercials suck bad enough, (maybe not the old spice ones) so why inflict even more damage to the world of watchers by gumming the senses with mindless ads for dick fertlizers and slap choppers and silver and gold polishes. What are they paying these people, and ladies, why the fuck would give yourself the nun glaze by bragging on what undergarment keeps the pee in? Those poor bastards, never have i been so apalled by the man and his attempt to scalp a grown ass outta some bread. Afroman said it best when he said fuck the corporate world. Oh yeah, Arizona can still suck my half brown ass cheek, and with that I would also like to wish all of you out and about in the blogosphere a good memorial day weekend. Until next time ya'll keep an extra clip, and dont catch one in the hip.

The soul pole network

Well killas, the idea of ideas has come forth. Bore from the tireless thoughts and inquiries of the mind of a man who knows not of greed, only need. An idea so stupendous and out rightly ingenius that only you the reader have the preparedness to deal with such a massive of amount of ingenuity and calculation. Those who have bored us with the tantilizing thought of a channel that only features music are the only ones who face peril with the awakening of such inclinations. An idea so grand that in end of things and in the face of my death I will pass ease knowing that my creation will live on long after after I'm worm food and you the reader can still be easy on the peasy at your own leisure. T.v. will never be what it once was, nore will it hold the same significance as it once did. No my friends nothing about the idiot box will be stale and unappeasing in the slightest. So until then keep you remotes close and your t.v. guides closer, cause its coming and no can do anything to motha fuckin stop it.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is nikia gals and gal pals, slap hands and make plans, im out.

Legalizing racial profiling

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are a hater stop reading at this moment. Now, a quick history lesson, we didn't cross the border (first?) the fucker crossed us. Texas was "annexed" which is just a fancy way of saying being claimed then taken, along with was parts of nevada, oklahoma, and arkansas just to name a few. Moving right along, brown people don't get too loud about the past because as anyone will tell ya, its been so long ago that no one immediatley affected is still around to kick up some dust. So now we have these jack ass non pussy getting bitch face chode gulping ass kissing uncultured shallow fuck faced moronic stupid shylock fuckin race hatin jew prick hippie motherfuckers making it legal for the 5-o to fuck with the brown man, why? Because apparently all the killing and robbing in arizona happens only because "the illlegals" are the ones who are doing all this bad shit. (I mean really?) There's too much shit going down in this small world we live in for some dildos to start sticking it to the brown man just cause they want to. Of all the shit to get worked up over and all the problems facing us as a humanity what in the fuck can posess another human being to judge another by the color of there skin. Greed? Bullshit? Envy? If you run them all out who's gonna work the jobs that the avergae american wont? I've saw any other white people besides me in the fields or the packing sheds, or even most of the construction sites. Who's gonna work for minimum wage or even less? You? Yo momma? Fuck Arizona right up there dry desert ass hole. Its 2010, no one owns the world and no motherfuckin goddamn body has the right to profile me you him her or them because of our legal birth status, color, race, gender, period. That's all i gotta say about that, ya'll keep it real or taste the steel, nikia out.

Im back

alrighty gangsters im back. i know it has been some time but the Sandford is back and better than before. i have moved out to the country in the mean time. its nice and quiet and the destroyer is enjoying it. im still in the hotel business and it still sucks. doing the schooling thing as well. an accountant i soon shall be and then i will come and bore you all to death. of course today is a special day for us all. today is the peoples day. we all do what we enjoy and whole its still frowned upon, like masterbating in airplanes, its still good times. as you may have guessed i agve seen the hangover, totally fucking badass. also was zombieland. it been some time so im a bit rusty on the blogging. so this is going to wrap it up for today. but i shall return and it wont be long. ill be back

ps watch the running man. best arnold movie ever.